[Starks518]

To have a successful relationship with a narcissist? Granted, a relationship is possible with anyone with any given traits but I mean a truly successful, long lasting, free of infidelity relationship?

I was diagnosed bipolar and take medicine regularly which has helped tremendously. I was previously in a relationship with another bipolar (rapid cycling) which did NOT work out. Months after my ex that I was with for 5 years and had not spoken to in 5 years suddenly resurfaced with claims of having always missed me and still having feelings. She is not diagnosed NPD but she fits a lot of the qualifications. I realize I am also co-dependent but is it worth it to reopen this chapter and have it be a successful relationship or should i head in the other direction?

[Atypical_Disaster]

My mother is married to a Narcissist and has been for 25 years, and yes both of them are happy. My mother is sociopathic though, so I'm sure that has something to do with it.

[Starks518]

Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster

My mother is married to a Narcissist and has been for 25 years, and yes both of them are happy. My mother is sociopathic though, so I'm sure that has something to do with it.

I would like to believe it is possible but I have a slew of doubts especially after our 5 year stint together. I was shocked to even recieve an email out of the blue 5 years later but assumed enough time had passed and maybe I had been too harsh on her and I had undiagnosed bipolar so maybe I was part of the problem as well. Me having bipolar and having major depressive episodes along with low self-esteem and co-dependency (wow, I'm just a ball of fun) makes me also question if it will always be destined for disaster. Especially since, now, I am being given the silent treatment (a game I know all too well where I then beg for forgiveness of answers even if I've done nothing wrong). Unfortunately this is now reactivating a major depressive state for me.

I'm not trying to post a "woe is me" message but rather get opinions from others who have more knowledge of the disorder and how it plays out in relationships.

Thank you

Originally Posted by Starks518

I would like to believe it is possible but I have a slew of doubts especially after our 5 year stint together. I was shocked to even recieve an email out of the blue 5 years later but assumed enough time had passed and maybe I had been too harsh on her and I had undiagnosed bipolar so maybe I was part of the problem as well. Me having bipolar and having major depressive episodes along with low self-esteem and co-dependency (wow, I'm just a ball of fun) makes me also question if it will always be destined for disaster. Especially since, now, I am being given the silent treatment (a game I know all too well where I then beg for forgiveness of answers even if I've done nothing wrong). Unfortunately this is now reactivating a major depressive state for me.

I'm not trying to post a "woe is me" message but rather get opinions from others who have more knowledge of the disorder and how it plays out in relationships.

Thank you

I have been with my wife for 20 years. Never have I cheated but yes our relationship has had its moments of chaos (as most do). I also know that because of my NPD which has caused many of our issues in the past. That being said our relationship is so much stronger now and continues to do so as we go along. There isn't another person in this world who gets me the way she does. Her ways have kept me in a path that has helped me so many times over. Especially now in these last few years with being "self aware" I have been able to take time out to listen to her thoughts and insights which really help in the cause of opening my eyes a bit more. Long story short relationships are possible as I am proof. I think though it takes a certain type of person to be what we need as a partner for "these" relationships to work. I don't want to come of too harsh (not meaning to) but with the way you describe yourself I don't believe "you" can have a lasting relationship with a person with NPD. You sound too much like prey to people like us rather than someone who could keep one at bay for long periods of time. My thoughts here only, not trying to write your ending for you.

[Atypical_Disaster]

Underground, you hugged me I feel so special! LOL.

Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster

Underground, you hugged me I feel so special! LOL.

Oh how special it must feel..... Your welcome atypical you deserved it.

[Fontaine Moore]

My mother was a narcissist and we remained very close until her death although we often drove each other batty and once went 9 months without speaking. That was towards the end of her life and I now suspect it may have been partly a matter of her trying to "wean" me, emotionally, although I'm sure it was not a conscious thought on her part. I do suspect that a close familial relationship is something quite different from a voluntary one.

From what I've learned about narcissism, I would have to advise against pursuing a relationship with someone you believe may be one. There are far too many "normal" people out there to take such a high-risk chance. It may not be impossible, but I sure wouldn't bet on it. You don't have children with this person and are not currently tied to her (according to what you said), so I sincerely think you'd do best by moving on and trying to find a nice, normal person willing to accept and deal with your bi-polar illness. If you're both committed to doing that, it seems you have a far better chance of having a happy, healthy, long-term relationship. My two cents!