I'm losing it...

Ive always had an obsession with doing stuff a certain amount of times for me the numbers 4,8,16 are lucky because you can half them until they lead to 1 - so they are the most even numbers you can get if you understand me? Obviously I could go on higher but 16 is as high as I go.

Also I can't convince my brain of stuff, such as if I look at my remotes volume and it is on 8 and I know that it is on 8 and it closes off the screen I will have to get it back on the screen just to confirm it is on 8.

I have to check I have locked things atleast 8 times and still I am uncertain and go back to check them.

There are many other things but I want to talk about other things/

OK So Recently I have stopped smoking weed, and recently the local thug from my area added me to MSN and said he is after me and going to get me because I have being saying stuff about him (which I never!) this has made me snap inside my head. I can't stop obsessing over him, obsessing over why me, obsessing over the fact that someone has lied to him about me, obsessing over the possible things he is going to do to me. I don't want to go out anymore, I just want to stay in. I'm so drained, and I'm losing my mind because of all this worrying, I can not concentrate on anything. Every day I wake up and try to make myself go back to sleep because atleast when I'm asleep I don't have to think of it. I pray to God every night for his help. I keep thinking this guy is going to be there when I go outside. I keep thinking I hear God speak to me when I speak to him in my mind, but I know it's just me talking to myself - but in another way I think it's him. I think I'm going mad, really mad. I've gotten depressed, nothing can make me smile, I can be in a room full of people and still be worried and upset - E.G Christmas I was worried, New years eve I was worried. I went to a funeral the other day and couldn't even focus on the death of the person because I was worrying and feeling so down anyways - how bad is that ? I can't control my thoughts and everything feels like such a task now - I want to end it

Hello Raz0r, it's nice to meet you. I am sorry I didn't see your post until just now or I would have responded sooner. Are you in therapy? These sound like some serious obsessions and sounds a lot like ocd but only a professional can diagnosis that. They have meds out there that can help with these kind of thoughts and then therapy helps you learn some new coping skills to help avoid some of your symptoms. If I were you I definitely seek help, therapy and meds have really helped me, I also suffer from alot of the things that you are explaining but mine has improved some plus when I start to worry I can tell myself that it's just my ocd which can help sometimes.

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