Not quite false memories, but similar

Wondering if anyone else has this..

I know it is OCD ultimately, but still I'm having issues with taking a past event where I felt I did something wrong and slowly escalating the 'what if' regarding it to the point where 'what if X happened and I'm a terrible person.'
I start worrying that 'what if' the absolute worst case scenario of this were true would I be a terrible person and not deserve to live.


My OCD can be truly menacing at times.

@morallen welcome to MSF. I am sorry to hear your OCD is getting carried away in your imagination. If I think of all the worst case scenarios in life I would be paralyzed and frozen in fear. I reassure myself I am doing the best I can. That is all anyone can reasonably expect.

We all have an inner dimension that is free of any sense of wrong. Finding that I realize that we are all wanting to be happy but unfortunately we do mostly choose things that lead to suffering. I do not see you as terrible, only like me suffering from mental health challenges. We can get through this.

CANDC

[If you want me to see your reply to this post please include @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message]

Just found this thread so apologies for inserting a reply almost a year after the original post. I'm a new member and even newer to the OCD forum, but I have some experience with what you described as "what if X happened and I'm a terrible person." One thing that might help counteract the power of these "what ifs" is giving equal weight to the opposite possibility: "what if it didn't happen, what if this is just an obsessive thought that will not last forever, what if it will go away soon..." I think overall the challenge is to let go of the ruminative pull of obsessional thinking, but perhaps there are ways we can actively loosen its power in the moment. PS I was about to end this with "Just a thought" but of course I know how powerful thoughts are.