[nushi]

Hello, I hope everybody's fine…

I'd like to ask something, maybe somebody knows, maybe…


I've been having psychological problems, OCD, since I was a child. But me & my family didn't recognize it until it exacerbated in 2000 when I started high school. And now it's 14 years later… 2014, & everything is just getting worse!

I've got Pure Obsessions, OCD, bipolar, perfectionism, delusions of persecution, & I don't know what else.

Yes, I went to doctors… I went to over a dozen psychiatrists since 2000, but here in Egypt most of them seem to only give me drugs, & no psychotherapy, that I've given up on going to them or finding one who makes psychotherapy anymore…

I've even searched for online therapists, but they all seem so expensive. Like the least is 80$ per email!

I've even said to myself I'll make psychotherapy with myself by searching over the internet & reading psychcentral & other sites… But I just can't seem to keep on depending on myself & reading! I always say like I'd start searching & reading by myself from tomorrow, like 1/2 hour everyday, but then after a week I stop & I never continue, I don't why!

14 years of my life have been wasted, & I don't have a life anymore, no friends no family no degree no nothing, & I can't find proper therapy! Or is it that I don't have enough will to find therapy? Or is it that my OCD keeps stopping me from continuing to find proper therapy? Or what or what or what? I don't know what to do anymore with my life…

Does anybody here have this OCD problem of never continuing something, like always starting something & then stopping & starting & stopping & starting & stopping that you can't get something done?! That you can't even find therapy for your problems?! Like you're stuck in a vicious endless circle?!

[Travelinglady]

Hey, Nushi! I'm sure some folks have this same sort of problem. I just want to say that even in the United States psychiatrists do not do therapy anymore. They just ask a few questions and deal with drug prescriptions. To get therapy, we have to go to some sort of counselor or therapist such as a clinical or counseling psychologist (Ph.D. or Psy.D.) or a clinical social worker (M.S.W.) Do such folks exist in Egypt?

[CANDC]

Dear nushi, my heart reaches out to you and all the people of Egypt for the unrest that is leading to so many deaths and high stress level
Think about how water solves the problem of getting around a boulder. It does not pound it or try to flow over it, it goes around it. Whole river courses change to get around an impediment.
Maybe another tactic will be more fruitful. Rather than focus on the ailment, focus on little things that might ease the stress and lift your spirits. I think of all the oppressed on earth and know that I am not alone nor are you. suffering is the human condition. What uplifts us is going beyond the human condition.
Little things to help

here are OCD success stories OCD Success Stories - Forums at Psych Central

Healthy diet low on sugar and possibly carbohydrates depending on what food available. Eat enough protein that helps

Devote a part of your day to helping others either in meditation or prayer or service to others. Our biggest problem is we take our problems so seriously. What is the peril or perils that humanity faces in the next 25-50 years. This can shrink our problems to a manageable size.
Keep coming back to PC and sharing and growing. all the best is already within you, finding a way to let it flow is our big challenge.

[richeye]

Hi Nushi,

I know what it's like to feel that I've lost years of my life battling an illness. I also know that my illness can make me feel that nobody likes me, that i'm exhausting everybody, that i'm a 'has-been'. Just remember that you are in the right place in that you are seeking help. You are not alone.

[Perna]

I found this article interesting: OCD in Egyptian Adolescents: The Effect of Culture and Religion | Psychiatric Times

but I do not know if you can "use" it to help you in some way. Maybe you should try to go to school abroad or something? It could be how "close" you are to your problems and how long you have had them, etc. are making things harder for you to get help. I would try to think outside the box, go somewhere else or look in a totally different direction that is unusual/not familiar to you.

[strangeskies]

I am in Egypt and I went through the same as you with Egyptian psychiatrists. You can read more details if you read my other post on psychcentral.

[nushi]

Thank you SO much everyone for all those beautiful & supporting messages...

Dear Travelinglady, I can't thank you enough for this info. Yes indeed, perhaps I'm looking for the wrong professionals all this long. I'll start looking instead for psychologists

Dear CANDC, thank you A LOT for your inspiring words. Yes, I'll start trying Yoga & mind meditation, perhaps it works for me. And by the way, you're so true about caring for others problems & humanity's ailments instead of only focusing on our own personal problems. By the way, I happen to be a revolutionary activist in Egypt here, maybe 'cause the revolution has ultimately failed here that increased my depression & thus my anxiety & OCD; but by keeping up following political events & participating in demonstrations (although they've decreased now a lot) that definitely like you said, gives me something other than my OCD to think about

Dear richeye, I can see that you suffer from my same diagnosis PO I pray for you & for us both & for all those who are plagued with PO. It's really comforting to find others like me here in the forum

Dear Perna, thank you so much for your message. Yes, I definitely have to try thinking out of the box, try to change my environment I'm planning on searching for a university abroad, but first I have to finish my Master's here, which I'm so afraid to get stuck in it like forever (I'm already stuck in it for over 6 years now)

Dear strangeskies, I'm glad to find somebody from Egypt here That's a + here in the forums, we could help each other find lots of things here. If I hopefully find a good psychotherapist I'll definitely tell you

[strangeskies]

Yeah, don't worry, you're not alone. I searched on google for posts with the word 'egypt' on psychcentral and that's how I found your post, and a bunch of others too. You can do the same, just write:
"egypt site:forums.psychcentral.com"
in the google search box. The "site:somewebsite.com" limits the search to that website.

