I'll write down symptoms that I've had from around 7-16 years old;

- My symmetrical even order of doing things = 1221, 2112, 2112, 1221. (sometimes it can be 1221, 2112, 2112, 1221, 2112, 1221, 1221, 2112, 2112, 1221, 1221, 2112, 1221, 2112, 2112, 1221).

- Making a list for my school work, spending excessive time making an insane organization system when I accomplished nothing in reality..*

- When swinging things with a rope or something similar, I would swing but then have to swing that opposite way an equal number of times to feel satisfied.

- SEVEAR; If I turn around, *I have to turn around the opposite way in something similar to my 'symmetrical even, order' to prevent something bad from happening in the very near future. *(even knowing that it's ridiculous).

- Feel the need to have my bedroom fan on while I sleep. Also felt the need to leave it on and never turn it off, even when I'm away. Agitation and anger when *someone turns it off. Very very upset when it was thrown away. Resorted to white noise on my iPod while I sleep.*

- Shoes must be double knotted, shoes must also be the same exact tightness.

- Remember kicking a rock all the way to my house from school. If I didn't kick it while I was walking, I would have to go back and kick it (even while walking with friends). If I kicked it to the other side of the road, I had to cross the road and kick it to my required destination ahead.

- Weird one I find extremely annoying if i don't make it; When walking, I would look at distant objects in my pathway and try to make my right foot hit it. Then the left etc..

- When I see foot prints on the ground, I have to make sure which ones are mine so I loot under my foot, then (what makes me think I'm really going insane) I look at the other foot.. And then match my walking with those foot prints..

- Always have to write on paper and then type it on the computer. Even though it seems more logical to type on the computer first. (all my school essays, everything. Even what I'm writing right Now has to be on paper first. People always wonder why I'm the only one in class writing with out a computer on the first day. Especially the teachers.

- MESSED UP ONE: THE THOUGHTS THAT YOU HAVE WHERE YOU REMEMBER THAT REALITY HAD ALREADY HAPPENED AND THEN SOMETHING REALLY BAD HAPPENS AND YOU DIE!

- While stepping (either going up or down the stairs), I would have to make sure that my right (or left) foot reached the last step. If not, I would have to walk back a few steps up the stairs until I got it right.

- While walking (when I think of it and can't stop), I would make sure that I stepped on the concrete cracks or where the lines are (where the two stone slabs meet). left, then right, etc..

- In middle school, I had a constant blinking problem where I couldn't stop frequently blinking really fast when I thought about blinking.

- Not being able to sleep unless I spent a long time inspecting for spiders or mosquitoes. Had to block key hole with tissue even though I know that it's ridiculous. Even knowing that there is nothing there all the time.

- In Ireland, I had to block all the key wholes with tissues, inspect all rooms for wasps or bees and close all doors (basically quarantine the house in the summer at times when I was not outside).

- Can not, under any circumstances, leave my sisters door open while I was watching t.v. It must stay shut which resulted from me always having to tell her to close her door because the light shines in my eyes or because she is distracting while watching t.v. Even when I'm the only one in the house and I walk past the t.v, the door must remain closed.

- From Ireland until now, I can not study on my desk. I have to study in the floor, even if my back hurts because of it. (if it hurts severally, I would have to use my desk but then quickly studied on my desk as the pain subsided).

- Can not study in my room unless I really need to. Light bulb must be replaced as it is too 'yellow' so must be white as if I'm in school. (freaked out in front of my mom because of it). Still having trouble finding a white light bulb.

- Studying on the floor leads to more irrational thoughts. HAD to study in the garage or shed or kitchen table as I've thought about studying when I was a kid on the kitchen table. Could not resist. Also had to study outside in the cold from too much talking of family members, even when they started to be quiet or stayed being quiet. Could not resist studying in the shed when it was clearly too cold either.

- Tapping, blinking, remote buttons, moving hands, putting up thumbs in my 'standard order'. Could not mess up or had to restart all over again (give examples). Remote buttons: Every time I press a button on the remote, I have to press the opposite button and if I forget, I have to press all in my 'standard order' very hard on the buttons until I feel satisfied.

