[jnt1989]

I went to see the movement disorder specialist I see for my medication for my Tourette Syndrome a while back for a check up. She told me it sounds like I have obsessive compulsive tendencies. She didn't actually say I have OCD, just tendencies. I got to thinking about that today and wondered what that means to have tendencies but not actually have OCD? Like, either you have OCD or you don't, right?

I have different things that I do that she made this statement about.
If I have a candy wrapper or a piece of paper sittin in front of me very long without throwing it away, I have to fold it neatly. If you crumple it up and leave it there in front of me, I will eventually pick it up, smooth it out, and neatly fold it.
When eating candy such as M&ms, Reese's pieces, skittles, anything in pieces like that, I have to eat them in an even number. Say I have 4 pieces. I have to split them in half, two on the right side of my mouth, two on the left, to chew them. If here is only one left when I get tithe end of the pack, I will not eat it. I will ask everyone with me if they want that last piece. If not, I will throw it away.
When eating anything long and skinny such as fence fries or green beans, I have to bite off two pieces of even length and chew one on each side.
My clothes ae color coordinated, but only what hangs up. I absolutely have to reorganize them if something is not with the right color group.
My Tupperware bowls have to be organized by shàpe. I have a drawer for cirçles, and a drawer for squares. If its in the wrong drawer, I will say quite loud so you know you did it wrong, "Circles and squares!"

I don't necessarily think anything bad will happen to me if I don't do hear things or something isn't done right, but it annoys me unil I fix it. I won't be able to stop thinking about it all day unless I fix it.

My books and movies are in alphabetical order on the shelf.

I went through a spell at a previous job where if I wasn't doing anything, I absolutely HAD to count the plastic bags hanging on the side of my work station. They had to be separated (cuz they were made where they were stuck together and you had to pull them apart like your typical grocery bags) and counted. If I was interrupted, I would have to start all over when I got a moment to stop between customers.

I used to count steps between the cracks in the pavement.
My volume has to be on a certain number or I will convince myself that it doesn't sound right.

I actually didn't tell her about a lot of these. Some of these I'm just coming up with now that I am sitting and thinking about it. I have a hard time thinking of these things when I'm actually in her office.

This one only happens once every Great once in a while, but used to be so bad I would cry for a long time until it finally stopped.
I have a thought. Once it was "what if my sister died or was terribly ill and could possibly die?" (Mind you, my sister was born with only one lung so this one really hit me hard cuz if something bad actually did happen, it would effect her twice as bad as myself or anyone else I have had a 'what if' about them dying.)
I had to go through very scenerio of what could happen, what I would do, how I would react. I can't stop until I have gone through every single scenerio until I am satisfied with the outcome. But the outcome could be anything from being admitted for tryi to kill myself because of my grief to rushing to a friend (who used to be my counselor) and them helping me deal with it. I even go through the different possible conversations I could have with each individual person in said scenerio.
I have done this with several different people. My parents have died in scenerio a, my grandparents, friends...

I haven't told her about those one. It hasn't happened in a really long time. I wanted to mention it because I was curious why I did it, but I didn't because I was afraid that she would try to get me to see a psych again. That just makes me nervous and I clam up when I have to see a psych, so I really was conflicted about whether I wanted to tell her or not.

Anyway, just wondered if anyone had any thoughts.
Don't know what I'm hoping for. Just... I don't know... Hoping I'm not alone...

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

You definitely sound like an OCDer. That final bit at the end of your post reminds me of me a lot, as does some of the other stuff. You're not alone. The whole scenario thing is something I do quite often without much control and sometimes without realising until I've already reacted to it; I will literally get upset or genuinely angry at things that HAVEN'T EVEN HAPPENED, and it's really frustrating, embarrassing, confusing, and a variety of other 'ings.

"I was afraid that she would try to get me to see a psych again." - But in a nut shell, assuming you're of appropriate age, not massively unstable, and your country's laws are similar enough to my own, you cannot be forced to see anyone you wish not to, so this fear is fairly unfounded; if she insists, you simply say no, assertively, and explain why you don't want it. Why do you clam up, do you know? Something you're scared of?

[jnt1989]

I really don't know why I clam up. I find it hard to be put on the spot and have to open up and talk about things.

The crying thing for me as well. This is all so overwhelming to find out I have OCD today. I thought it was just about overly washing hands/in that manner.

I'm excited to find out that I'm not alone (or the amount of coffee I drank I don't know)..

[jnt1989]

Haven't been on in a bit.
I emailed my doctor the other day for a refill on one of my meds. She said counting my tics was a part of OCD. I get so confused talking to her sometimes. We talk over email as much as we can because its a two hour drive for me.
She suggested upping my dose of sertraline. Well, I agreed to t it, but I got so confused by the end of the conversation that I just have up.
I don't know why, but lately I've been worrying about the scenarios coming back. I haven't thought about it since I mentioned it here, but the last couple days I just been a worried they are going to happen. It's like obsessing about obsessing. Does that make sense?