[Lik3]

My OCD is acting up. I wake up every night trying to find information on movies concerning infidelity. I wonder what will happen during the movie, but I cannot find the answers that I so seek. It is getting better, but sometimes I feel like I am losing my mind. Does prayer and listening to Christian music really help? I am looking for the spoilers of the book, which I did and it gives me great comfort.

I have obsessions about fictional characters who commit infidelity and the effect it has on spouses. Interestingly enough, the adulterers are always females and the hurt spouses are always male. I will never know why I have these thoughts. I feel alone. Does it matter why I have those thoughts? Keep in mind that I am not in a relationship. I have never cheated or never cheat been cheated on. I have no idea how painful infidelity is therefore. I cannot watch a tv show or movie without wondering if a female character is committing infidelity. Sexual scenes are what I find disturbing, especially if the woman gets caught cheating. It scares me that I go to the same websites only to find the answers I so seek. The odd thing is I have never seen the movie, which is based on a book that I never read.

It is truly sad since this past weekend it stressed me out to the point where I wake up early in the morning for minutes to hours trying to find spoilers of the movie and of the book. I somehow feel relief after finding the answers to the book, but the movie is based on the book. I have no idea what to do and it worries me. I wish I could face my fears and automatically stop what I am doing. What should I tell my therapist about this? I take medication for both bipolar and anxiety and for a while, it worked.

Now I realize how much I truly hate OCD. I struggle with acceptance including ignoring the thoughts. I also deal with avoidance a lot. Can avoidance be healthy even for an OCD sufferer such as myself? Should I just turn the tv off, not go to the movies, or not read a book? I don't want to do that but it scares me that I cannot even entertain myself randomly. This is sad and scary.

I feel lonely and I have few people to talk to about this. My mother has been told to pray about it or drink something that relaxes me. Will that work, I mean prayer? I even tried to discuss or explain how OCD works. I gave her the example of red cubes where I obsess over the red cubes, which bother me. I spend a lot of time avoiding the red cubes only to perform a compulsion such as drawing pictures of clouds to relieve the pain. My question also is, how do get out of the OCD cycle?

[bluekoi]

Lik3, Before you see your therapist, write down a list of your concerns. You can hand the therapist your list and together you can find solutions to what's bothering you and ways to cope. The therapist should be able to give you techniques to help you channel your obsessive thoughts in to something more neutral. You should also let your doctor know how you are feeling. Your medications may need to be adjusted.