- Counting money had to be in specific order: in fives put in piles first, then rows in order due to type of coin.

- Can not leave unattended light on even knowing that I don't care much about how much coal is used or how much money it costs for electricity.

- Self defeating acts unless not satisfied with being unable to fulfill.*

- After a kid in my school shot himself, I could not sleep all night. The next day after, my teacher said "hands up if you could bearly sleep last night". Everyone put up their hands so I felt much relief. The next night, I thought that it was ok to think about it until an image of his dead decaying body came into my mind at the same time I was on the edge of my bed. Til this day, I have to sleep with my back against the wall in case the body appears behind my back in my bed. (even though I know that it's completely ridiculous..)*

- Can not leave the house without touching cat. (when thinking about it).

- Always looking at the end of my bed, under my bed and in the closet before going to bed to make sure that there's no murderer (even knowing that it's ridiculous).

- At work, I have to clean trucks and truck tanks perfectly and it takes me a very long time even though I don't give a crap about criticism. If I don't have enough time to do it, I feel very agitated. It once took me 7 hours to do a 4 hour job.

- Had to cut the grass clockwise at it was neat, even knowing that I would screw up the belt or had to get under the blades and take the grass out eventually as it builds up.

- Fear of plane crashing into house when thinking of audio recorders (explain this).*

- Could not scribble out mistakes made in pen. Had to use tip-ex until it was unavailable.

- Frequently saying no to invitations, sports or enjoyable things in self defeating way.

- Never ever eating the last piece on my plate. Today I ate a sandwich and threw the last piece of the two slices away like always. Many times, every time.. Weird..

- Always opening the curtains of the tub to make sure that there's no murderer or dead body. Even when brushing teeth, I have to make sure that I can see the tub through the mirror 'to make sure'.

- Splitting my mmns into separate colours and then eliminating the odds, then eating in groups or putting them back together again. (both work fine).

- Always wiping my mouth with a napkin after each bite of food. (even if I don't get anything on me).

- Thinking that having long hair makes people think negatively towards me or as if I should be hated and killed. (shaving head soon).

- Wearing sunglasses when I have the chance in fear of judgement.

- Can not write on one piece of paper, there must be more underneath (tens, maybe 30-40 pieces of paper will do to make me satisfied). (example). : when doing a test a few weeks ago, I forgot to bring my stack of blank paper so I was given one piece which made me very upset. Before that, when I asked one of my teachers If I could have some writing paper, I took a whole bunch and he got offended. Everyone then started asking me why I was taking so much. I can't write on one piece of paper alone.. HOW DO I EVEN EXPLAIN THIS TO PEOPLE?..

- Not satisfied unless I type out or write my work out perfectly (hand writing), then throw the original away also, if I mess up too badly, I must throw the paper away even if there's tonnes of space left as well as a blank on the back.

- Have to put candy on separate sides of my mouth to make it even or closer to even. If I have chewing gum, I frequently try to split it evenly in my mouth and chew on each equal side.

- Weird one: Sometimes I would think about my parents dying. It would be my mom or dad. Only once where it was both. I would cry hysterically without controlling it. There has been one time where I cried about my dad during a T.V break, and then back to normal. *(not satisfied until I have enough).*

- Many chair adjustments every time I leave my desk. Its Nice to have my chairs welded to the desks at school.

- extreme perfectionism (this one is the worst of all). The fact that I have this is completely ruining my life. I tried to get back on track by starting from the bottom. The first thing on my mind was to vaccum my room so I could get onto everything else that is important. Then my mom told me "if you're going to vacuum, then vacuum the sitting as well". Little does she know that that has completely ruined everything. My chances of becoming successful in life even. Now I need more time to recover... It sucks..

Does anyone that has ocd also live with anyone else that has OCD or OCD like tendencies? My whole family was on a reality T.V show because I was annoyed that my mom would walk into my room almost every night at MIDNIGHT and vacuum my room! I'm certain that my step dad has OCPD. IT'S HELL!!

