ı cant masturbate, scary ocd, please help!

I'm mentally dismissed right now. My mind is completely stopped. I can not think of anything, I can not feel it. My brain is dead.
You can call me mentally, I will not be sorry for that. Since childhood I am someone who is interested in reading, writing, designing. This obsession can be counted in high school continued. I am currently studying at the university and it is still going on. I call it intellectual obsession. But I am so disconnected from society and from the outside world. My mind is constantly thinking, writing poetry, setting up scenarios, or designing a pencil. I am used to this condition, and I love myself. But these intense thoughts have confined me to mental illnesses that do not result. I am handcuffed in a pessimistic mood. There is no obsession like you know until now, such as a cleaning obsession. But the masturbation obsession has blackened my life. I was masturbating too much in high school and the mental blur after masturbation gradually began to annoy me and turn into obsession. Masturbation has become a threat to the mind. I could not think, I could not put my mind together, I was sluggish. And masturbation is now becoming an untouchable object. I can not come to myself after masturbation, as if all my mental processes have stopped, my creativity, my verbal ability, my logical production has stopped. I feel like a very big sin. And I can not beat it, he is swallowing me. Maybe I can not come to myself for two weeks. I feel like I'm breathing a big melancholy smoke.

And this obsession grows bigger, on the slightest sexual stimulus, this damn obsession immediately wakes up from sleep. Like a nightmare, it turns my whole life into night.

I do not want to extend the writing. I apologize in advance for my English. I hope I could tell myself.

thanks in advance.

Hi Schizophreniam.

Anything that has become an obsessive compulsion is very invasive and often crippling to ones life. Speaking to a therapist may help you in coming to terms with your obsessions and start moving forward.

For those who feel alone, or simply wanting to reach out for a chat without judgement......Psych Central is the place. There are many good listeners here... we're a pretty good bunch.

I have been an active member of this site for 4 years. In that time I have received some really constructive feedback and connected with several others with similar challenges to myself. I have also found hanging out in the Games Forums to be a welcome distraction in times of stress... a great way to clear my head, meet like minded others, and have some well needed fun. New members also benefit greatly from perusing the many forums available here...lots to explore. Also after 5 approved posts members have the option to join the chatrooms..or chat one on one with other members.

Should you have any questions on navigating this site, please don't hesitate to private message me or any of the other Community Liaisons who will be more than happy to help. Just click on the screen name above my avatar.

Please be kind & generous to yourself Schizophreniam, and welcome to P.C

I think I have the same issue, or something similiar
I used to think about bad things, like I had to punish myself while masturbating. I've never hurt myself but I used to wish to do it.
Talking about this with a therapist, she suggested to think about those bad things for a period of time, like for example 5 minutes per day (just thinking and not doing anything else, like don't touch yourself) and then exactly after the time ends you move to do something else - I've did it for some months and it kinda worked. (<- during this period of time I still masturbated but in very different times of the day, thinking about something 'healthy' (which is subjective maybe) instead obviously)

[read my second post here: https://forums.psychcentral.com/ocd-...ml#post5868252
as you can see those links lead to informations to something called 'misattribution of arousal' - I think I've confused many times my fears with arousal, which led me to masturbate many more times than I actually wanted, needed, to confirm my fears or the absence of them.
^but this is my situation.]

After doing what my therapist suggested me, I've started feeling scared about masturbating because I wanted to think only about the things I liked.. the only thing that worked till now is try my best to do it (and, like, be very convinced that there's nothing there to stop me, so just do it in the most comfortable way) - and till now it seems like it improves with time, so it works for me.