So the last month has basically failed all over the place.My child went into foster care, my cousin and birth coach died suddenly at fifty three, my disabilities have ramped up, Im extremely depressed and anxious, not sleeping..you name it.
Anyways, ive been doing....NOTHING. But whatever the hell I want to at that moment.Mostly thats been staying online with friends, relaxing in my home, sleeping way too much and reading great novels to escape.

I NEED this right now. I need this downtime before i start making changes. However, noone in the my family seems to understand this. Ive been this way for a couple of weeks, and i plan to stay that way until i feel personally ready to attack the underlying issues. Some would say im not doing anyhing but really after the last five years i need this "vacation" from reality, and its saving me from ..er, well, "negative" thoughts, self harm, relapsing on drugs, generally alot of bad things.

How can i explain this in a way to my family that willmake them understand? Im extremely sick right now, both physically and mentally, and I cannot do much. My mother called me stupid today...I was proud of myself, I stood up from my chair and said "YOU...do NOT. Have the right to do that in my house. YOU dont GET TO DO THAT. You can show yourself the door." That has been what ive been doing with anyone who treats me poorly, sorry, get out of my life,not interested in more stress. Although they have to really do something hurtful of course.

Thoughts guys?

[Elysium]

I think everyone needs a break and everyone needs time to convalesce as well. Sometimes we just need to let ourselves be sick and allow ourselves to experience that...I think it's part of knowing our limits and part of self care as well. The ultimate goal though should be to be able to not get sucked down in it and be able to move forward when it is time.

Everyone here wants to see you succeed. Succeeding does not mean doing everything perfectly and being the best person ever. Succeeding means taking care of you and looking out for Jer. If what you need to do is allow yourself some downtime then do this, but don't lose site of your ultimate goals.

Good for you for standing up to your Mother and to others in your life. One of the most difficult things about healing and moving forward is that most of the time as you are moving forward, others are not and you slowly start to pull away from them and there becomes a distance. Sometimes this is healthy though.

Just give yourself a little time to breathe and rest. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and let yourself begin to recover. As you begin to feel better, you can start to work with things and get yourself back on your game.

Take care!!

[AAAAA]

Good for you for standing up for yourself! Rain, you’re an adult and you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. You’ve gone through a lot recently and it’s completely understandable that you need some time to regroup.

At the risk of being the stick in the mud, I’d definitely set an end date to this downtime. You must be careful not to cross the line between self-care and avoidance. If you’re not feeling up to doing more by this time next month I would suggest contacting your mental health professional. If you believe that you’ve crossed the line between grief and depression or between living and existing, do seek the help you need.

thanks guys

Oh and AAAA, I thought of that. so I made an appt with the new pdoc thats replacing mine. Its only been a couple of weeks, so this may just be normal, but i thought you know it couldnt hurt to have him follow me, so if i start to tip he(or she, they didnt tell me) can catch it on time.

Yes, even as i speak, today iw as feeling fidgety and restless with nothing to do. So i feel it coming..as my health improves,probably from the downtime for the first time in years, I improve. It seems like each day i do a bit more.

Ive been doing alot of writing today. Just on forums i go on, and catching up on fb, and sending emails to family and friends..but still doing SOMETHING. So i feel good about that.


Physically I am still a big hot mess. I am sooooo sore. Everything kills, including my rear end, with the skin infection(oooo TMI! Mandie..TMI!!!lol). I just feel like i would love to get into a hottub up to my neck and not move..and tomorrow i may buy a day pass at the hotal and do just that!

[Sabrina]

Sorry things are so rough and that you have so much going on. Please take some time to be kind to yourself.

(Rain) Thats alot to have going on all at once . Please take care of you
The last part of your post caught my eye. If you have a infection...please becareful...have a Dr look at it . As with any infection ....you have to be so careful not to spread it. AS i am recovering now as you know. Its been a long road. PLease take care of you . See a speacalist if you have too. Heres something on hottubs and infections to keep you safe and others.
http://www.gasdetection.com/news2/he..._digest61.html

[nowheretorun]

((((Bowzz))))) what i get from your post is that you are feeling very overwhelmed and it is good that you can see that you need a re-centering time, a time to re-evaluate your life course and a time to start fresh again.... thank goodness we are given those opportunities (its happened to me several times) .. get grounded in what you know to be good and true and strike a course to achieving your plans... there is help along the way to make it easier but you will have to do most of the work on your own... you and jer are worth it... sending hope

[gimmeice]

((((((((((((((( Rainbowzz )))))))))))))))))))

I am sorry that you are going through so much right now, I agree that it sounds like you need some down time, take care of yourself hun and then you can regroup.

[hurtingintn]

i agree with all of the above post...take care of yourself ..sending some hugs