[optimize990h]

Just dropping by to leave a note that read your post. It seems you need a therapist/counsellor eventually to help you overcome what you described. I don't know how receptive your parents would be to this idea. Have you told them about this? You express yourself quite well and I hope you can discuss things with your parents about your mental health.

Thanks above. I'm going to see a therapist on Friday. I'm just very impatient..

It looks like OCD isn't very common here.. I knew that i was weird..

[Maven]

I have severe OCD, but I am better than I used to be. I'll try to leave a longer response the next time I'm on the computer (could be tomorrow, could be a couple or a few days), because it's 5:27 a.m. and I haven't been to bed yet! Just want to let you know you're not alone, and even severe OCD can be improved (and hopefully mastered--I haven't done that yet, so I'm not saying it can be mastered without personal proof).

[Norenoekkitang]

Wow!! I had many similar tendencies when I was 6-12! Some have persisted even to now in various forms though. I will share all of the ones that relate to yours before sharing some of my "unique" ones.

Your order of 1221 2112 2112 1221... IS EXACTLY WHAT I DO!!! If I touch something with my right hand, then I must touch it with my left to be fair. But then, my right hand touched it first, so I must start another set of touches where my left touches first. But then, my right hand still touched it first in this new sum of sequences! So I repeat again starting with my left hand. This would apply to everything, and I still sometimes hum it mentally using two different pitches. I overcame the compulsion by learning to accelerate my touching and result in both hands on the surface simultaneously. I reasoned that this would be infinite touches, and that any consequence of excess touches would be dwarfed by the immensity of infinite touches. Now I have no desire to work this pattern into physical actions. My familiarity with the pattern brings me joy now, as I'm really interested in fractals and calculus. This sequence is called the Thue-Morse sequence, and it is the fairest sequence I can come up with.

If something is loose (like a handle of a cupboard), I would get irritated because it has to potential to be jarred more times in one direction than the other. It is another variable to be concerned about. I would thusly try to tie my shoes as tight as possible. The same tightness was important as well, to preserve the symmetrical look.

I used to keep all sorts of things like clothing tags and candy wrappers because I felt intensely sorry for them (good thing my sympathies never quite stuck with organic waste), and rocks that I kicked down the road were no exception. I still probably have a few of those rocks lying around from when I couldn't let them go.

The one where you make your feet hit distant objects... I have similar things with impossible tasks, and when I don't feel like I spent enough effort in concentrating on it, I will fail myself and feel awful.

I have the exact opposite sentiment about sidewalk cracks. I had to avoid them, but in addition, I had to traverse each concrete block in the same number of steps.

Your pressing of all the remote buttons in standard order very hard until you feel satisfied is completely understandable. You lose track of how to correct it (and eventually feel that even correcting it is not good enough because it has disrupted the concept of "the first time an action is done is more important than the second" and the corrections don't 100% make up for the error) and decide to just overwhelm your thoughts with infinite pressing so that you can start over because you still have to do it. I have the same kind of resetting behaviour for most of my symptoms.

I also had a blinking problem. In addition, I used to shake my head to flick the hair out of my eyes. I had to keep feeling the slightly dizzy, brain-against-head feeling. This would result in 5-17 head shakes about 1-3 seconds apart. This has made spontaneous reoccurances (once even in grade 12). The annoying part was that due to the direction of my hair part, the shaking only occured in one way. Sometimes I would kind of shake my head back and forth just to satisfy the evenness a bit.

When I was scared of things (sometimes my brain would just invent scary things. Dead bodies are terrifying), I also had see everything, by line of sight, or by mirror. This made shampooing really scary. After watching Grave Encounters II, I am still scared of opening a door (especially elevators, like in the movie, which only have one way out) and seeing a scary place.

I think I understand why you fear planes crashing into the house when thinking about audio recorders. I believe that correlations between things will happen, regardless if they are causal or coincidental. It is this and the fact that I irresistably scare myself when I consciously don't want to that things like this arise for me. I would probably fight myself in my head while mentally humming the 1221 pattern.

