So, I tried to take over a small town.

You could always have a Bar-B-Que at the town park.Invite the business owners and their families, the Chamber Of Commerce and their families as well. Play some volleyball, have some beverages, some food and fun. You'll have them all together and you could apologize to them all at once, or each person individually as the day progressed. I personally think it would go over well and any hard feelings that existed in the past should be all but gone. Might be an all win proposition for you.
And don't forget the dunk tank so they can all dunk you to their delight LOL.
Just kidding I think you could skip the dunk tank. Hope whatever you do works out well. Good luck.

^LOL. I wish I could do something like that.. if I could pull it off, I'd do it. It might be seen as yet another attempt by myself to get attention...

And, my previous experience with apologies has been less than positive.

If I thought I were being baited, I would smile -- sincerely/insincerely, wouldn't matter -- and not take the bait. If people think you are a joke, admitting you may have behaved like an ahind (as opposed to "behind"), instead of apologizing (in other words, going along with their impression of how you acted) might surprise and discombobulate them into thinking better of you. It is kind of like being able to laugh at yourself. Other people respond well to that ability, it shows you are not afraid/ashamed of being wrong/making a mistake.

One of my favorite sayings is still: "When you are being run out of town, get in front and make it look like a parade"

So some of the things I read in this post do hit home. I have worked harder at being recognized as one of the best rather than being one of the most successful in my field(NPD downfall I guess). My work has been featured in magazines, recognized in the top 100 in the country for the past two years so I have accomplished my image but I am now done with that. You see in reality I am my own worst enemy. I am trying to turn a new corner by not worrying so much of being the best and more at the success aspect. I believe because of my ways this will work more or less because of my sickness and the way it always has to top for whatever I set to do. I do think that many of us have talents that exceed but many of our minds translate the outcome (or in reaching it) in ways that aren't accepted by most or at least understood. Either way at time's it is hard. Someone wrote here something very similar to what was written in my fortune cookie last night, "You become mature at the first time you can laugh at yourself." We have issues when it comes to "ourselves" the way to be seen, heard and so on. We need to work on ourselves and what is buried far deep away to start to see what reality truly is supposed to be like. We do have the many masks that has worked forever but is it really working? Really only prolonging our issues most of us speak about working on. Pain is here, it's who we are!! We just need to let it go and see our true self and than we have a chance. Words are so much easier than actions.....

I don't see bragging, Shakespeare. I see an interesting guy who takes an interest in the world around him and who takes pleasure in learning things and being good at what he does. You also remind me of my family. I don't see boasting in simple statement of fact.

Some people don't like those who have "more". It makes them very angry. You have more. Life is not fair. You didn't set it up that way. You were dealt your hand like everyone else.

I had the gifted boy who told me in all earnestness that he could not take piano lessons. See, his one friend was athletic and academic. His other friend was academic and musical. My kid gave me the "so figure it out" look. I said he could be athletic, academic and musical. I wasn't prepared for the outburst. "Why can't you do three things? What law says you can only be good at two things?".

"BECAUSE ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL!" He cried this out with real pain in his voice. I understood too. It's just not fair that its just not true in the sense we would like it to be. That conversation was as heavy as the one in which I had to break the news about human death to him.

Maybe all gifted people have narcissistic wounds as well. I just know its painful.

I was a girl who read well. I still read out loud well. It always pains and shames me. Once When I was a girl scout reading well made another girl look sad and wistful. It still gets to me.

We are crazy. A crazy minority. Its why they go after intellectuals first.

They have better emotional connections.

I am absolutely sincere when I say that on Adderall I find people much more interesting, get emotional satisfaction out of interacting with them, and am naturally better liked by them. I was fifty before I could have that human experience with people who weren't really really intelligent or super engaging. I like It!

I don't know of I have "ADHD" or if I unconsciously suppressed my dopamine levels to avoid standing out so much as a bright (weird, different) kid.

