[cureav]

Hi there,
I was reading some articles about comparing healthy and pathological narcissism and they were saying that narcissists have big ego. On the other hand, they were saying that their Ego is very fragile, that they cannot handle a criticism.
I'm confused.
Can someone who knows a bit more about Ego stuff, its development and types, say more about narcissistic type.
Thanks a lot

[r3b0rn]

I think I'm perfect and nobody can ever compare, yet if someone criticizes me or insults me it angers me greatly. I lash out with all the most hurtful things I can think of at the time.

I think maybe that it's that the ego is a facade.

On the surface they believe they are the best thing ever but deep down they really don't like themselves so when someone does not agree with this assessment of themselves it wounds that hidden inner part.

Originally Posted by BeteNoire

I think maybe that it's that the ego is a facade.

On the surface they believe they are the best thing ever but deep down they really don't like themselves so when someone does not agree with this assessment of themselves it wounds that hidden inner part.

True statement above!!!

As for what the first poster wrote, are you reading this as a person labeled as a narcissist (Which more than likely this seems) or is this something you've seen in regards to NPD? Big difference between the two

[Atypical_Disaster]

Classic narcissists do have a huge, yet extremely fragile ego. It's true.

A malignant narcissist like myself, however is a different story. I am far harder to wound in the ego department. To many I look completely indestructible in that regard. But I am still a narcissist, just a different kind.

[Mattmx]

The base of most personality disorders is a defense mechanism. NPD is someone manifesting a big ego because they're coping with true feelings of insecurity in most cases. (Atypical you're much different than someone with NPD in my eyes based on all I've seen from you in your posts) What makes it so difficult to be seen is that, as the name states, it's a personality disorder. It's not just a trait; this manufactured ego is generally who they believe they are. One of the reasons NPD is so hard to treat is because the majority of people with NPD do not have the self awareness and objective perspective to see the underlying insecurity.

Someone with an ego they created without the knowledge it's not how they really feel? Well, an insult is going to get them fighting their subconscious and you'll be the scapegoat.

[Atypical_Disaster]

Matt, I appreciate that yes I do look different than most with NPD in my posts. But it's not much different than how I am in real life, I wear a mask. It's really that simple. I do not reveal my true thoughts about much of anything on here or elsewhere. I keep all that information close as I do not want anyone to see my weak points(yes, I am aware I have those... though I am dissociated from it most of the time in a sense.)

I have more self-awareness than what's typical for someone with NPD but hey **** happens I suppose. Really, either way I am ****ed as far as treatment goes(though as I've said, I have no interest in changing), If I had no self-awareness then no one would get very far with me. I have self-awareness, so therefore people don't believe I have the disorder. Hahahahahah.

[Mattmx]

Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster

Matt, I appreciate that yes I do look different than most with NPD in my posts. But it's not much different than how I am in real life, I wear a mask. It's really that simple. I do not reveal my true thoughts about much of anything on here or elsewhere. I keep all that information close as I do not want anyone to see my weak points(yes, I am aware I have those... though I am dissociated from it most of the time in a sense.)

I have more self-awareness than what's typical for someone with NPD but hey **** happens I suppose. Really, either way I am ****ed as far as treatment goes(though as I've said, I have no interest in changing), If I had no self-awareness then no one would get very far with me. I have self-awareness, so therefore people don't believe I have the disorder. Hahahahahah.

Lol NPD can be self aware, sounds like you've just run into some black and white thinkers. What makes you not appear as a NPD person is your motive from what I derive from your posts everywhere

[Atypical_Disaster]

I'm glad you don't see me as having NPD, I didn't want you to.

[Mattmx]

Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster

I'm glad you don't see me as having NPD, I didn't want you to.

Who is as they demonstrate on the internet?

[Atypical_Disaster]

Exactly, hahahahah.

Who's to say you're not actually a penguin. I would like to know, the answer is of grave importance.

[Atypical_Disaster]

Originally Posted by Mattmx

Lol NPD can be self aware, sounds like you've just run into some black and white thinkers. What makes you not appear as a NPD person is your motive from what I derive from your posts everywhere

Frankly I think you nailed this one right on the head as you usually do lol. I've been analyzing myself yet again because the "void" you and myself talked about in one of your threads made itself known within me again.

I have a huge ego, totally. I can look like I have NPD at times, but as you said, I ran into some black and white thinkers and lol I know this is silly but I just can't resist playing around with another diagnosis and emulating it just for the fun of it, lol. Especially since I have an ego larger than the sun it's ridiculously easy for me to mimic NPD.

A lot of people come on this forum saying that narcissists are total monsters, not human, buttholes, etc and I am just sitting here with a smile on my face(another example was that now locked thread in the ASPD forum where I was being insulted left and right and I was just smirking the whole time). I am incapable of being insulted, unlike a person with NPD who can be easily angered/upset if they are insulted. For example, I've been called "completely evil" usually by ex friends/romantic partners and I just say, "you say 'completely evil' like it's a bad thing." I don't give a flying flip if people think I'm good or evil. I don't care what people think of me period, whereas the narcissists I've met definitely do care. I was raised by two narcissists(biological father and stepfather) and a psychopath(my mother)... The differences between my mother and my two father figures are profound. My biological father is now deceased. My mother still plays with my stepfather all the time I find it highly humorous.

Clearly, I take after my mother. Hahahahahah!

[Tauren]

I heard it described as having a "hostile inner environment." The narcissist in my life wants followers and anyone who doesn't want to follow her she sees as hostile. It's sad to watch.

[Fontaine Moore]

I've done a bit of studying on the etiology ("causes") of narcissism and there appears to be a dispute about it from the experts. However, there is one theory (have to look up the authors) who describe self-esteem as internal and external. Keep in mind that the ego is that aspect of the psyche which seeks to protect the individual and keep it viable within the environment in which it finds itself. Thought of in another way, it's a support for survival. If a being lacks a sense of self at all, there is no impetus to maintain life. That is the ego's job. Given this definition, which is contrary to the common wisdom, there is no such thing as a "big ego." That term normally references someone with narcissistic tendencies.

Back to narcissism, if a person fails to develop an internal self-concept/esteem but is raised to be dependent on an external concept, then one is constantly craving attention, admiration, agreement, love in compensation for a poor sense of it (or ego, if you will). This explains why someone can have a very weak ego and yet a (theoretically) strong one at the same time. Personally, I believe this explains narcissism better than just about any theory I've come across.