For the candy thing, it's only with candies that I hold in my mouth for decent lengths of time. My cheek changes in texture, which I find an irresistable need to balance and/or chew on. I chew all my hard candies now.

When I was 2, I cried for no reason, stating that it was because I just felt like crying. My parents were bewildered. They probably don't remember this though. I have definitely cried for the sake of it more times after that. It makes me wonder sometimes if any crying I do is real because I tend to exaggerate my own emotions (I suppose to validate that I have them, which is silly). I can stop crying 99% of the time, which concerns me a bit.

Now I'll list most of the things I consider less directly related to your stories:

I imagine that bad things will happen if I do not meet a criteria (I still do this now). For example, if I do not make it to the elevator in 7 steps, my girlfriend will die (I usually think of some pretty bad things, but it's like when you're in the dark and you try not to think of scary things, but you can't help trying to imagine the worst). In response, I usually pleadingly think "just kidding!" multiple times, but always in an odd number so that the negations don't cancel each other out and leave the original problem of potential failure. Sometimes I even offer a consequence of less magnitude that I am more comfortable with experiencing.

I will read something over and over and over again until I have grasped it at an overly complete level. Even now, when I watch foreign shows, I will sometimes rewind to make sure I have recalled reading every last word of the subtitles. If I read some words more than others, I will get frustrated, knowing there is almost no way of keeping track of which ones I've read more than others, and will probably perform resetting behaviour multiple times, resulting in pausing the video and reading the same thing a lot.

Cleaning habits (that one disappeared fairly quickly): I would wash my hands, and then wash the tap, then the doorknob, so that I can keep my hands clean when exiting the bathroom. If I didn't I would be compelled to wash my hands again.

If something protrudes (such as my nose, or my toenails), I really did not like sliding it against the pointy end. If I rubbed something on my toenail in the direction of my ankle, or rubbed my nose upward, I would have to rub it the other, "smooth" way many times to smooth over the feeling that I had disrupted a smooths surface.

I would imagine that my feet had imaginary straight lines coming out of the left and right sides, and from the toe and heel, extending horizontally. I would be compelled to avoid having these lines be trampled by heaving moving objects (mainly cars). I would have to angle my feet so the line sank under the ground, so the car passed over it.

I would also imagine a line coming from my body (like Tron), but it was flexible like string. If I entered somewhere, I would have to exit in a way such that the line would not get caught on anything on the way out. If I walked around a pole 8 times, I would have to untangle the line by walking around it 8 times the other way.

I would feel a slight projection of my "aura" out of my sides, and if it got caught on something (any object, really), I would have to smooth over the disruption by doing something similar to the smoothing over thing I described earlier.

I hate getting any part of my body sticky. This is what made apples and other unsliced fruit annoying for me. Stickiness resulted in immediate hand washing. Don't even get me started on maple syrup. It gets on places you're sure it never touched.

When I was little, I was obsessed with rainbow order. If I had an orange and a green duotang for example, I would get made because not only did it not start with the first colour (red), but some colours were skipped.

I am an intense perfectionist myself. But having failed so many of my behaviours (we can't do 1221 forever, can we?), I kind of developed that resetting behaviour, which serves as a kind of a cheap workaround. I feel like I constantly fail and put zero effort into things because there's no point in starting such a potentially imperfect task. It could also explain why sometimes I give up thinking about something because I just dismiss it as too complicated, and make rash actions. Other times, I will think agonizingly before making a decision.

I am really glad I've found someone who has/had similar urges. Cheers! Make an account here and PM me if you want to discuss! I've been through some of this in some degree and have never had a psychiatric evaluation.

[MusicLover82]

Your compulsions are very different than mine (my compulsion is to call people and seek reassurance from close friends and family when I'm anxious), but I understand feeling the need to do something a certain way to alleviate anxiety. My anxiety is often unbearable, but I see a psychiatrist and a psychologist and we are working on getting it under control (I just started a new medication which is starting to help). There is a book that helped me a lot: The OCD Workbook by Bruce M. Hyman. Best wishes!