[yanbut]

Hello! I'm hoping someone with expertise and/or who suffers from pure o might be able to help me on this one.

I've read quite a bit on the condition, and from what I've read, obsessions with pure o tend to be highly disturbing, often very sexual or extreme or violent (although this is generally really uncharacteristic of the person).

What I want to know is this - is this always true? Does the obsession have to be extreme in this way? Can it be a bit milder but still quite distressing?

My reason for asking (I'd love to appear academic and aloof but apparently I'm too self-centred for that ) is this: I got a diagnosis for anxiety recently and I'm convinced it's wrong. I've been so concerned that I'm not anxious enough, I've been looking up the condition over and over: blogs, forums, youtube, you name it. I feel like maybe I focused on the wrong things or I exaggerated, because I don't experience the physical symptoms of anxiety, I'm just a bit of a worrier. I went to the doctors' with a kind of self-diagnosed OCD, so maybe I'm just too obnoxious to accept a genuine professional opinion. But then, I look up OCD again too and maybe it doesn't really fit, and I do tend to come up with very mild symptoms in anxiety tests, so maybe I'm ok. Ok, so if I'm ok, cancel the follow-up appointment. But I won't do that either for some reason, and I end up reading more and more resources. I also feel like I'm acting like this on purpose, to "confirm" my supposed mental health issues. I suppose the crux of the issue is that I'm obsessing over the possibility that a) I'm faking it and b) I'm fine, both of which I find quite upsetting, even though "b)" should be a really good thing. No one wants a mental health issue. Except, apparently, me.

So, after some more reading today, I was wondering if this could be pure o (particularly as apparently it's often misdiagnosed as GAD - haha, look at my confirmation bias), but concerned by the fact that the obsession itself wouldn't be considered 'extreme' by an outsider (which further suggests I'm just trying to get any condition I can to fit my personality).

I know I'm going to have to put this to the doctor, but if anyone's got any thoughts, or has experienced anything similar, that would be great. Incidentally, the issue that drove me to my initial self-diagnosis was obsessing over my relationship, which has now vanished, to be replaced with this.

[MusicLover82]

I hate to have to break it to you, and I'm not a doctor, but I suspect that you may have a compulsion of looking things up and researching your illness. That would not be "pure O." A compulsion can be anything that you do to try to relieve your anxiety due to obsession.

I recommend stopping looking up your illness and symptoms. Maybe keep a list to talk to your doctor about it later and get yourself distracted with positive outlets for your anxiety (exercise, dancing, art, conversation, volunteering, etc.). By stopping your compulsive behavior, your obsessions will no longer be fed and the cycle should stop or lessen with time. Do you see a therapist? I would recommend finding a psychologist who will encourage you to stop compulsive behavior. Do you take medication? I would recommend seeing a psychiatrist for a diagnosis if you have not yet gotten one.

Best wishes!

[yanbut]

Thanks for replying ...and sorry for being a bit self-centred, I know that's not necessarily what this forum is for. I have actually been making a list already, so that's good and I don't have meds or a therapist.

Regarding the whole diagnosis thing, I'm so wary of telling the doctor what I think, as I know a few hours googling doesn't compare remotely with - seven?? - years of medical training, but equally GAD feels wrong. I don't really find anything familiar there. But I don't want to waltz in and be like: "I went on the Internet and you're wrong".

Anyway, many thanks for your advice, again, and I hope you're good.

[*Laurie*]

It seems to me that doctors nowadays expect patients to participate in our healthcare decisions. I think it would be fine if you give your pdoc your opinion on your diagnosis.

Also, I agree with MusicLover82. I think it would be healthier for you if you stop obsessively googling your symptoms. Best to you

[dolomystic]

Originally Posted by yanbut

Hello! I'm hoping someone with expertise and/or who suffers from pure o might be able to help me on this one.

I've read quite a bit on the condition, and from what I've read, obsessions with pure o tend to be highly disturbing, often very sexual or extreme or violent (although this is generally really uncharacteristic of the person).