There are others like us, many like us.
Life in Egypt is rough and mental illness is kind of a luxury that people can't afford. Mental health support is not developed here, as many people are struggling to find a job, a home, a medicine or money to treat physical illness... it's kind of a luxury.

People just tell: snap out of it. Even psychiatrists say the same too. "I give you pills, what more do you want?".

But we are very lucky that we are born in this time and that we have families to support us, that we were able to learn English and have computers and internet. At the past they would just put us in abasseya hospital and forget about us.

I have quit looking for treatment from Egypt. I went to psychiatrists from 2005 to 2011, then I quit cold-turkey. The pills put 43 kg on top of me, the doctors blamed me, my family shamed (and still shames) me, it only made my life worse to seek treatment. Just one day I realized that, I am spending money on pills and psychiatrists to make my life worse and make myself fat and unhealthy (with the pills) that didn't help anything with my psychological state. So I quit, near to the 2011 revolution. It was like I made a revolution in my own life, hah.

I am studying and looking for a job, and my goal is to move out of Egypt. I'm trying to make it on my own.

Anyway, I'm not going to rewrite everything, I wrote most of this on my other post. Just remember, you're not alone, there are many others like us who are lost in finding help here in Egypt as the living conditions are grim and many things are a luxury, and we are lucky to born in this time; in the past things were more tough, we have easier and better life than kings and queens did. It's very tough and very lonely for someone with mental illness, but we do have priviliges too.

Just try to relax and exist without carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders. Good luck.

[nushi]

Dearest strangeskies I can't thank you enough for this SO beautiful message ♥

Yes definitely you're right, I also have to look to the bright side. I mean we've got the internet, & living in Egypt is better yet than conditions in many other countries across the world. And perhaps, even outside psychiatrists concentrate only on giving drugs, even in the US. That's why I'm gonna start focusing on searching for psychologists instead, maybe they'll be much better, especially that they want to prove themselves deserving of customers besides drug-giving psychiatrists I guess

Anyway, I also plan to go out of Egypt. But my family keeps reminding me that this is not easy & I shouldn't only depend on that, 'cause I have to try being a uniquely successful person here to get an opportunity to travel abroad.

Actually sometimes in my bed, to distract myself away from anxiety-driving thoughts & concerns about life problems, I dream about going to Japan, or going back to Saudi Arabia especially Madina which is SO quiet & beautiful, or going to Alaska & living among Native Americans in the snowy mountains

Yes, indeed mental health is a luxury in Egypt even though I think many Egyptians suffer from it, but they simply can't afford to treat it. Perhaps that's one of the reasons why there's a serious problem in the effective economic production of Egyptians, 'cause they don't give enough care for something so important as mental health that could boost the happiness & thus production of many Egyptians!

I still take pills since 2000 until now I'm especially stuck with Seroxat. I'm not daring to pull off from it, 'cause I'm afraid that it might make me much worse, though I'm not sure of that 'cause I've never taken it off for as long as I remember

But thank God we've got the internet to read & search for self-help articles & find other people like us ♥

Oh, by the way, I have to recommend this Yahoo Group for you:
https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/maaan2007/

It's EXTREMELY helpful for finding suitable jobs & even finding great courses, scholarships, events... etc. It's just amazing

[strangeskies]

You're welcome, and thank you for the link.

[seltsambpd]

I have been also diagnosed with OSD several years ago but I think I am not obsessive now (or so I think).
I have been diagnosed with BPD now instead but I can relate to many things you said, especially the "I stop and never continue" part.
Actually It is a little strange for me to find people in Egypt that discuss mental disorders, I thought that as an Egyptian I will continue to live alone with my condition without finding anyone who can speak out about mental illness in general. It is kind of a Taboo here in Egypt and the luxury that strangeskies mentioned is right too.
Best wishes to you all

[nushi]

I'm so glad we found each other strangeskies & seltsambpd ♥♥♥

No we are NOT ALONE... But the sad thing in this, is that we found each other here 'cause we know good English & we have the luxury to have the internet, & positive culture to search for such issues without embarrassment over the internet, knowing that this culture in Egypt about mental illness being craziness, luxury, or even devil & Gin sorcery is just plain silly, inhumane, & illogical

I also have BPD seltsambpd, but the pure obsessions are just overwhelmingly unbearable How did your obsessions go away? Did you see a good doctor (what's his name)? Or did it just go away on its own? Or did you follow some successful technique?

I hope one day we'll be able to organize ourselves to fight this negative culture in Egypt & give a helping hand to the poor & ill-cultured people who are not as luck as us to know that they're not alone, they're not crazy outcasts from the society, & they're definitely not bewitched by Genies

[strangeskies]

I have BPD too.