Lack of resources and stupid therapists.

Are you implying that you don't believe such a thing is possible?

Thank you for this post, the part I bolded is right on target. He never learned how to do anything more so of course he just shut down, it was all he could handle to admit that he had harmed me.

That whole experience was so strange, because I know all too well how rare it is for an abuser to actually express genuine remorse for what they've done. It fascinated me, frankly.

Do you think he stopped abusing? Or did he merely feel remorse, and then keep exhibiting the same behaviors?

He stopped abusing me and my sister, and from what my mother has been telling me he has ceased abusing her as well. He can still be an asshole yeah, but he's not the same man that he was when I was growing up.

No, not at all. Even with a psychopath there is "some", though very fleeting. That is often "why" they like to manipulate so much. Whatever "is" fleeting, has nothing to do with the other person though. They don't have self esteem issues as would a person with NPD.

Yeah, the only emotion I really feel is a cold kind of anger and like you said, it's quite fleeting. The other things I can feel are boredom, amusement, and excitement... but again, all fleeting.

And you're correct, as someone diagnosed with ASPD I can say for a fact that I don't have the self-esteem problems of someone with NPD.

I agree with what Atypical has to say. I definitely do have that bit of "cold anger" for lack of a better phrase. For me, it's not really an emotion though. It is usually that I feel that I have had something that interested me taken away, or that people are simply being illogical and attempting to hurt me (usually a combination of the two). For me, there really isn't anything else but being stimulated and being "bored." In other words, those are the only emotions I experience. I'm either occupied, or trying to find something to occupy me.

This post describes me to a T. Haha.

Mattmx,

One time I was interacting with a psychopath and at that time I was really struggling and the conversation came to me unexpectedly. So there I was very involved in that conversation trying to explain something to this individual. Well, all of a sudden I really thought about what I was doing and so seriously trying to explain something to this individual and what that meant. Well, I ended up laughing to the point it hurt, not at the person, but myself and how serious I had been in that attempt.

There I was overloaded with empathy, trying to explain it to a person who had none. So I somehow caught a glimpse of myself being so serious in that situation and I just really laughed at myself. Oh, I tried to explain what that meant to this other individual, and that was also futile and I laughed at myself for that too.

It was not anything about anyone else, it was seeing the "blind leading the blind" and I was one of the blind and I was just able to see the humor in it. It's a lot like that comedy really The Big Bang Theory. Well, it's nice to be able to laugh at self, had not done that in so very long.

I officially like you.

Do you laugh though? Do you see/feel humor?

Yes, I have a sense of humor. Though it is obviously a darker flavor of humor. It seems that people with ASPD have senses of humor, but they are different than a "normal" person. If that makes sense.

But you can see what I was laughing about in that situation right?

Yes I can. You and this person were polar opposites, and you had that light bulb go on in your mind and you were able to see the humor in trying to explain something(empathy) to someone who was incapable of feeling it.

And I have to say, the fact that you can find the humor in a situation like that says a lot about your character.

Well, I so did want this other person to laugh at it too. No matter the difference, it's just so nice to connect on "some" level. The best is in laughter though.

I believe connecting on "some" level is appropriate as well, but the problem is the majority of people with empathy I've encountered only want to connect on an emotional level. If that isn't possible, they get scared or feel hurt.

Hmmm, or angry and frustrated. It's just so much a part of how they are, very emotionally involved. It's just that that part of their brain is so involved and active even when they don't want it to be.

Very true, that's why the only way you can really improve is by first becoming aware of the root of your emotions.

Yes, and I think that is why I like to help others the way I do. It can be very complex.

I didn't go further than this last page but reading the comments I felt the need to throw some change in. Mattmx hit the nail on the head with people wanting something from someone with little to no empathy can not give. People who understand others and their feelings only find it more difficult to understand how "we" can't do those things. How we can't understand what they really mean when it comes to emotions and fully understanding them. Sure we can "act" as if we do at times which in turn makes it harder for someone who has seen this then nothing. Empathy equates to understanding from other perspectives and feeling emotions rather than just being an explanation/definition. Sure we can read definitions all day. Same as we can read about different types of people and we can never be them, just know of them in what is written. Atypical you have a great sense of humor btw!!!

Even I have changed nearly 6 therapists but my last therapist helped me out alot, it's just about finding the right one

What was the problem with the others?

I understand what it's like because I can see that it would be a lot like knowing a lot about the horse and many details about how to ride it in a certain style of riding, however, that does very little when sitting in the saddle with no personal experience in riding and having to feel everything that one knows intellectually for the first time. If a conversation takes place between one who has ridden all that has been intellectually learned with someone who has not, there will be a gap between the two people. Just as an example, among many that could be used.

All of this is very true for NPD, but I'm a bit different. I can understand others' feelings and emotions, why they have them very well. Sure, I don't have them myself but they always make sense to me. That's how my lack of empathy presents itself. The thing is though, as you've said, acting like I share in those feelings is impossible to do correctly. No matter how well I do it, since they aren't really there, they never seem "quite right."

I would say it's more like a counterfeit bill. On the surface it looks completely right and normal, but if you really look at it and think about it you can spot the subtle differences between the real bill(real emotion) and counterfeit (fake emotion).