[Big Mama]

This is the first time I have posted anything here in this forum. I think I am at the right place. If not feel free to move me to where I should be. Or tell me where to move this.

My H has OCD and will not take meds for it. He was taking Luvox but quit. His thing is cleanlyness. Everything must be all clean all the time. We have snow this week and cold temps last week and he was not able to work. He is about to drive me crazy. Today we white washed all the walls in the house, mopped the floors, vacuumed, he removed the calk at the sinks and replaced them because they were dirty. Hr expects me to pick up and put up all day. I can't get anything done because I'm always taking care of something. Where does this go, did you put away...., go get the ......and put it where it belongs, why is this here, on and on all day.

I try to accommodate him. I do what he asks, I clean like a crazy person, I say I clean things even though I really don't. It's just the thought that it got clean that brings him relief. He is about to drive me up the wall. I have a hard time dealing w/ him on weekends. Saturdays are clean the whole house day weather he is here or not. We are often late to church because he cleans up until it is time to go. Then he has to get ready.

Things have gotten to the point where we are really starting to disagree about the cleaning activities. I have ADD so I'm a pile maker, start a project and leave it unfinished, mess doesn't bother me. I want my house to look like someone lives here. HE wants it spotless.

I don't know what I am looking for here. What responce I am searching out. I am just feeling irritated and exausted w/ him. I guess if anyone has advice on how to stay married to some one w/ OCD that would be helpful. Thank You all for listening.

My brother is OCD, controlling, N and drives me insane (sorry). I just cannot be around him. His house is like a museum. Our office is so industrial looking and just white, chrome and glass. A couole of red accent chairs. I am a miserable nervous wreck around him. Our last big falling out is because he called me and yelled at me and was all demanding at 5:30 in the morning because things literally werent perfect to his eye. Sheesh.

Thank the Lord I am not married to him. I wouldnt be able to take it...

You are much stronger than I, dear friend!

I guess the thing to remember is that it is his Dx and his problem and he will have to work on it if he wants to overcome. But it is not your job to enable his sickness by adhering to his demands. You have enough on your plate. I dont mean to sound harsh but it truly is his problem to fix.

This is probably a really great topic to bring up with T next session. Esp because he refuses to take his Rx. You are not a maid servant. I do know how much you care about him and have enormous compassion for his upbringing (which I would think is a lot of the reason why he is so ocd, controlling). It isnt his fault, but also you shouldnt have to live that way. Nor the children. It is a stress factory! Not healthy at all for you and your healing and making gains

Luv to you, Rose

[Big Mama]

Rose, Thank you for your honesty. If I would have had any idea he was like this before we married I sure as h*** would not have married him. The things he has us do are crazy, not as crazy as they used to be though.

I hope he goes to work tomorrow. We (me and the kids) have got to get away from him for a little bit. My middle child asked me tonight, "Mom do we have to clean again tomorrow". He has aspurgers and he is brutally honest. We will find something to do tomorrow, anything anywhere, but please no more cleaning.

[Big Mama]

Yeah, My H went to work so he's giving us a break.

That was not nice for me to say. But the truth is not always right.
Rose our house looks like a hotel when you first go in. Clean, vacumed, beds made, few things that would lead you to believe someone lives there.

He does make me a nervous wreck much like your brother does you. He is high strund and the tension and anxiety that is w/ in him can be felt like rays of sun, bad example, like rays of negative energy.

Why do these people like to flip out in the mornings. My H does that to often. Please don't screw my day up starting at 5:30 am w/ you **** issues. Well then that's my little flip out. Just saying thats all.

((((Mama)))) enjoy your day
You and the children live it up! Treat yourselves.... have hot chocolate or better hot fudge Sundaes! And buy yourself a big bouquet of beautiful flowers. You deserve it

[Big Mama]

I went to the library, talked to people, rented movies, drove around, now I'm home. It was good to get out. Now clean house and nap time. Yippee for nap time.

Brown beans, cornbread, and butter mild for supper. My southern favorite. Then I get to live in a house with oddles of gassy males. My least favorite part.

[avlady]

Does your husband do this when he's on the medication or did he just have a med change?I don't know how you can stand it.I'm not an unclean person but i do get to take breaks in housework, it's going to tale it's toll on you , you need to talk to him. i suppose he already know how you feel, I'd be going mental on him everyone has their boiling point. My son came home for 2 day and he;'s become a neat freak out there, he did dishes in the middle of the night and took everything out of the cupboards and cleaaned them all even if it didn't need cleaning, I'm wondering how long we'll think of letting him crash here for the nights,I hope it doesn't turn for the worse. pray for me I'll pray for you.

[Big Mama]

consider it done. I'll pray for you and your pray for me.

My H was on luvox and he always gave his family members a hard time because they have to take psy meds. (his mom, sister and brother, have OCD, PTSD, Manic Depression, and his brother is bipolar as well.) So he cannot accept that he is the same as they are. Since he gave them a hard time he can't imagine being guilty himself. That is his opinion.

My opinion is no one says when there a kid I want to grow up to have OCD. It has you and you deal the best you can. Taking madication for it is like taking medication for a heart condition, you need it, it doesn't make you flawed, you don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to, and quility of life is everything. So take your darn medicine.

The meds did help when he took them. Knowing that he would be reluctant to take them the Dr. gave him a very, very, low dosage. 25 mg of luvox. Generally by the end of 4 weeks you should be up to 200 mg. He quit at 50 mg. He just didn't want to take it. It was not that it had side affects or anything. That was just his choice.

My H has us pick dirty gravel out of the driveway, clean clear fly spit off the windows, we dust the globes on the lights as well as the light bulbs. He has a thing for these nasty stink bugs right now. We dump out the globes on the lights every other day. My house and car should be absolutely spotless. Towels hung a certin way, bed made a certin way, no stepping on the rugs in frount of the shower, (they will get wet) appliances pulledd out and cleaned under, and behind bi weekly. Clean slats on blinds individually bi weekly. He's nuts.

These things don't have to be done, they have to appear done. He often asks did you clean under the fridge today, or did you wash down the shower like I asked you. If I say yes as long as it is not really dirty (most of the time it's not) then he is good.

We see a T together and the T says the more out of control his enviorment is the more he seeks to contrlol what he can. Which is the things he can clean.