I feel like

I've shifted dimensions or something... life is so unreal right now.

I literally feel like im existing in hell.

For those that don't know, Cps took Jer into foster care because they think I am too "sick and disabled" to care for him properly-mostly because I have trouble with housework. They never offered respite help, referral for HomeCare to come more often, or any sort of help. They just came, and took him. Its been a week and I haven't even seen him. Then the other day my cousin, jers godmother, and my birth coach who brought him into the world, flew out to calgary to her brothers funeral. He had dropped dead at sixty. She had her 2nd heart attack shortly after, made it to the hospital, and then died.

I am just barely existing. Im not in good shape but I know I can't tell anyone, just have to muck it through, because if i go to the doc or the hospital they tell cps and then I end up fighting harder to get him back. They are using EVERYTHING against me. Treating me like i abused him. Trying to tell me I can only see him 2hours at a time, twice a week, while being watched by a social worker. I cant take him to the park, have him for overnights, or anything. My lawyer is working on it right now. At first they tried to say 1 time a week, for 1 hour. THIS IS NOT RIGHT. He was put into foster care because im physically quite sick/disabled and need help, not because I ever abused or neglected him.

My life is just hell rightnow..hence why i havent been around. Most of the time i just crawl into bed, and cry myself to sleep.

I am so sorry (((((((((( Rainbowzz )))))))))))) I didn't know this had happened to you.

((((((((((((((((Rainbowzz))))))))))))))))))))

I will say a few extra prayers for you, my sweet.

(((rainbowz)))
Just want you to know that I am so sorry this is happening to both you and Jer . It has to so hard on the both of you .
I hope things work out well with the lawyer .
Take care , Many Hugs

Rainbozz
I am so sorry this is happening to you, you are in my thoughts and prayers

I hope your lawyer will be able to help you and things will get sorted out very soon

((((Rainbowzz and Jer))))

{{{{{Rain and Jer}}}}}}} I hope you two get back together real soon. I'm praying for it.

Mary Alice

I'm so sorry to here about this
Gentle Hugs to keep you safe
Your in my thoughts

((((((((Rainbowzz)))))))) I know how this feels and my thoughts, wishes and prayers are with you! I'm so sorry, hun!

OMG Rainbow, I am SO sorry!!!! The last post I recall reading is that all went well. I can’t even imagine the hell you must be going through right now.

Do keep in contact with your lawyer, certainly by getting help for yourself you’re creating a better life for you and your son. Surely that shows maturity and responsibility….(((Rainbowzz))) I hope things clear up soon.

You would think that. But no, they are using my mental health history against me. Lawyer says any additional hospitalizations could cause us to lose the case...we have a year basically, to prove he belongs with me and if they find ANYTHING to prove otherwise hes made a ward of the court permanently.

That makes absolutely no sense at all to me. I’m all for protecting the kids, but making a mother choose between her mental health and her child seems so counter productive to me! I'm so sorry>

I am so sorry this is happening. It is so not right. You are such a good mom we all know that. I hope you know we are all here for you. I wish you lots of strenght and if there is anything else I can do please let me know.

(((Rainbowzz)) Sorry to hear this is happening. I don't know you, but feel free to PM anytime. We live in the same province...so if there's anything I can do, let me know.

Oh man, that is so not right... it's not like there is a shortage of kids out there who are actually neglected and abused that need their help. (besides, I thought CPS does everything they can to KEEP families together!)

((((((Rainbowzz))))))),

I was wondering how things went.....I cannot believe how stupid they are being about this.....but sadly, it just reinforces my lack of confidence in the authorities ability to do anything of value in our lives only mess it up. APS (adult protective services) was so messed up when I needed their help....they refused to do anything & even lost the case it seems.

Know this couldn't have just come out of the blue....someone had to have said something to them to alert them to a problem in the first place. I am so angry at the way you & Jer are being treated. Especially when it comes down to you not being able to get the help you need so that you can be the best mother to Jer. The whole system is run by incompetent jerks with inconsistent rules applied.

Hopefully your lawyer will guide you correctly so you can get Jer back soon.

Keeping you & Jer in my prayers,
Debbie

Though we are far across the sea, Rainbowz, I'll always keep you in my prayers..... Hope the next news I get is that you are back with your beloved child...... You deserve your children... I pray that everything work out well...

oh ((((Raainbowzz)))

I am so incredibly sorry. This is terrible. I can't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling. When I read about all the abused and murdered children here that fall through CPS cracks, then to think they'd take Jer awaay from his Mom just because she has a few health problems makes me sick.

Make the most of your time with visiting him, and work with your lawyer.

I know it sucks but right now you need to be really strong to probe to cps that you are a good mom to Jer.

--splitimage

I just want to hug you ((((((rainbowzz))))))

_I know and can tell you are a wonderful mother

I am so sorry, you are in my prayers <3

((((((Rainbowzz)))) I am so sorry this is happening to you. It's just not right. Keeping you and Jer in my thoughts. Hang in there, sending all my best your way.

I got to see him today, and well, that was rough at first...but GREAT. He didnt really act like he knew me at first, but then I did itsy bitsy spider and it was like a lightbulb went off. His molars finally came in, so he can chew now, and is eating like a champ(which looks horrible on me because hes suddenlygaining weight when he wasnt with me.. but I know its because before he couldnt chew well)

They bought him those shoes that light up. Very cool. haha. And he looked great. I had just a few small things that I wanted to ensure, and left a note with the worker to give the foster parents ie how to treat his excema if it flares(butt paste! dont both with going to the doc unless its severe. butt paste works just as well as betamethasone), pointed out his mouth is breaking out(butt paste right before bed too!) and that it might have been strawberry on the doughnut I let him have a bite of....and to put him size 4 pampers only as anything else makes him red.

At the end of the meeting, too bad it had to end, he was just falling asleep in my arms. I would have liked to let him nap but they wouldnt.

Im glad you were able to see him. Is your laywer saying you are going to be able to get him back? Im glad he is doing well. Thanks for giving us an update. I hope you know we are all behind you and that everything will turn out ok. I wish you lots of strength.

((((((((Rainbowzz))))))

He will be back in your arms for good I believe. You have done nothing wrong, the truth will come out

How wonderful for you both that you were able to visit him! I wouldn’t worry too much about his eating habits, anyone familiar with children know they go through stages where they just won’t eat. (((Rain))) hang in there, it will all work out for the best.