Tired of ocd

I am tired of having ocd, phobias, etc. It takes too much of my time in which I should be doing other things. I just can't control it. I hope my new med works. The checking and double-checking or in my case reading and re-reading is exhausting especially when I pretty much know the stuff by heart, but I have to make sure I remember correctly. I just want to have control of my thoughts. My mind can't be left alone or it goes wandering and it is too small to be alone. LOL. I hate this.

The new meds working some what. Now having to deal with allergic reaction to my hands. Seeing doctor again Tuesday.

(((((((faylowell)))))))
Glad to hear that the meds are working somewhat. I'm sorry to hear about the allergic reaction to your hands though!

Please know that as tough as OCD is to deal with, YOU are tougher than it. And if you ever need to chat with someone about anything, feel free to pm me.

I am still tired of the ocd. It got to me again tonight. I didn't see any reason to start a new thread when I have complained about it before.LOL. I was doing okay until tonight when a car passed me and had a blow-out and I seen sparks coming out from under it in my rear-view mirror. The blow-out scared me and started the anxiety which led to other things bothering me and the ocd taking over because my mind is telling me that I need to constantly check things. It takes up so much time and energy. I should be in bed now but I am still tense. Looks like it is time to be the earphones on and concentrate on the cd.

im tired of gaining weight!! i hate this

It sure is easier to gain weight than lose it. I am trying and the doctor is on my case about it. Why does it seem that some medications and disorders just make you eat? Maybe I am using food as comfort and to be doing something instead of ocding. I am like you I hate it.

The ocd isn't letting me get any decent rest. I am taking more meds. I really, really want to have control of my mind. This checking and double-checking makes me feel like I am failing a test. I don't read something once but over and over. If it is something that seems to hit a nerve, I read it over and over then get up and then get back on the computer and start again. I even started deleting the history, but then I get back on and hunt the information again and the cycle starts over again. I worry about everything. When I am feeling okay, it seems that my mind wants me to have a panic attack and starts thinking about things and then I get on the computer and read and reread. It is like I am doing a research paper. I am trying to limit my computer time to break the habit. I know I had a better control on the thoughts before I got internet in my home. The internet makes information so accessible. When I was growing up, I would walk constantly trying to walk away the thoughts and when I got a bike, I would ride and try to ride away the thoughts. In school, I put everything into my classes and was an honor student. My mind won't relax. YUGH.

I know just how you feel Faylowell, I try not to think about it too often but each day I am so limited in what I can do, where I can go - and then waste so much of the day with all the exhausting preparations and precautions..

Whats meds are you currently taking? I had some fairly rapid weight gain on anafranil thinking back, even though I was exercising more than usual at that stage if anything. Haven't experienced it so much with other meds though. I rarely take anything these days because like you, they just destroy my sleep pattern. Long term insomnia is bad enough by itself (Especially when the kids need to get to school first thing in the morning), but being awake during those pre-dawn hours without any sounds or distractions just seems to heighten paranoia and allow more time to focus on it, well at least for me.

Hope your able to work through those side effects and find a way to put to your mind at ease..

Gayle

I am still tired of the ocd and the prison it seems to have me in. I am going to talk with my doctor about changing my meds. Right now I am on elavil and it doesn't seem to be working that good. I just would like a decent night's sleep.