Relationship Paranoia?

I have been diagnosed with OCD in the past, I thought I got over it, or was able to deal with it, but now I think that either its coming back, or I am just in a bad relationship again.

I broke up with a sociopath 4 years ago and he has left some scars. I went completely paranoid during our time together. I thought he was cheating and my mind went to all kinds of crazy places. The thing is, he was. Now I couldn't be always right as to all the details, but just being right confirmed my paranoia as logic. Now with my current "relationship" I feel the exact same way, but I don't know if it is because he is lying to me like my ex was or because I was too careful to get attached and saw him suspiciously since the get go. I have had smaller, yet similar incidents with my two relationships before the sociopath. The one right after the sociopath cheated on me too, I forgave him, yet for some odd reason I never had any incident like it. Of course he cheated on me again but never told me. Still no incident. I was in a good place at the time if that counts.

Of course, my one rule after the sociopath was never ask a liar for the truth. So I can't ask him. But I think I should? I'm confused.

I just want to know how he really feels about me but I have already asked him a couple of times so asking him again feels too much. It's also complicating as this relationship is poly, which is new to me.

Hello Capris: I'm sorry you are caught up in these difficult circumstances. I don't know as there is much I can offer with regard to this. (It's been a while since you posted it. Perhaps circumstances have changed?) But I noticed no one replied to you post. (I do apologize for that.) So I thought I would at least let you know I read your post. And I wish you well.

From my perspective, I think this is really a situation best handled by working through it with a skilled counselor or therapist. You need to sort through how much of this is related to your previous relationships versus your OCD. And that's not something you're going to be able to resolve quickly. It's something that must be worked through, delved into, gradually... over a period of time.

No matter what your bf says, there's going to be no way to know for certain if he's telling the truth (unless you actually catch him cheating of course.) And I do think you're correct. There does come a point where asking these sorts of questions over-&-over simply becomes too much. Anyway... I hope things are going well. My best wishes to you...