[Phobicperson]

On Friday I will finally be analyzed by a professional. And I'm so nervous about it. I'm quite certain I have OCD but what if the professional person says that I don't? Then what's causing me to behave like this? I can't stop thinking that I have OCD. It's I'm my mind 24/7. Every action I do is anazlyzed by me like, I do an action and I think: is this OCD? Does this mean I have OCD? Etc.
And also my nightly rituals of left right left right tap tap tap and always having to have my things in that position and that orientation and my paragraphing having to have an indentation of four spaces and always having my back to walls what is this if not OCD? What'll happen if the person says I don't have OCD? Then am I just crazy or super weird? What if the person says yes? What's gonna happen then? How will my parents react? Will they hate me for being such a burden to them? Will they think I'm just whining for attention? Will they hate me for wasting money? How about my friends? Will they treat me differently? Will they avoid me? Will they treat me like I'm made of emotional glass? If iI do CBT will it be painful? I'm scared of pain. I can't handle pain. Uctctcvtucyctftd okay am going to stop now bye bye sorry for any annoyance caused and thank you for reading...

[ocdwifeofsociopath]

how did it go?

[Miswimmy1]

Originally Posted by Phobicperson

What'll happen if the person says I don't have OCD? Then am I just crazy or super weird? What if the person says yes? What's gonna happen then? How will my parents react? Will they hate me for being such a burden to them? Will they think I'm just whining for attention? Will they hate me for wasting money? How about my friends? Will they treat me differently? Will they avoid me? Will they treat me like I'm made of emotional glass? If iI do CBT will it be painful?

I don't usually post in this forum, which is ironic because I know the most about OCD than any other disorder (as I used to have severe, severe, OCD). I'm going to try to give you as much advice as I can though...

First off, based on your description, I highly doubt that the test results will come back negative. It sounds like some bad OCD to me. If the test is positive, they will probably go over a plan for how you should treat it- involving therapy and/or medication. If you don't have a therapist or a pdoc, they will refer you.

I don't know how old you are, so I don't know what the reaction will be. But I do know that most parents just want the best for their children and will do whatever it takes. If it helps, ask them to think about it like a broken leg. If you had a broken leg, they would take you to the doctor and get a cast. In this case, the OCD is the broken leg, and the therapy/medication is the cast. It isn't shameful to be in therapy.

If your friends are really your friends, they won't judge you for having OCD. If they do, it's probably because they don't understand really what it is and how life impairing it can be. Just play it safe, and tell the people who you feel comfortable with. If people ask and you don't want to go into detail, simply say something like, the best way to help me is to not ask. There is nothing wrong with saying that, especially if telling them is going to just increase your anxiety. Because the OCD will get worse under stress.

And lastly, CBT. Well cbt is basically doing whatever you don't want to do. Over and over again. So yes, its painful at times. But would you rather have a few times of pain or have OCD for the rest of your life? Because the OCD will only continue to take more and more from you. It will get worse. Doing Cbt at first doesn't feel better. In fact it feels worse. But it gets easier. that's the trust.

PM me any time if you have questions or just want to vent. I'd be glad to help you as best as I can

[Phobicperson]

I'm not sure how it went, I keep stressing cause I know I missed out on a lot of things but I only know the results after a few weeks. Thanks for the replies I told one of my friends about this and she said "it's like you want to have it". Thanks for the advice it helped

[Grey Matter]

I don't think that was fair of your friend to say at all. No one WANTS to have OCD. It can be down right crippling (as it was for my brother). No one WANTS to have to preform rituals, no one wants to be obsessive about thoughts or have intrusive thinking. It's awful and hard. And your friend should have more compassion than that. It's like telling someone with a cold "It's like you want to have this cold". Of course you don't! It sucks, to be put bluntly!

I am not a professional. I have had OCD since I was 7 years old. And from what you're telling me, it sounds like OCD is a high possibility. Especially since you cannot stop thinking about it. If you DON'T have OCD, try not to panic! They will give you referrals to other specialists and it will all be solved.

Please be easy on yourself and take care of yourself. No one will ignore you here.

[Phobicperson]

Thanks for the reply I'll try...