bad thoughts sa trigger

for the last week or so av been having thoughts of hurting children sexually
my husband and my pastor both say am unlikely to do its and am thinking about due to my own trauma ( i was sexually abused as a child ) the thoughts are so bad and on top of that i hear voices as well my head feels like its ready to burst with it all its gotten to me so much that i feel suicidal and want to self injure i see my psych on Monday as i managed to get an emgeacy appointment with her but its getting through the weekend am worried about
my husband is with me and has locked all the meds away i hope that my psych can do something to help me...its excusing

I told my sister the same thing.and im suprised by her reaction she didnt look at me as bad. I think cause my uncle on my dads side did something to his daughter but theres a difference between being a pedophile and actively being. A pedophile. You have thoughts that ive always hid cause i know no one would understand besides my best friend and what she said is better to be a pedophile and live with that label than to actively live and go against that little voice in your head that tells you no when you see a child.it may seem like the wrost of days but remember to tell yourself this is just an impulse i am in control.

my psych has given me more medication in hope that it helps me

What medication? I've found that clomipramine helped control those kind of intrusive thoughts, but I had to stop because of the side effects. The seemingly real thoughts I had were about stabbing people. I'm on Cymbalta instead. It had also helped.

Haloperidol is the new meds that am taking ...it has help with the thoughts

Hi Asphyxia, the thoughts you were having kind of sound like OCD thoughts. If you fight OCD thoughts they tend to get stronger. In case the thoughts return, here are some things that help me:
1. remembering that my thoughts don't define who I am
2. remembering my brain can produce disturbing thoughts but that doesn't mean I will act on them
3. remembering that in the end, it doesn't matter what people think of me, even if they find out that I have horrible thoughts
3. allow the thoughts to freely pass through my mind and even positively welcome them to do so. When I do this the thoughts lessen over time
4. practicing ERP techniques and when doing so remember that compulsions can be thoughts too
5. practicing mindfulness techniques to increase focus, reduce anxiety, and help give my mind more ability to choose which thoughts I want to pay attention to. This is not religious (Buddhist) meditation. It is just a set of mental exercises that help your mind to stay calm and focused. Here is the book I used to guide me: "Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World"