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Old Jan 05, 2016, 10:21 AM
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defyinggravity65 defyinggravity65 is offline
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I made a long, drawn out post about this recently but I'm going to post about what I'm going through in a more general way in the hope that it will help you guys with giving feedback!
I am really struggling now with severe anxiety and OCD over episodes of false memories.
Example: Yesterday when I was brushing my hair I had a vague recollection of someone telling me I had a lot of split ends and needed a hair cut. I got a hair cut not too long ago, and don't have any split ends, so I knew it couldn't be true. But it felt like a real memory, like any old regular memory I have.
These experiences can happen to me up to 10 times a day and 99% of the time are just about little things like the example above that don't really matter too much. The memories just pop into my mind and usually I am able to know right away if they happened or not, but a few I don't know about
Like I said, it causes me A LOT of anxiety when this happens, and the more I worry about it, the more it happens. Sometimes my compulsions will take over and I will spend hours trying to find ways to validate if a memory I'm struggling with is true, which makes me feel even worse. There was one where I had recalled seeing the inside of a burning house and it felt like I was remembering a scene in a video game or movie. I watched a bunch of movies and went through a lot of video games looking for a scene that it could have been and never found anything, but felt crazier knowing that I spent hours trying to "prove" the memory one way or another, when it could have been something from a dream or even just a random thought.
I feel like my mind is playing tricks on me, because I usually have always had a good memory. I feel so much anxiety when I get one of these "memories", and really don't know how to respond to them besides assuming that a psychotic break is in my near future and just freaking out about it.
Does this sound like a type of psychosis? I don't have any other psychotic symptoms that I'm aware of.
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Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ("Pure O" Type), Social Anxiety
Rx: Lorazepam PRN

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  #2  
Old Jan 05, 2016, 05:30 PM
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Daphnelover Daphnelover is offline
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It sounds like a new OCD theme to me. And from all I'm learning, the more time you spend fighting and trying to validate or "fix" these thoughts, the worse they will get.. Can you say something like "Hmmm.. that's a strange thought, but it really doesn't matter whether it's a real memory or a fluke." And then let it go? I know it's easier said than done. But, I really don't think you're going crazy.
Thanks for this!
defyinggravity65
  #3  
Old Jan 05, 2016, 08:13 PM
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defyinggravity65 defyinggravity65 is offline
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*feels weight being lifted*
Thanks for responding
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Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ("Pure O" Type), Social Anxiety
Rx: Lorazepam PRN
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Daphnelover
  #4  
Old Jan 06, 2016, 03:27 AM
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Daphnelover Daphnelover is offline
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of course! it's a very scary thing to be afraid of losing one's mind. and the thing with OCD is that these thoughts seem so real and so important when, really, they're just thoughts. We give them way too much importance. hope you start feeling better!
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Old Jan 06, 2016, 03:39 AM
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Daphnelover Daphnelover is offline
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Someone once said that it's not the presence of these thoughts that is the problem, it's our response to these thoughts. a normal person will get a weird thought and think, "ok, that was weird" and let it go. we, on the other hand, get a thought and think "wow, what does that mean? where did that come from? this must be important and I must figure this out." and then we analyze it to death...
Thanks for this!
defyinggravity65, Nike007
  #6  
Old Jan 16, 2016, 08:41 PM
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Secretum Secretum is offline
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Former psych major here.

Memory is very fickle, for everyone, including people with no mental health concerns. False memories happen all the time, to everyone.

You're going to be fine.

BTW, I have OCD-like symptoms, so I know how much that sucks. No fun.

Also, I've had a few psychotic breaks, and I am doing fine now. I have my masters degree, I'm working on getting into med school...it's been hard, but it is happening. I have sporadic hallucinations frequently still, but they don't bother me.

Everything is gonna be alright.
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Check out my blog on equality for those with mental health issues (updated 12/4/15) http://phoenixesrisingtogether.blogspot.com

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