my youngest daughter is pregnant. she doesn't know that i know...she is addicted to meth. she called her sister and told her. the father is someone that i can hardly stand to be in the room with. he usually buys the meth. she hasn't used since she found out about the baby. when she was pregnant with bella, she quit smoking, eating sugar and everything else she thought would be harmful to the baby. we've been trying to get her into rehab for two years. she's 35 and we can't committ her. my oldest daughter and i have kept bella, who's 6, off and on for periods from 2 weeks to 5 or six months. she is pretty stable considering what she's gone through and is very close to her mom. i am praying that we get her for the entire summer.

i talked to my ER doc friend yesterday and he said if the initial sonargram was good, the physical will be okay. but, the addictive properties of meth may affect the baby's mental and emotional growth. i've been in shock since i found this out. my daughter and i haven't been talking lately. she let her car, that i co-signed on, get re=possessed and i had to eat the payments. she doesn't seem to bothered by that and i'm very bothered by it. i don't make enough to do that. when i call, i only get to talk to bella. i'd like to talk to her about her options, but she's made her mind up to go through with the pregnancy. says she is going to make the "father pay"..whatever that means. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee it's not a very good reason to become a mother, when you can't take care of what you've already got. (we have a college fund for bella, because we've believed for a very long time that we'll have her eventually.)

prayers, chants, vibes, meditative spells, hugs, kisses are all welcomed here at casa fayerody. xoxo pat

[nothemama8]

Pat, check out the post in Peace and it will help
Love
angie

[nightdream]

Being a mother is sometime very hard. You want to protect your children from hurt and pain.

When they become adult there is time when a daughter or a son do not want their mother's guidance. They want to do this on thier own even if it will bring other people in whatever they are planning.

My dear Pat, right now, I don't think there is much you can do for your daughter. Maybe with time she will listen and accept your guidance. I know you love her very much but sometime there is nothing you can do but hope.

(((((((((((((((((Pat))))))))))))))))))

nightdream

[January]

I wish I had some wonderful words of wisdom to give you, but I don't.... You and all of your family have my prayers, my best thoughts and my friendship.

Lots of hugs,

Jan

thank you all........this truly helps me. morti, that was the best hug that i've had today. i like squishy hugs.......to each and every one of you...this means so much.....xoxoxo

[jennie]

i believe your daughter's drug use goes beyond the physical and emotional addiction.

i have listened to an addict explain "why" he escaped through drug use . . . he said that he "wanted to get as close to death as he could get" without dying and that each time he used, he tried to get closer. i sensed he wanted to die.

the shame your daughter feels for not being the kind of mother she desires to be with her 6 years old, will help that cycle of addiction to continue. i believe she uses meth because she doesn't care if she dies.

how do you help someone who is suicidal? you can't "shame" them into counseling or rehab. somehow she has to find something worth living for . . . something worth getting well for . . . .

just my two cents

i would be "torn" too. ((((((((((((((((fayerody))))))))))))

[AllDone]

Oh, ((((((((((pat)))))))))). I'm sorry...this should be such a happy and exciting event, but instead you must be feeling such a range of emotions.

Children are such an awesome, beautiful gift that are only deserving of our love and the best care we can give. I hope your daughter comes to see that soon, but I am very glad Bella and the baby-to-be have such a wonderful grandma.

I will keep you, your daughter, Bella, and the new baby in my thoughts and prayers.

Take care and lots of hugs to you.

Laurie

thank you.....i wish that we lived in the same town..i'd feel more secure about she and bella.......i'm going to go down to austin, asap....

good to hear from you. i was thinking about you yesterday. how are you? xoxo pat

[mrb020377]

MY thoughts are with you!!!! This is a scary time for you. I will be here if you need someone to listen!!!!!!!

[gardenergirl]

Hi Pat,
I'm with Laurie on this one...Bella and her soon to be sibling couldn't be luckier than to have such a caring grandma.

Thinking of you,

gg