[Softballjunkie8]

Well to start of I have ocd, and I have been working on my issues for a minute!! My mom moved in with my dad, my fiancee and myself a while back, because she lost her job. Since moving in she has only contributed once for the electric bill. This is very upsetting to my fiancee, because he works full time, my father is ill, and I am a full time student. She also undermines my mental issues, and has very little understanding for ocd and panic attacks. I guess am torn between being a nice person, and not wanting to hurt her feelings, and getting really stressed about our current financial situation. Due to the added stress, I have been having more frequent panic attacks, and doing worse in school. Does anyone have any kind of advice on how I can tell her politely how I feel, while still getting the message across?? Thanks!!

[Grey Matter]

Hello Softballjunkie8. I hope I can help even a bit.

OCD is a really tricky thing to explain to people who have no prior knowledge of the disorder. Most people assume that OCD means, and only means, germaphobic, clean freak, etc. While some of us with OCD do have contamination fears, etc, it is not our only identifying feature.

I would say; get together with your mom. But not to do it within your home. Find a quiet space, a park, some where you two can be alone. Bringing yourselves out of the home environment makes it much easier to get talking and to be heard. It takes a lot of the stress away that is connected to the home and gives you the space to speak freely. When I first told my mom (mind you, I was seven), I said "Mom, I can't stop doing these things. I can't stop washing my hands and bleeding" (I am a skin picker). That was enough of a clue in to my mom.

As an adult know; I would maybe write her a letter. Maybe write what you want to tell her and read it in front of her. Explain what your OCD feels like and what it does to you and how it makes things, including relationships, difficult. Explain that panic attacks are unpleasant, and they are hard to get out of, and that you would really appreciate her support. Even offer to answer any questions she may have. That may make this easier.

I wish you well and I hope it all gets solved soon.