[Don't touch me]

Okay… I have lived an okay life. But I have hated myself as long as I can remember. I always had this big problem. My own mind. I was afraid of everything. I had irrational fears. Like fears of dead people getting mad at me. Of God punishing me for something. Being stalked, being raped by the devil. Stuff like that. I finally told a doctor, and they put me on Paxil. After that, I saw a figure in my room that wasn’t there. Started hearing voices. Felt people reaching their hands into my pocket/touching me. I thought that I was the only real person in the world and that everyone else was fake. Everything seemed to lead me in the direction. Even stupid stuff. I started being mean and distrusting people. I got even more sensitive. I could hear voices in my head insulting me and saying the same word over and over again. I got really suicidal and started stabbing myself with pushpins and stuff. I felt like I was under extreme pressure. I felt unhappy all the time. I felt horrible. I thought about killing myself every moment of every day. I started cutting.
Then they put me on Abilify. The voices have (kind of) stopped. But I’m getting bad again. I hear them calling me a fake. And I can’t focus again. I feel depressed all the time. I want to die. I see no reason to keep on living. I have never been diagnosed with anything but OCD. Another thing is, I have an unnatural obsession with my weight and have considered not eating if I could get away with it. Is this really OCD?

[Mr Lovejoy]

Sounds more like schizophrenia...

[Don't touch me]

I was afraid of that. Schizophrenia/bipolar disorder runs in my family. Thanks for the response....

[Mr Lovejoy]

No problem.
Also, check about the side effects for the medication you were using. It is possible that the drugs actually led to some of hallucinations. Even more common drugs like cough sirup or Benadryl can do that.

[Don't touch me]

Good idea.