[Rive1976]

How do you know the difference between whats anxiety and whats bad? Ever since I can remember I have been sexual. Any mention of anything sexual or if I saw something sexual my anxiety would go through the roof. This all started after some sexual play with other kids at age 7. If i heard or saw something sexual I would have the urge to touch my privates etc. It was a compulsion and not doing it creates anxiety but I dont do it. At around age 11 I began to like another female child who was about 6. I have always thought young girls were very pretty and ever since 11 I have had impulses to touch them. The thing is though is that all kids and teenagers (female) trigger these impulses even women.( I am female by the way) The thing that scares me is that a certain age group is more triggering to act because I think they are pretty. The way I look at children I dont think is normal but the urges themselves are anxiety producing not exciting. Is this Pure O or something else?

I am noticing you asking for reassurance a lot. It can be a big part of anxiety and Pure O specifically. Unfortunately, asking for constant reassurance (is this an illness or am I a monster?) will only hinder your progress. It is very tough, but the less you seek reassurance, the less you will feed these intrusive thoughts.

[Rive1976]

Well the intrusive thoughts only pop up when Im around kids. Since I am not around kids right now I dont have them the impulses to touch innapropriately shift to something else although I do look at pictures of other peoples kids but they are not nude. So Im very confused. I think I may have both. That scares me.

Well just think of the absolute worst case scenario - you suffer from pedophilia. Have you inappropriately touched any children lately? No? Then you are fine. I imagine quite a few people out there struggle with being attracted to children but don't act on these desires or impulses. I have great respect for those individuals. What is most important is that you don't act on these thoughts.

Honestly to me though it sounds more like Pure O mixed in with some past experiences that your mother made a big deal out of, when it was all quite normal. Now you are having a hard time telling the difference, which is one of the hardest parts of Pure O. I hope someday you are able to come to a place of understanding and acceptance.

Also since they only pop up around children (a trigger), that reinforces my belief that you are suffering from Pure O. Pedophiles don't need a child near them to engage in fantasy, it can happen anytime.

[Rive1976]

Well I dont have fantasies but I have looked at a childs body innapropriately on many occasions.

[Rive1976]

Well Ocd runs in my family. I also was emotionally abused. I was attracted to female children and women when I was a child. I have active pedophiles in my family and I know my mother hates them and I was made fun of by peers for engaging in sexual activity with other peers becsuse they didnt do that. So I think it was a recipe for disaster.