Obsession about Face.

Several years I had jaw surgery to correct chronic TMD. Well the surgery left me with nerve damage. Now the skin on my face sags due to lack of nerve signals. This problem became evident after the surgery. My face was fine before.
I am obsessed about my face. I now look like I am 70. I obsess about my appearance
The way I look never leaves my thoughts all day every day. I always try to turn away from people so they only see the "better" side.
I could borrow money to see a plastic surgeon but I am afraid he also will do me damage.
I just dont know how to stop thinking about how bad I look. I dont know how to accept the fact that I look way older than I am.
If anyone else has obsessed over the same kind of thing I would appreciate your advice. Please no pat answers. This is so painful for me.

I'm so sorry. I have no answers, pat or otherwise. Except maybe you could do some research to find a really good plastic surgeon, who would be able to help without making things worse.

Thanks Traveling Lady. I have done research. I have a list of names. But I do not actually know anyone who has had cosmetic surgery done. I would want to ask a person of their experience and recommendations. I am extremely self conscious. I would do the surgery if I could get a good physician.

I know what you mean. Unless no one has said, and I haven't noticed, I don't know any people who have even had plastic surgery either.

Maybe a doctor might suggest some folks you could talk to?

Thanks. I appreciate that you took the time to reply and make suggestions.

Dear sinkerseeking,

Many years ago I developed a condition known as Bells Palzy. It comes on instantly, without warning, and the right side of my face was paralyzed. I had to wear a eyepatch to keep dirt out of my eye because I couldn't blink. I drooled constantly because I could not keep my lips together on that side of my face. The nerve running down that side of my jaw was so painful that it felt like my face was on fire.

The most awful part is that no one knows how long it will last-for some people it is a lifetime condition. I cried every day, terrified that it would never go away. I woke up oe morning six weeks later and it was gone. My face was normal again. But I always live with the fear that it might come back and this time it wouldn't go away. So I can honestly identify to a certain degree with how you must be feeling.

If you do opt for surgery, I reccomend that you speak to the people at LifeStyle Lift first. Their procedure is non invasive and they may be able to help. If you decide to go for the invasive kind of surgery, I would suggest a couple of things.

First, make sure that the surgeon you chose is Board Certified. This is very important. Also ask if you can see before and after pictures. And ask for referances-people he has operated on that you can speak to. If he refuses to do either of these things, head for the door. If you do find one that you think is okay, research him (or her) thougholy. Find out if he has ever had a malpractice suit. Call the AMA and check out his credentials.
Don't be taken in by a lot of BS or smooth talk and make sure this is someone you could trust. If anything about the doctor or his credentials make you uneasy-listen to your gut and look elsewhere.

I know you are in pain right now-that it must break your heart every time you look in the mirror. But there are solutions out there for you-just make sure you put the time and effort into checking a doctor out before you allow him anywhere near you with a scalpel. And please keep us updated. If you need to talk, PM me.

Best of luck and many s, T&S

Tea & Sympathy--thank you for the very helpful ideas. I will do some more research. And not pressure myself. Also, listen to my gut feeling. All these are important.