You know you have NPD traits when...

you think to yourself "being a narcissist is okay.... but, I really want to get better". and you realize that hurting people isn't as much fun as it used to be.

shakespeare47 - my narssistic tendencies landed me in some tough situations that I blamed on bad luck or the world, but later discovered my attempting to hurt others actually hurt me in the end. When I found I was hurting myself more than anyone else it was easier to stop.

Crazy people say you are making them crazy, but they cannot articulate how?

People feel angry and inferior in your presence and while you are aware of it. You havent a clue how to prevent it?

You hate incompetence with a fury.

You have been told you have a commanding presence.

You feel angry and ashamed when praised for your innate superiorities. Who the **** are these people to judge you? Why are they even speaking to you?

When you're afraid to spend much time with people, because you're afraid there might be something really wrong with you, and you might be doing more harm than good, without even realizing it... or even have much control over it.

When you think back to the times in your life when you've been out of control with your arrogant, abusive behaviors, and you wonder if there is any way you can ever make up for the harm you've caused.

No. A narcissist will never cop to arrogant abusive behaviors, unless its a head game.

When you feel a little sorry for people who will probably never change, because of the way they define themselves... and refuse to take responsibility for their actions.

And you sometimes wonder if that's what people think about you.

I used to be more worried about what other's opinions were about me, but it didn't really make me happier or more in control of my life. I do need to act appropriately with other people and not do hurtful things, but don't need to spend my life worrying about what everyone's opinion of me is. It took setting my own limits so when I feel an anger outburst coming on to postpone it and try to find the solid ground of what I really want to communicate to others. It is not an easy fix but more like an ongoing process that has small noticeable results over time. Progress is what my goal is now.

When you don't take pride in the possibility that you may be diagnosed as having NPD. And you realize that taking pride in a diagnosis makes as much sense as being proud of your shoe size.

(I do take pride in being an INTJ, though. They're pretty cool. And we're a rather rare personality type, with an unusual way of looking at the world.)

When you hate the things your narcissistic father did, and yet, you know you learned some behaviors from him. And it makes you feel depressed, and sad, and a little angry.

When you both want and fear getting attention.

When you realize that these traits do define you rather well...

• Believing that you're better than others
• Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness
• Exaggerating your achievements or talents
• Expecting constant praise and admiration
• Believing that you're special and acting accordingly
• Failing to recognize other people's emotions and feelings
• Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans
• Taking advantage of others
• Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior
• Being jealous of others
• Believing that others are jealous of you
• Trouble keeping healthy relationships
• Setting unrealistic goals
• Being easily hurt and rejected
• Having a fragile self-esteem
• Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional

and that fact depresses you.

When the arrogant and down-putting comments you make at parties and social gatherings seem appropriate at the time... but, make you cringe with embarrassment when you recall them later.

And you're a little worried that someone might have been offended and decide to "get even" with you in some what that will cause you pain.

Ah, I so know what you mean. How did you know that about me? LOL .

It's cool to see you are INTJ, I am one too. Do you think this personality type is the one most likely to result in traits of NPD? I wonder if there's a correlation.

^ I'm not sure. I do like the fact that there is much written about INTJ's... and there are many benefits... and there is plenty of advice about how to make being an INTJ work to one's advantage.

INTJ's are known to be sarcastic.

Thanks for the link, very cool info!

You get so angry and irritable when someone doesnt hear you the first time....

Aaah, now I get it , sorry I'm a bit slow today, haha. Just wanted to say though I'm not being sarcastic about the link, it really is cool info .

How about...when your solution to overpopulation is that everyone with an IQ lower than your own should be sold to aliens to be ground up for pet food. For alien pets. I wouldn't give dogs or cats stupid people meat. Aliens have some alien technology...

I'm not sure what you mean. Please elaborate.

I thought you were being sarcastic when you said there is so much written on INTJ's, sorry, my misinterpretation.

^No. I was totally serious. Just do a google search. There is a lot written and it details the good points and bad points... It makes INTJ's sound pretty cool.

did you see my other posts in this thread? It sounds like the MH community is coming around and starting to see people with NPD traits not just as problem causers, but as people with severe pain in their lives. I do have this feeling of being misunderstood. That I know I was severely traumatized, and that it is difficult to be me... I have this awareness of causing pain to others around me, and it's distressing to me.

I know, it's crazy, I feel the same things. Sometimes I just feel like I'm a real jerk or something. It's not like I'm actively searching to hurt people, but I've realized I hurt people with something as little as say not greeting people when I walk into the office in the morning. I don't mean ignore them when they say it to my face, I mean say it general so that people can hear kind of thing. I tend to sneak in like a thief in the night . But, it's just me, I don't like to stir up anything, I like not being noticed to a certain degree.

^ I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting and getting attention.... As long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. I've been trying to find healthy ways to get the attention I crave.

Story of my life. Thank you for saying that and for letting me hear those words from someone else's mouth.