Do I have the right to defend myself against a woman?

I know that NYC is a tough town but . . . lately it's becoming more violent as I grow older. For those who don't know, this is a walking city (especially in Manhattan). Owning a car is impractical and expensive here. I walk as much as I can for exercise. However, lately it is becoming dangerous.

I am in my mid-50's and have bad feet. I try to stick to the right side. However, it appears that younger people and minorities don't care and I am forced to walk around them. They will mow you down. They stand in the middle of the sidewalk to take a cell phone call or to text and, if you say "you're blocking the sidewalk (or stairs)" they respond "walk around me." What kind of nonsense if this? Step aside and let the people by you. BE AN ADULT.

Many times now, I've had women purposely shoulder / body bump me hard. I did nothing to bring this on. It's like modern day high school hallways when bullies butt smaller students while changing classes. I'm thinking of arming myself. Technically, men are not supposed to hit women but what if they hit you first and it's intentional and unprovoked? I've bought permanent black markers to ruin their clothes when it happens in the future but I really want to buy a small knife. I've never hurt anyone in my life but I don't want to be anyone's punching bag either. I've also been verbally harassed by women - total strangers - for long periods of time for objecting when they cut long lines (of men and women). They see nothing wrong with such behavior and appear, in fact, proud of it.

What's within my rights to do to defend myself? Police don't want to get involved and aren't around anyway. I will not be bullied without fighting back.

Dear Unguy, sorry you are feeling bullied. I don't want you to be bullied but I also want to point out that attacking someone with a magic marker or any weapon is an aggressive act for which you could be prosecuted. I am concerned enough to offer some suggestions which are non violent.

You said: Okay if I am driving a car and I come upon a pedestrian or another car, I drive around them. Same thing applies when I am walking. I try to skirt obstacles or people by a couple feet if possible. If they slow me down, that is one of the prices of living in a big city.

If someone shoulder bumps you, whether they did it on purpose or not, and you attack them, you will be seen as the aggressor. It does not matter if it is a woman or man. Black markers are an attack also.

The philosophy of yielding to force and not absorbing it or reacting to it has dominated many martial arts. It can also be applied to crowded situations where one does not react and avoids a potential conflict.

I do not see that your life is being threatened. You may think it should not happen and you may be right, but defending your dignity went out when men stopped dueling.

When I have fought back at bullies they only fought the harder. Avoiding conflict is the wisest path in my eyes. That can mean swallowing pride and avoiding arguments. It isn't easy, but others are just as ticked off as you appear to be. Many are living near the edge of poverty and survival. They are like a tinder box ready to explode with a little match. Seeing things from their point of view may avoid conflict.

Firstly, I am old and white and infirm and living on SSDI. I AM NEAR THE EDGE OF POVERTY AND SURVIVAL. Further, I have been feeling suicidal for months. Being bullied by strangers on the street is a major contributor to my current emotional state because it's happening so often. If society cannot be civilized then I don't want to be a part of it; I don't want to be alive. I don't care if people are minorities or poor or women - if they are not civilized and what to fight then I will fight back. I am fighting for my life everyday AND I WILL NO LONGER BE ABUSED LIKE I WAS WHEN I WAS A CHILD. As a gay man I have experienced prejudice my entire life AND I AM TIRED OF IT. People who bully me are not deserving of sympathy and I refuse to feel sorry for such low lifes. I have the right to defend myself from bodily harm. And, I will.

Don't draw a knife unless you've been trained to fight with a knife; the woman who shouldered you too hard as she sent a text might have been trained by the IDF to relieve you of your blade and stick you with it. I recommend that you read books on or take a course in the Japanese martial art aikido; it could make you feel better about bumps and attacks.

Thanks. I have been thinking of taking a karate course even though I'm almost 60. The women who body and shoulder bumped me were not texting. Their actions were intentional. And, they intend to physically harm me for no reason whatsoever. I wish I were fast enough to trip them but I've always had slow physical reactions, now made slower by age. In short, I am an easy victim. I am tired of being bullied and victimized. In a world where men and women are truly equal, if a woman bullies me then I should be able to fight back. They seem to want to have it both ways, be bullies and claim protection based on their sex. Even my mother emotionally abused me. Her mentality was that I can do whatever I want and you still have to love me because I'm your mother. In my mind, women are undeserving of special status.

