[xxAmyxx]

A huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders all thanks to my new amazing therapist.

I was talking with my new therapist and I was saying something about Bipolar. She told me I didn't sound like a classic bipolar. I was always confused about it as well as I never had that *manic/hypo-manic state*.

She said I sounded more OCD in her eyes. Now this makes sense as I did have OCD as one of my diagnosis as well.
I started looking up OCD and stumbled across Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. I have never read anything that sounded so spot on me. Everything I had ever been diagnosed with before I would read through things and just be like eh.. this has aspects that sound like me but it isn't completely me. OCPD was everything. It was like someone wrote a book about what life is like for me every day. Word for word.

I don't think anyone can understand how happy this makes me. I finally have a correct diagnosis after 20 years of therapy. I cried (happy tears) while reading through some of the things. I can finally work on correcting a problem without having to deal with fixing things that are not my problem.

I have a severe need for perfectionism. Everything takes me 20 times longer to do (even sending messages over the internet. I have re-read this post about 10 times now.) and if my fiance or anyone else tries to help me I just get angry. Even when I try and let him help me I just get angry because he isn't cleaning/fixing/whatever something right.
I have very bad sleep patterns because of my OCPD. I am a self employed artist. So when I work on things I work on them till they are finished. I can go without sleep for 48 hours if it is something I can't put down. If I try to go to bed without finishing it or coming to a stopping point that is okay with me I won't fall asleep.
There is no "go to bed and deal with problems/things tomorrow" I won't be able to sleep till it is solved.

Me and my fiance just recently moved and you don't even want to know how that went. It took me more than 2 months to get everything packed up and unpacking was a nightmare. I had friends that tried to come help unpack and they drove me insane. With every box they touched and started to take things out of the more intense my anger grew. I had to tell my fiance that I just didn't want anyone helping us unpack and that it was driving me insane.

My fiance is amazingly understanding with everything. I have read a lot of horror stories about OCPD people in relationships. I have had those relationships in the past. I never cared about anyone as much as I do my fiance. Nothing will stop me now from making this better now that I know what my problem definitely is. I can not wait to not feel this inner turmoil anymore. It is going to be a hard road but I know that I can beat this.

[neffie]

Hi Amy, I'm new here, and this is a post from a few months ago, so I don't know if you'll see this.

I have some ocpd traits too, but I get it confused with whether I have any true ocd ones as well. My psychiatrist always refers to my issues in that area as ocd as opposed to ocpd.

Sorry; have to go. Maybe talk with you sometime, though.

[maxineryder]

It's never to late to get it right

[beaut]

I too was mis diagnosed and given depression meds. Count it a blessing as I do that you have a future spouse who understands and accepts you as you are. My faith has really helped me, as well as some meds and behavior mod.....take care

[Valerina]

Hi Amy,
I'm glad you've found such an excellent therapist; I should be so lucky; in fact I figure I'm about two years overdue for individual therapy or a group support group! Excuse my ignorance: how does OCD differ from OCPD? I must say, your description of needing severe perfectionism, as well as having to do certain tasks 20 times, really rings a bell!