What I want to know is this - is this always true? Does the obsession have to be extreme in this way? Can it be a bit milder but still quite distressing?

My reason for asking (I'd love to appear academic and aloof but apparently I'm too self-centred for that ) is this: I got a diagnosis for anxiety recently and I'm convinced it's wrong. I've been so concerned that I'm not anxious enough, I've been looking up the condition over and over: blogs, forums, youtube, you name it. I feel like maybe I focused on the wrong things or I exaggerated, because I don't experience the physical symptoms of anxiety, I'm just a bit of a worrier. I went to the doctors' with a kind of self-diagnosed OCD, so maybe I'm just too obnoxious to accept a genuine professional opinion. But then, I look up OCD again too and maybe it doesn't really fit, and I do tend to come up with very mild symptoms in anxiety tests, so maybe I'm ok. Ok, so if I'm ok, cancel the follow-up appointment. But I won't do that either for some reason, and I end up reading more and more resources. I also feel like I'm acting like this on purpose, to "confirm" my supposed mental health issues. I suppose the crux of the issue is that I'm obsessing over the possibility that a) I'm faking it and b) I'm fine, both of which I find quite upsetting, even though "b)" should be a really good thing. No one wants a mental health issue. Except, apparently, me.

So, after some more reading today, I was wondering if this could be pure o (particularly as apparently it's often misdiagnosed as GAD - haha, look at my confirmation bias), but concerned by the fact that the obsession itself wouldn't be considered 'extreme' by an outsider (which further suggests I'm just trying to get any condition I can to fit my personality).

I know I'm going to have to put this to the doctor, but if anyone's got any thoughts, or has experienced anything similar, that would be great. Incidentally, the issue that drove me to my initial self-diagnosis was obsessing over my relationship, which has now vanished, to be replaced with this.

I diagnosed myself with pure o for years only to come to realize that there is no such thing as "pure o". For most people that think they have pure o, they do actually have compulsions, although the compulsions are mental in nature and the physical ones are less obvious.

I would guarantee you have compulsions. You may not clean over and over or hand wash or do something very apparent, however you probably have compulsions. Compulsions are human nature to feel safe from the danger of anxiety.

My compulsions are mostly mental with many minor physical ones. When a thought happens I don't want, I will think of a movie scene or say something in my head or say start singing a song in my head. For my physical compulsions I will fidget my fingers, or bite down on my teeth or take a deep breath or any number of minor things nobody would pay much mind to but they ARE in fact compulsions.

Pay attention to how you react to unwanted thoughts.

[girlinterruptedbee]

"I got a diagnosis for anxiety recently and I'm convinced it's wrong. I've been so concerned that I'm not anxious enough, I've been looking up the condition over and over: blogs, forums, youtube, you name it. I feel like maybe I focused on the wrong things or I exaggerated, because I don't experience the physical symptoms of anxiety, I'm just a bit of a worrier. I went to the doctors' with a kind of self-diagnosed OCD"

If I'm understanding you correctly, you are saying that you think you have OCD because your anxiety is not severe. Is this what you were trying to say?

I can tell you from personal experience that OCD sufferers experience severe anxiety just like a person with Generalized Anxiety Disorder would. The severity of the anxiety should not be a tool to distinguish one from the other.

Have you heard of Somatic Symptom Disorder? Please research it. And you may just have an obsessive personality -- FOR NOW. Bad brain habits can manifest an obsessive personality into full-blown OCD. Also, it is not good to obsess over and look too much into disorders, especially one such as OCD. Leonardo DiCaprio has OCD now after he played a character in a movie who had it. He researched it for months on end which had something to do with it along with repeating obsessive behaviors for the movie.

I would listen to your doctor's diagnosis and let him worry about the fancy titles. Just let him know what hinders you as a person, and he can help you create a plan to be the best version of yourself. If deep down you don't have faith in your doctor, find a new one.