Embarrassed

Trigger warning for people here. Don't read if easily triggered.

Hello. So my OCD symptoms in terms of the mental part have come up more frequently. I keep getting my violent thoughts over and over. I just feel so embarrassing about it. I know other people don't think like this. If I tell someone, I'm afraid they'll want to send me to the police or to the hospital. I mean, the hospital isn't bad, it's just I don't want to be there and don't need to be. It's just the thoughts keep coming in at unexpected times about unexpected violent things. I just feel so embarrassed about it all. My family will ask me what I'm thinking about when it's silent and I have to make up something because I don't want to tell them [trigger]"Oh, you know, just being stabbed and shot at repeatedly. Nothing too big."[\trigger] I wish I can think more "sane" thoughts, like what is happening on the weekend, but no, my brain immediately thinks violence. It's horrible and embarrassing.

Social anxiety disorder, ASD, GAD, OCD, and panic disorder

Lexapro, 10 mg; Ativan 0.5 mg PRN

I get crazy intrusive thoughts too, although mine tend to be sexual in nature at least at the current time. You nail it right on the head when you say it's embarrassing. I just have to remind myself to take a deep breath, say that was weird, and let it go. They say that more people than you would think actually get these types of thoughts. It's just that people without OCD don't obsess over them as much thus they get them less, but they still do get them. Anyone who knows anything about OCD will realize that these are just intrusive thoughts and won't send you to the hospital or call the police.