Considering all the options.. I think this is the best. I am getting better at just laughing at myself, and taking things less seriously. And, one T reminded me, we can always just think "who will even remember this 100 years from now?". Maybe it's arrogant of me to think of myself as being so important that my rudeness will somehow damage people in ways they will never get over. I have had people let me know that I didn't have much effect on them. The worst thing I have to deal with is that my rudeness hurts me most in the long run as people see me as a rude person they don't want to help. I am my own worst enemy in that regard.

and your comment about the parade truly made me laugh! LOL.

but, there are times I wish I could do good things to make myself feel better about the bad things I've done. It would have to be anonymous..... or, I would find a way to make it about me. But, that's something of a bind, because it is about me. lol. I would be doing it because I want to feel better.

Do you have a satisfying life?

The funny thing is, my sanity score is 40. I like who I am right now. Most days, I like who I'm married to. I'm doing what I've always wanted to do. I'm starting to make new friends (that is the scariest part).. I love my 5 year old son, he is just so much fun to be around. I still have bad days every once in a while, but that's okay.

It's so true. I love talking about topics that interest me... and I love thinking just crazy, out there, what if? type of thoughts. I think about what we all like to believe... about assumptions we as a nation have, or the assumptions that Christians make, or that atheists make.. and then I challenge them, and ask "why?".

And I've had people look at me like I'm crazy, and I have literally been told to "stop thinking that way". I just couldn't believe it.I thought to myself... "My thoughts are disturbing you? You can't comprehend the things I like to ponder?" It truly blew my mind... It's took me years to recover and to try and get back to the creative, interesting, thoughts I like..... and the things I like to research, because I think they're interesting.

I've gotten so much enjoyment out of another forum I love to visit. It's devoted to personality types. I get on there and just stir things up.... I'm provocative, and play Devil's Advocate, and generally make a pest out of myself, and love every minute of it. I talk about what I'm reading and researching and get people to talk about it with me, and argue and make points, and listen to counter-points.. Then I read other what other people are posting and argue with them... I feel like I'm alive!

I do have a very satisfying life. I too am married and have four children. Are there issues that come about because of my thoughts? Of course. In the end I have a beautiful wife who continually challenges me, understands my mind (mostly) and keeps me in check. This is what helps me. While normal people may say a relationship needs to be built on so and so, I believe a relationship needs to be built on what works for each couple. My goals have always been high. I live in a very expensive home where the taxes are the highest in the country. I work for myself and get to travel more often with my family because of my arraignment. I have done many things in the past that fed my supply continually but now I see that being more to myself is better for me. For instance I can sit with a fishing rod in my hand for 12 hours straight, alone, catching nothing and be perfectly content. I do like the time to sit and reflect in nothing except for the scenery around me. I was president if one of the largest sporting groups in my town which made me like a celebrity here. Constant feeds. Honestly prefer my own time to think of nothing, listen to nature and see the leaves blow in the wind. I am a person who stays pretty much the same when it comes to showing any emotions or reactions (unless angry). To me friends are really people who pass through different stages if my life. I don't ever feel as if I need them. Last December my real friend was killed in a car accident. This stays with me everyday and no matter what will show me each day that I am hurt. For meeting new ones I have no interest, better yet when I do I show no interest. I am almost 40 who I am is who I am. Can I get better? I hope so as I would like to think differently that I have for the past 40.

^Thanks for that. My relationship with my wife is also very useful. She challenges me in interesting ways, and helps me laugh at myself.
As to not really caring about friendships.. I can relate. I can't think of anyone I miss. I think I understand why. The people closest to me when I was a child hurt me in very deep ways... it trained me to reject closeness.

But, I do sometimes care about the humans around me, and would like to make their lives better somehow, or at least learn not to hurt them...

Perhaps I'm making amends by just raising my son. His mother (my wife) and I are doing everything we can to be sure he is having a very happy, well-balanced, normal childhood.

"arraignment" Sounds serious. What are the charges?

Spell check is the charge LOL