Always wondered why parents slept apart

VickiesPath · Oct 01, 2009, 11:20 AM

I always wondered why when they got older, my parents slept in separate rooms. It seemed quite out of character for them.

Now I know.

My husband recently came home from 10 days in England visiting family. I slept fairly well while he was gone. I usually sleep OK when he is here. But since he's been home, it's been more difficult. We do have a split king, with a lot of room, including separate adjustable controls for each side. Quite the fancy setup. However, he is in a lot of pain with some issues with his legs. And he tosses and turns which makes me toss and turn.

Last night, he did something he does occasionally. It scared the living daylights out of me like it always does.

He went to bed too soon after eating supper. Around midnight, his supper came back up and he inhaled it. The food went into his lungs and choked him. He jumped up and began gagging and coughing and choking. If none of you have ever inhaled stomach juices before, it is the most horrible thing. It burns the esophagus and hurts like hell. I am a light sleeper and so for the rest of the night, neither one of us slept. He stayed home today.

I feel so awful for him. He is having such a rough time with trying to catch up at work, his legs hurting and now missing another day of work because of this. Geez.

lynn P. · Oct 01, 2009, 11:36 AM

So sorry to hear about that happening to your husband. Does he have acid reflux desease? He has to be very careful the next few days to watch for lung infection from this.

My husband snores very badly in his sleep. Since he's a smoker he gets sinus drainage(eww) while sleeping. One night he inhaled some and starting choking, to the point of losing consciousness. I did the heimlich manoever on him. Another time he choked the same way on a large piece of food and again I saved him. He chokes very easily. Before things turned sour between us, I honestly was dying from sleep deprivation from the snoring - I had to wear foam earplugs and used to wake up 20 times a night.

I think as time goes on and passions wane, it just becomes a matter of practicality. It's well known that many of us don't get enough sleep and it affects us during the day. I hope your husband won't get a lung infection from this and hope his pain gets better.

AAAAA · Oct 01, 2009, 11:38 AM

Oh how awful for him. I have GERD, and absolutely hate waking up like that, having to calm yourself and breathe in only through your nose when you just want to get as much air as you can.

KathyM · Oct 01, 2009, 11:59 AM

Ouch - I hope he's feeling better soon.

My mother moved into another room because she couldn't handle my father's snoring. My husband snores too, but the sound doesn't bother me at all. It feels good to know he's there next to me.

However, he has severe back pain due to large spurs on all of his vertebrae. His doc gives him Tramadol to ease the pain, but they never give him enough. When he runs out of the meds, he goes through withdrawals that frighten the hell out of me. Not only will he toss and turn, he literally tosses himself all over the bed in order to get comfortable. When I have to tell him to stop using my ankle as his pillow, he gets up in a total state of confusion and has no idea where he's at or what he's doing.

It's so hard for him to make it through his work day during this time - in pain and sleep deprived. He has to work though because we're struggling. If he doesn't work, we don't eat or have a roof over our heads.

I'm okay with only one pair of torn up tennis shoes that have lasted 15 years - I only have two feet anyway.

I remember looking at "old" people and thinking they didn't have it so bad. Jokes on me.

VickiesPath · Oct 01, 2009, 12:08 PM

I know what you mean, Lynn. Hubby has sleep apnea and before being diagnosed, he would stop breathing. I would sometimes have to shake him or even hit him on the chest to start his breathing. Made a nervous wreck of me. Now, with the CPAP, no snoring.

Yes, AAAAA, he has GERD. It's awful. He has tried and tried to eat earlier and earler but sometimes, especially if we go out (like yesterday) he can't control the timing or eats a little too much, and it doesn't digest quite enough before bed. It hasn't happened in quite a while so I guess we're lucky but it is sooooooo scarey when it does.

Oh, Kathy, I know what you are talking about. He's in the middle of getting some veins removed from his legs and there are days when the only way he can get rid of the pain when he gets home from work is to lie face down in bed.

Also, I used to take opioids for back pain. And when I broke my leg severely, I was taking so many pain pills, I would wake up and my hands would be clenched into fists and it would take me an hour to unclench them. I never figured that one out. Going off of them was hell.

He's snoring away now. I think he's exhausted. (Me too)

AAAAA · Oct 01, 2009, 12:32 PM

I'm glad that he's found something that has worked for him. I haven't found a pattern really, except that I cannot drink coffee at all. Has he concidered the surgery for the valve at all?

VickiesPath · Oct 01, 2009, 01:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AAAAA

I'm glad that he's found something that has worked for him. I haven't found a pattern really, except that I cannot drink coffee at all. Has he concidered the surgery for the valve at all?

No, he hasn't really looked into that. I suppose he better consider it since he's thinking of retiring and that means no insurance, just Medicare.

Also, something else that makes this kind of incident doubley dangerous for him.

When he was young and lived in England, he was in something that is similar to our ROTC here in the states and once they were up in an airplane and the plane suddenly depressurized. Everyone, with the exception of the pilot, lost consciousness.

As a result, he was in hospital for three days. And he says that the most damage was to his lungs. (I often wonder about his brain!! Just kidding....) Anyway, if he gets a bad cold, we are very concerned because he gets pneumonia easily. So this incident like last night is nerve wracking. Just adds to the scare.