Why Holidays Don't Have to be Happy

Here's an article from Medical News Today that gives five tips for more realistic holiday expectations, and a redefinition of what it means to have a happy holiday season. Thought it might be helpful for those of us who have difficulties during the holidays.

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http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/172229.php 


Thanks Pom for the article. Makes sense to me.
I wasn't planning on being happy anyway . Lol

Thanks, Pomegranate!

I was impressed with this comment near the end of the article (pardon me for ripping it out of its context):

Some of the absolutely best holidays I ever had was one that I spent at university church creating a thanksgiving dinner for numerous students who got snowed in and couldn't make the journey home for the holiday, and the others were those spent with fellow members of AA. In both instances, we focused on the things we had to truly be grateful for and for the small gifts that God had given to us in our lives. When one learns (and it takes practice) to focus day to day on gratitude and the blessings that we all have no matter how many things we DON'T have, it absolutely changes one's outlook and attitude.

This is not meant as a lecture. But it is a testament. It is a testament to what worked in my life. Those of us with the illnesses we fight day after day don't have to have happy holidays; holidays are terribly hard on us, I know this well. And it IS perfectly OK to not have happy holidays. After all, it's only one day out of the year. But we have so many others to enjoy. Because my son travels back and forth between his father and I, Christmas is whatever day we can all gather together. He usually flies on Christmas day because it's the cheapest. So, whatever day we make it Christmas day, that's the day it is!

Yeps. I agree.
Family is in the heart, not just the bloodline....(and thank God for that).

I have to admit, though, that I felt pretty crappy this holiday....the fact that I can't feel comfortable enough to call any of my family member's and wish them a happy holiday. Maybe that's of my own doing as I'm the one who chose to exile self from them all....which is good in it's own right.
Still....can't help but to miss them when it's been programmed into us the associations of holidays and family.

Just glad it's over with, for now...Now, onto getting past xmas...lol.

Shangrala

I share your experience Shangrala. I've had to put distance between myself and my family for my mental health. Even though it's the right thing to do, it still always makes the holidays at least a little difficult.

Being in Oz, we do not celebrate Thanksgiving, but as with most holidays(Xmas, Easter and so on) it is part of a media machine........we are bombarded with images of extreme joy and "family togetherness", when in reality these images are snapshots of a made up reality with lots of research and marketing behind it.....

In reality, families are dynamic and fluid.......sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. I have the great fortune in my 36th year of having my own small family, my son and fiance. For that I am very thankful and as much love as there is, there is also frustration and pain sometimes.......in the moments where things are still, we experience great joy, but mostly we are caught up in the grind of everyday.......and those fancy marketing shots bare little resemblance to truth......

Like someone quoted before "family is what you make it"........and we have family right here.......

So in the spirit of thanksgiving, I am thankful for my family(which includes my lovely dog!) and the technology that is available to provide connections from all around the world.......to create......family.......

Much love and big hugs to everyone at this time.......we are grateful for our precious selves and the time and personality we share with others right here.

Michah

I do try to make holidays too happy. I agree it doesn't always have to be soooo happy. I thought this thanksgiving was going to be bad but it turned out good so you never get what you think your going to get.

But I will try my best .