Ocd or no

How do you know the difference between whats anxiety and whats bad? Ever since I can remember I have been sexual. Any mention of anything sexual or if I saw something sexual my anxiety would go through the roof. This all started after some sexual play with other kids at age 7. If i heard or saw something sexual I would have the urge to touch my privates etc. It was a compulsion and not doing it creates anxiety but I dont do it. At around age 11 I began to like another female child who was about 6. I have always thought young girls were very pretty and ever since 11 I have had impulses to touch them. The thing is though is that all kids and teenagers (female) trigger these impulses even women.( I am female by the way) The thing that scares me is that a certain age group is more triggering to act because I think they are pretty. The way I look at children I dont think is normal but the urges themselves are anxiety producing not exciting. Is this Pure O or something else?

I am noticing you asking for reassurance a lot. It can be a big part of anxiety and Pure O specifically. Unfortunately, asking for constant reassurance (is this an illness or am I a monster?) will only hinder your progress. It is very tough, but the less you seek reassurance, the less you will feed these intrusive thoughts.

Well the intrusive thoughts only pop up when Im around kids. Since I am not around kids right now I dont have them the impulses to touch innapropriately shift to something else although I do look at pictures of other peoples kids but they are not nude. So Im very confused. I think I may have both. That scares me.

Well just think of the absolute worst case scenario - you suffer from pedophilia. Have you inappropriately touched any children lately? No? Then you are fine. I imagine quite a few people out there struggle with being attracted to children but don't act on these desires or impulses. I have great respect for those individuals. What is most important is that you don't act on these thoughts.

Honestly to me though it sounds more like Pure O mixed in with some past experiences that your mother made a big deal out of, when it was all quite normal. Now you are having a hard time telling the difference, which is one of the hardest parts of Pure O. I hope someday you are able to come to a place of understanding and acceptance.

Also since they only pop up around children (a trigger), that reinforces my belief that you are suffering from Pure O. Pedophiles don't need a child near them to engage in fantasy, it can happen anytime.

Well I dont have fantasies but I have looked at a childs body innapropriately on many occasions.

Well Ocd runs in my family. I also was emotionally abused. I was attracted to female children and women when I was a child. I have active pedophiles in my family and I know my mother hates them and I was made fun of by peers for engaging in sexual activity with other peers becsuse they didnt do that. So I think it was a recipe for disaster.