At almost sixty and infirm, karate (and also aikido, which can be hard on the knees) can give you significant training injuries. Overtraining for karate and TKD competition for a few years set me up for a lifetime of knee pain. Jiu-jitsu, Brazilian or otherwise, is an excellent alternative. I think that you should constantly strive to avoid any conflict that could leave you injured, facing assault charges, or both. People who get into fights need money for hospital bills, bail and a good lawyer.

Hi. I'm a Former Marine and practitioner of the proprietary "MCMAP" art, Aikido, Judo, parkour, and others. I've been in many fights, subdued people in violent real-world situations, been shot at, stabbed, etc. I feel "comfortable" in hostile environments at this point, at least to the degree that reason and preparedness allow.

I've come to the conclusion that there are a few major factors that apply in any of these situations, and having a knife or being able to throw a flying dragon kick is not one of them. First, you have to know when to fight and when to avoid fighting. This is simple: 99.9% of the time, you avoid fighting. There's nothing cowardly or unmanning about that. It's just tactically-sound advice. Unless your life is in imminent danger (or you're willing to risk your own life in the defense of another person) fighting should not even be part of the equation.

Another thing is escalation of force. A lot of people who carry weapons don't understand this concept, but producing any sort of weapon is an escalation of force. A shoulder bump can quickly turn into getting shot in the face if you pull a knife, and most people wouldn't blame the person who shot you. Knives are brutal weapons, and even LEOs are trained to respond to them as an imminent threat to their life (i.e. you're probably going to get a hollow point in the chest if you pull a knife on a cop.)

Martial arts won't help you. Even if you practice long enough to make use of a move or two, what is your plan? Use an arm-bar TD on someone who bumped into you? You will probably be swarmed by other people so fast your head will spin, especially if you bust out some judo on a woman who appeared to be just walking around.

Fear is a natural response to threats in your environment. Anyone who isn't afraid of someone bigger, younger, meaner, etc. who is posing a threat is probably quite dumb. It's not a matter of shame, it's a matter of sense and survival. It's nature. The only thing training does is drill into you the ability to operate in spite of that flood of complete terror. It allows you to continue making rational decisions quickly enough to (hopefully) survive.

The first of those rational decisions is usually "can I get out of this without putting my life on the line?" And in most "street" confrontations, the answer is yes. Walk away or avoid the situation altogether. Some punk tough guy (or girl) on the street is not worth worrying over, much less initiating an exchange of violence.

Note...I used to date one of those hypothetical IDF-trained women that were mentioned. I'm not even sure I could have taken her down, knife or not...so you don't want to get on their bad side lol

Taking the title on face-value:

Yes, absolutely. Does that give a man the right to go around beating up women because they looked at them the wrong way? Absolutely not. xD Just be mindful that, typically, women aren't as strong as men, so remember you may not need to be as heavy handed. (not just in a hitting sense—although I can't imagine it being necessary to hit a woman, unless perhaps a life or death situation—even just in a pushing-them-out-of-the-way sense)

I've personally not been in a situation in which I've had to use force vs a woman, except perhaps against an ex who was a tad too determined, if you know what I mean, and even then, I didn't feel right. There are those women that take advantage of the guy who doesn't want to go around bashing them around, by provoking them every chance they get. (I really abhor those kind of cowadly women, and I imagine there to be similar sort of men)

Having read the rest:

Uuuuum... what? If someone bumps into you in the street, you do NOT pull a knife on them, dude; that would, at least in my opinion, be unnecessary and nigh on inappropriate. Wind back a tad. Also, the guy above me has sound advice worth taking in.

I am sorry this is happening and apparently often enough to be triggering your Ptsd that your mother caused. I don't know how you get rid of that, I haven't managed to and my crappy mother has been dead for years! You have a similar situation to road rage I would think and man sometimes THAT is really hard to not act on.
A JERK passed everyone on the right the other day and I honked he flipped me off and I would have given anything to have been able to shoot his tires out. But no that would just get me in trouble!

Big hug and hang in there.

pretty sure if you stab someone with a knife for bumping into you on the street you'll be spending the rest of your life in jail or in a hospital for people who are a danger to others
i'm sure these feel like direct attacks but perhaps you're the one who needs to act like an adult here. you said it yourself, you're an old person. so act like it.
maybe some people will side with you but pretty sure if you stab a woman and then tell people "women are undeserving of special status" you'll to jail for assault because you're a misogynist
perhaps they'll care that it comes from trauma and abuse from your mom but as you said, you're an adult, they're not gonna care about your "excuses"
so act your age and take control or your life. stop being controlled by your mother. stop being controlled by people on the street. go change yourself because no one in the world is gonna change for you.