[freespirit37]

I've never been diagnosed with OCD. I have some OCD behaviors but they don't interfere with my functioning. I think they help.

For instance, I am a minimalist. I don't like a lot of stuff. I only buy what I need. My only splurges are makeup, skincare, haircare products, coffee and good food when I can afford it.

Moving is always easy, because I can fit all of my belongings in my car.

I throw things out and give things away regularly. Sometimes I regret it because I realize I need something later, like a certain kind of makeup. I've given myself a time-out from throwing things away right now. I'll wait until I move again.

In order for me to cook a meal, the kitchen has to be completely clean. I have to wash all the dishes, wipe the counters, and sweep the floor. If the kitchen is a mess, there is no way I can focus on preparing food.

I like wide open spaces, and I HATE clutter. I have a few decorations in my house and most of the stuff that is out is stuff that I use. I hate it when a table is completely covered in useless knicknacks and then I have no place to put papers, office supplies, my phone, laptop, you know, important stuff.

If I am really stressed and can't calm down, I find that cleaning and organizing helps me. Last night I decided to mend some clothes. My sewing basket was a mess. The threads were all tangled up. I took everything out, and found the thread spools I needed for mending. When I finished mending, I rearranged the entire sewing basket. I separated the spools into different plastic baggies. I remember feeling so peaceful as I was sorting my spools of thread.

Organizing & sorting things is really fun for me. I should do it more often. Not everything has to be perfectly sorted and organized all the time, and I do let things go and get messy, but it always feels better when things are organized.

I wasn't always like this. My parents are huge packrats. I grew up in a very messy house and didn't know that it was messy. I was a packrat as a young teenager. I had this idea that I couldn't throw away anything except paper trash because of the environment. So I kept all my empty deodorant & hairspray bottles in drawers. I kept all my magazines in boxes. I really liked my stuff back then. I used to go through it, sort it, and admire it because it was MINE, but I didn't throw any of it away.

One day, when I was 16, I got out a box of my magazine and proudly showed them to a friend of mine. She said, "You're a packrat." I didn't even know what a packrat was but thought maybe what I was doing wasn't normal.

After that I started periodically going through my stuff and throwing things away every six months. So I became less attached to my stuff.

At age 30 I married a compulsive hoarder. That was a disaster. Our divorce was final last year. I lived with my parents for a couple years prior to my divorce and the mess was really hard to tolerate. Especially when my mother expected me to constantly clean her messes when I was also working and paying rent, and paying my own bills.

Now I am super **** about my own apartment. I like having control over my personal space because I haven't been in control of that for most of my life. The only people allowed in my apartment are my son and my sponsor. My mom would love to come in here and critique, and buy a bunch of stupid, flowery decorations and clutter the place up, but she is not welcome here.

Overall, I see these traits as a positive thing in my life. Perhaps over time I will learn to relax and not be so ****, but for now, I'm enjoying it.

[healingme4me]

Does seem positive. Left me, smiling, to read it. Thanks for sharing

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[frey2]

Honestly it sounds more like OCPD to me, rather than OCD. That's pretty much the difference between the two - one is a personality disorder, whereas the other is an impulse control disorder. If you get pleasure out of your obsessions and compulsions - most likely your obsession with a certain routine/way of doing things - then it's probably more OCPD. With OCD you may feel compelled to do/think something, or you may obsess over something, but it causes distress rather than pleasure. That's just my thought.

[freespirit37]

I googled OCPD and I have many of those traits but I don't think I meet the criteria for the disorder. My dad probably does and since I favor him in many ways, I have picked up some of his behaviors.

One thing that is important to me is to be in control of my environment, because I have found that when others were in control, I was abused, manipulated and taken advantage of. As long as I am in control of myself and my environment, everything is okay.

I don't have a problem with true authority figures such as employers or law enforcement as long as those authority figures do me no harm. I do have a problem with self-proclaimed authority figures, such as pastors, religious gurus, relatives, boyfriends, friends or acquaintances who try to exert control over my personal life. Being controlled by others is my worst fear and I have taken extreme measures in the past year of my life to avoid that. I see now how my OCPD traits play a part in this.

[Maven]

Freespirit37, I also fear being controlled by others and it makes me feel threatened and angry when anyone tries, although if I agree with what they want me to do, and they're not ORDERING me or forcing me, I don't usually fight it. However, another thing I hate is when people try to compel me to do something I have already said no to, which I consider a form of bullying. I also share your distrust of authority figures. I'm not confident enough to argue with a police officer in general, like this woman I saw in a video on Facebook who argued in favor of her dog. The dog was in the car, and barked at some customers of the store who had returned to their cars, frightening them. The dog didn't attack anyone. The cop said he was going to arrest the dog! The woman told him he wasn't, that the dog didn't do anything wrong, and the cop finally walks away saying, "I'm not dealing with this!" LOL! I'd be begging the officer not to take my dog, and this woman was able to stand her ground! I wish I were that confident. I should have learned my rights in situations like that long ago.

[freespirit37]

Originally Posted by Maven

Freespirit37, another thing I hate is when people try to compel me to do something I have already said no to, which I consider a form of bullying.

YES YES YES!! If I have to say no more than once, I get really pissed off. Like I want to cut that person out of my life forever. No means no. It not does mean we talk about it. It does not mean they get to keep on with their sales pitch to get me to change my mind. It means shut the **** up, the answer is NO and this is not up for discussion!