I have a problem with "checking" and talking to myself...help?

Hi guys,

This is very embarrassing to admit... but ever since two years ago, I've been talking outloud to myself on a daily basis, ONLY when i'm alone and make sure that no one is around. I would talk outloud in accordance to the thoughts in my head. (e.g. if i think of an embarassing situation i went through, i would reason with myself outloud that it wasn't that bad). I wouldn't say they are conversations, but i would talk about random things occuring in my mind outloud.

Another issue I have is with "checking". I guess this relates more to OCD. Well two years ago i went through a little incident with fire. So every morning before I leave the house, I LITERALLY check the stove atleast 5 -10 times before stepping foot out of the house. This goes the same with doors, windows, and even electrical outlets! Somehow, just somehow, I am afraid that my house would catch fire... It is totally unreasonable and i end up arriving late for everything.

Please. I've been trying for a while now to 'stop' these bad 'habits', but have no luck in doing so. I've talked with a psychologist about a year ago when these problems appeared, and she said it was normal for me to be going through this. She helped me realise that I "talk" to myself because I felt alone, which is true. The obsessive checking made sense as well.

But that was two years ago, and although i've come a LONG way, I still retain some of these habits. I want to be normal again and I figure it starts with fixing these issues.

Maybe I'm not trying hard enough?

Perhaps if anyone can share some helpful tips or advice for me to get over this, I would highly appreciate it.

Thank you.

Hey Live Now,

I also talk to myself and find I do it a lot more if I am stressed/depressed or worried about something. It is also a sign of lonieness. If it isn't bothering you in the sense you are upset about talking outloud then there is no reason to stop??? Otherwise I would talk to your Doctor/Psych someone who will understand what is going on.

Have they considered an anti-anxiety medication. Just to ease the compulsion?

Talking to yourself - Hey we really pretty much know what we want to hear anyway, right!?! Kind'a of lightening it there -

But I talk to myself

Used to talk viciously mean to myself. Now I'm learning to be gentler and say stuff like 'it's alright you tried, did your best, silly,
Those are instead of Dumb Stupid *****..... I've come a long way

LiveNow,

I wish I had some helpful tip to recommend. If I did I'ld use it myself. I am posting on your thread just to share that I, too, have developed this tendency to talk out loud to myself and, even though I take pains to avoid being noticed doing this, it doesn't feel right. I kind of like how I feel when I'm doing it, but I feel sad that I do this. It was embarrassing for me to tell even my pdoc. He didn't seem to feel it was particularly noteworthy, which also saddened me. I do know that it is related to loneliness. What I think is very important and "noteworthy" is that - in my opinion - I believe that my doing this is a big sign that I am experiencing loneliness to a degree that is really not good for me and, potentiallly, damaging to me emotionally. Since losing my job one year ago, I have been doing it more.

Also, I am taking the drug Ritalin, prescribed for major depressive disorder. Well, that Ritalin amps up my tendency to talk to myself. These episodes of "self-talk" can go on for hours at a time, and I believe add to my depressive tendency to neglect my responsibilities.

Also, I do "checking," but nowhere to the extent that you do. As in your case, much of mine is related to fear of fire. My checking, however, is not something I would want to change. It's more than most anyone I know, but I feel it is a habit that makes me safer, especially since I am very absent-minded.

What I mainly wanted to say to you, is that it can be disheartening to feel some behavior is a sign of distress, and, yet, to be told that it is not something warranting much concern. Forgive me if I am reading that in to your post, but, I am maybe just guessing that you would like what I would like. That is - I would like the affirmation of a professional who would find this self-talk habit to be a sign that I am comforting myself by doing this, and that something is very much amiss that I need to do this. When I have felt well, I didn't have a big habit of doing this.

I also want to thank you for your post, because I feel better knowing this is not some odd behavior unique to me. That means a great deal to me. I think we need serious help finding our way out of loneliness, and the usual recommendations seem not quite adequate.

When you say you "want to be normal again," does that mean that you were, in the past, a generally happy, non-lonely person. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk about your progress, or lack thereof, in coping with these issues. I would be very interested.