Introductions please

Fellas,

It'd be nice if we could just write a few lines (or a few paragraphs) about ourselves, telling our story, and how we came upon this forum, and maybe why we're here.

What do y'all think ?

I'll introduce myself as soon as one other person does

Hi lilodian4ever. I stumbled onto this site in a google search. Being an active member feels good and helps me cope with stress.

Well, glossing over the first things, I was always one of those people who overachieved through hard work. It never came easy, but I was #3 in my class in high school. It was when I was 16 that I had my first major depressive episode.

I went to college and struggled and fought to get through and likely had a second major depressive episode during that time. Although it was hard to tell given the stress and crazy lack of sleep.

I got out of college and went to work for first an environmental company and then a carbon black company. I "met" my wife then and got married and at around 25 had my 2nd or 3rd major depressive episode that I got through myself.

Went to work at a chemical company with my wife and daughter (stepdaughter, but I hate that term) and we had my oldest son on the way. I had to get therapy again for another major depressive episode. By this time they were getting closer together and would last a few months.

Got laid off and went to work for GE where along came my youngest son (Da Bean) and everything went to hell. Long story short, we had to declare bankruptcy, were homeless for a while, etc.

We got back on our feet and I went into another major depressive episode. It was at this point that they were finally able to diagnose it as major depressive disorder (a recurring pattern of major depressive episodes). At 35, the major depression basically became permanent (which is common for those with major depressive disorder).

I stumbled into this place as somewhere to ramble through what was going on.

I self-diagnosed for decades as depressed with occasional anxious episodes. Last year I went to therapy and was diagnosed with Social Anxiety. I was researching it on the internet. I'm still not sure wtf is wrong with me.

Wow, thanks for sharing that, man. That's an interesting story ... people's stories always fascinate me.

It's also interesting (and sad) the pattern you described of MDD.

Why do you feel the depression became permanent ? Has it not let up at all since 35 ?

I've read a few of your posts on here, and you seem like a really interesting level-headed guy. I wouldn't have guessed that you're suffering from MDD.

I'd love to hear more about your story !

BTW, why did you put the quotes around "met" in "met my wife at 25" ?

I'm 31, been depressed and suicidal on and off since 13. My official diagnoses are: Borderline Personality Disorder (more common in women), Bipolar type 2, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder (and maybe Eating Disorder).

If you knew me in real life, you'd have no chance of guessing that I'm in this sorry state, because I go around wearing a mask that hides a miserable human being that just wants to be loved.

The root cause of my unhappiness is that I'm alone and don't know how to connect with women. So, I've been alone almost all of my life. Truth be told, all I really want in life is a special woman to share it with.

By most third-person accounts, I'm intelligent, good looking, healthy and very fit, relatively successful, and have a lot to offer as a friend and bf/husband. After suffering through college, I earned a Computer Science degree and have worked as a software engineer for the past 8 years.

I'm probably only alive today because I discovered resistance training 7 years ago, after a bad breakup. It is the only medicine that consistently works for me.

I must say ... I'm really glad I discovered the men-focused support subforum here. I'm mostly on the BPD forum which is dominated by women (who don't understand male problems).

I am 60. I've spent time with 4 different pdocs (they all kept retiring) and each of them diagnosed me as bipolar type 1. I have been a librarian for the past 25 years. I am married with no kids.

First, yes, the depression has been on-going for 7 years now. The minute I get off my medication it hits me like a wall (like if I run out for a few days). This is common for MDD. I've had a couple of scares in the past 3 years that even the medication couldn't stop. Luckily, my meditation practices have taught me to keep one part of my mind on alert and watching what's going on (mindfulness in full force). It doesn't show much because make it a practice to try to focus on other people, doing whatever I can to help them in their life as it also helps me in mine.

And, hehe, I put quotes around "met my wife at 25" because our story actually goes back to high-school. It's one of those cute stories where we kept running into each other and never went the same direction until we really got to know each other when I was 25 and ... here we are in our 40's ... that sweetly nauseating couple that people know will be the cute old folks dying together.

The story of how we got together is in the married men thread in this forum.

52 years old struggled all my life with depression and only self diagnosed in my 40s
My life crashed all around me about two years ago.
Separation divorce demotion at work and a serious injury that requires surgery.
I finally got some help and found out I was bipolar type 2
Anxiety and add. to throw into the mix. I am trying hard to hold on but its a struggle.
The sadness is crippling at times.
The good news is I have three grown children who are supportive and a girlfriend
who really seems to care about me and love me despite my issues.