i'm pretty much strange

i've got a crush on the thoughts and soul of a dead killer. to be specific it's eric harris...i am fully aware he is dead and made a big mistake i don't regard him as a hero and i'm not in love with him or obsessive...it just worries me cause i'm pretty sure i'm not supposed to.
There's also my thing with liking to manipulate people basically fool them. i know that's wrong too...and my major swings from one second hyper irritated with racy thoughts to sucidal.
i betting no one will read this cause i swear everyone on the internet ignores me or something...
Is there something wrong with me?????

I read it...

I'm not ignoring you....

There may be something wrong with you.....

There's something wrong with everyone......

You're human.....

If you don't like who you are....

Change...

It's never that easy, is it? I wish it were....

Hello thorne, it's nice to meet you, welcome to psych central.
Have you considered seeing a therapist? Therapy can help you find the path to change things in your life that you don't like, I am sending you some hugs.

The words you say sound scarey.

But could be you're way (thinking) cuz what happened in your past.

And maybe want to hurt others how you were hurt.

I went through a stage in life where I became a man abuser. My therapist brought to my attention. I was shocked to hear that I was an abuser.

I was also a manipultor. Like Kenny Rogers "never let them see your WHOLE hand' Cuz if they did I'd use it against them. hit their weak points....But that was only to those i felt where acting better than....

I don't do that anymore either.... I've come a LONG way.

Wish for you the same.