[tryingthingsout]

Yesterday I was struck with a strong urge to

Possible trigger:

kill, self-harm and set something on fire.

I wanted to get outside in the dark and do something immoral and reprehensible just to create chaos.

I mostly saw images and concepts of what would happen, and I felt excited and anxious at the same time. Some of these thoughts were involving my family and close friends, yet I felt no remorse at the time, only excitement.

Afterwards I started to feel sick when I thought about my lack of remorse, and I am still unsure if I was truly sad or if I just thought it was "the right" reaction to have.

I have had homicidal and suicidal intrusive thoughts before, these however were more like impulses.

[Skeezyks]

Hello tryingthingsout: I'm sorry you have not received a reply to your post. It certainly deserves one. I have experienced some of this sort of thing & it can certainly be disturbing. In my case, I simply try to keep in mind that these are just thoughts. As long as I don't act on them, they're simply chimera. I can just acknowledge them, smile to them, & let them go... no big deal... I don't know if you're seeing a therapist. But, if you are, talking these things through can also be helpful. If you're not seeing a mental health professional, perhaps this is something you might want to consider. I wish you well...