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#1
May 17, 2005, 01:44 PM
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..I promised I'd follow up with info on what happened when I spoke to me manager (cf my post in PP)
Well, if anyone is interested I spoke with her this morning... It went basically ok, she actually isn't concerned about my progress. She did say though that I have been more fragile of late, than I was when she first knew me (August 2003) I feel frustrated and disappointed though that she wanted to know when I'll be back to like I was before (before I had this depressive, anxious episode from last Autumn)....how can she assume that I'll be the same when I get through *this*. I hope to come through more mature and healthy....but I can't predict....can I? She keeps asking what caused it....I 'blamed' my ex-group and how it affected me (I did actually leave because it wasn't helping it was harming....too much past repetition..) But I KEEP trying to explain that I've been 'this way' all my life, its just unfreezing now... It also annoys me that her philosophy is that its all in the past (my traumatic premature birth, being bullied, my dysfunctional family with paranoid father) and I can just say its over and done and that it'll have no affect on me any more... If only....I DID try to tell her its not that easy...and she did admit that 10 years of being bullied at school was a bit much and someone should have done something...(which noone did..I got blamed that it was my fault...) Is there anything I could get her to read, or that I could say so that I feel less guilty and ashamed for going through my therapeutic process???? sorrel |
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#2
May 17, 2005, 02:09 PM
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Doesn't sound like your manager really understands what you've been through. There no predicting, for pete's sake!
 One thing for sure, though. You'll be better when you come through on the other side... in your own time!  There's no guarantee that she'll read anything you give her. Maybe if you just give her a sentence or two of information when she asks. Good luck! Hang in there; take care of YOU and don't worry about what others think.
__________________
Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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#3
May 17, 2005, 02:15 PM
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thanks for your wisdom September Morn......It is so true....it sort of LOOKS LIKE she understands, but hey ho...I have to find me......that's another, like job, that I have....
All my life (starting from day 1 ) I've tried to do things before I was ready and this time I'm sure going to do it in my own time....she ain't my therapist, seems my manager just wants a happy cheery person...I can do happy still, I just am not it all the time...I'm human...I'm a human being...(still unfamiliar for me to say that....) Am going out to get some chips!!! (fries to you USA folks...) sorrel P.S. The premature baby quote below I found on a primal therapy website..I am trying to feed myself with validation..... |
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#4
May 17, 2005, 02:22 PM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
P.S. The premature baby quote below I found on a primal therapy website..I am trying to feed myself with validation.... </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> GOOD JOB!!! 
__________________
Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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#5
May 17, 2005, 04:28 PM
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  sorrel |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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