Do you ever feel such darkness?

Wasn't sure where this belongs because its part Ocd anxiety and depression. Its like a feeling of helplessness and despair. But more than that its the violent thoughts, lonliness, desolation, etc. I cant really describe it other than a dark presence or mood, a real dark mood.

OCD and depression rarely go without each other. I'm not surprised that that is how you feel. OCD takes control. It overwhelmed you. I'm not surprised that you feel despair and helplessness. are u working with a therapist?

InfiniteSadness, YES! Thats how I usually feel, but you just need to understand its OCD, its not you, there were times I was like "Man! I need to be happy and i really want to be!" but then there is just a thing that pulls you down, and makes you depressed. But Infinite, this really isn't you. I have violent thoughts as well, and one thing I can tell you no one ever acts on them if that concerns you. My therapist told me, if I ever think "Will I become a killer?" he then tells me why i never think "Will i become a cheerleader?" or something silly like that. Keep posting, this is a great community to help. Find a therapist, or just ask your doctor to schedule one.