[bellaviolet]

it's been a long time since i've posted... got a good grasp on my ocd and kept it for a while. but it's been kind of killing me the last few months and i'm seeing everything fall apart all the time. busted my butt, got promoted at work a few weeks ago, already obsessing and thinking i'm going to lose my job/apartment/life any day. have been out of t and off meds for several years and i thought i had the whole thing beat. there really is no cure though, gotta stay vigilant i guess. how do i kill these thoughts? i worked so hard for the things i have now and i can't enjoy them. fcking thoughts come up with everything i do.

p.s. not sure i'm looking for advice as much as commiseration and empathy. family doesn't really get it so i don't have much of an outlet.

[Maven]

I'm sorry you're going through this, bellaviolet. I know OCD is a B****. I have dealt with it since I was a kid, really, and sometimes it's better and sometimes it's worse. It seems to usually be worse. Meds help for me, but I really hate being on them. Off them, my panic disorder (something else I have) is strong, and I can't be like that. I really would like a cure in our lifetimes, but even if they finally come up with one during my lifetime, I'll probably be old.

[bellaviolet]

Originally Posted by Maven

I'm sorry you're going through this, bellaviolet. I know OCD is a B****. I have dealt with it since I was a kid, really, and sometimes it's better and sometimes it's worse. It seems to usually be worse. Meds help for me, but I really hate being on them. Off them, my panic disorder (something else I have) is strong, and I can't be like that. I really would like a cure in our lifetimes, but even if they finally come up with one during my lifetime, I'll probably be old.

thanks maven... it's so frustrating because there was a stretch of a couple years where it was totally under control and not severe at all. now it's been getting worse and worse, and i don't want to go back to where i was 5 or 6 years ago, because that was hell. and it is almost impossible to make my loved ones understand what it's like. they all seem to think i have control over the thoughts and am just being negative.

a cure would be a dream come true. for now i'm starting to think i may need to go back on meds and see if it helps. back to t, too.

[BeaFlower]

We seem to be in a quite similar situation...in the last year and a half my OCD was quite under control, I had less compulsions and I was less scared by my obsessions. In this period it's getting worse . I try to ignore the obsessions, like I was learning to do, but most of the time I can't. I wonder if our symptoms are getting worse for some reason, or if it's 'normal' to have up and down. However, I hope that your 'up' comes soon

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Oh believe me, I empathize - I know aaall too well what OCD does, because it screws with me, too. Stay safe.