Views vs. Replies

I know this subject has probably been discussed may times before but I find it disturbing . Just expressing my own opinion .
How do you feel when you look at your thread and see there has been 40 views and not 1 reply. I wonder , is it just me?
I know you are going to say that people just don't know how to reply to some threads because they don't have the words or are scared they may offend someone. I try to reply to threads that have 0 replies as much as I can . I am no better than anyone else here and I understand why some don't reply. That is not an issue . The issue , and it may be my own , is that I wish there was at least a HIDE views option that members could enable if they felt like it. This is something that always has bothered me. Please forgive me if I caused a disturbance.

I don't know that you've caused a disturbance at all. It is a very valid concern as it bothers you. I do see your point, how it could be bothersome. I really have never thought of it. Maybe it is something you could message DocJohn about and see if it could be added as an option. You never know unless you ask!

(((((((((((((( BabySteps ))))))))))))))))

Did you ever think that some people may just read your post that arent members here at PC?

That's what happens at this other forum I go to. There are lurkers, guests that just come and read posts when they dont have an account at the site. They do so to try and gain more information/insight on how they feel about their situation.

Perhaps this is what is happening here.

That bothers me too, so no, you're not alone...

((((babysteps))))

I know that I personally will read a posts at times when I don't feel up to responding. Or I may read a post and feel that I need to take time to process the post and then come back later to answer. There is the other situation when I might feel like I can't give an adequate answer and so don't feel comfortable answering.

Hi Babysteps,

I understand what you're saying. I try hard to reply to those with minimal responses, especially when other posts have 200+ visits and 63 responses. It is frustrating to be the poster with zip response. I always feel hurt when I'm in that position.

Googley made a good point in that they aren't always emotionally or intellectually able to respond to the post. I'd like to add another possible reason in which people don't always respond. I can become overwhelmed by the large amount of information (or opinion) that I'm posting to the person. I don't want to hurt or bug the poster. So, I sometimes end up erasing the whole thing to give just a bland response. I've been kicked off the site for taking too long to respond as well. After giving a long, thought out and caring response, and it not being applied really ticks me off! Half of the time, I can't even go back and re-write a smaller portion. I have a very hard time finding the "right" words. In those times, I do give up. I'll then kick myself for not being able to summarize my post ~ and feel guilty.

Don't know if I'm completely abnormal to experience these things, but I usually presume so.

Same thing happens to me, Shez. Also, I read and read lots and lots of the forums that I have absolutely NO knowledge in just to learn things and believe me, I really do learn a lot from all of you guys here. It teaches me empathy for those who have to deal with things I have never had to deal with. I don't necessarily do any posting in those, but do show up in the statistics.

I'm really sorry it bothers you, Babysteps. It had never crossed my mind before. I actually do get ignored a lot because I post stupid stuff a lot of the time. But I'm used to that. I actually do also try to notice if no one's responded to someone's original thread and at least try to respond with something just so they know someone's listening.

I seldom look at the views. I'm pretty darn busy wondering why I seldom get any responses much less views.

I do periodically remind myself that I'm not responsible for what others do, and I understand how the not knowing can get your mind whirling with "possibilities".

For me, if I were to always measure my postings by the responses or views I receive then I may as well flush it all down the toilet. jmo

Yes (((((((babysteps)))))))) it bothers me too .... i write poems sometimes and they've gone off the page with loads of views and no replies, but there are lurkers and guests etc .... that may sound vain but i do like people to read my work. When it comes to posts I think sometimes people just don't know how to react or what to say, but it's nice when they give a hug like Fuzzy always does .... (((((Fuzzy)))))) I'm sorry you feel this way Babysteps .... sometimes it's our own insecurities which make us feel this way though and not because others are deliberately ignoring us or anything. Much love, Kerry xxx

What we cannot see , cannot hurt us......
Again , I'm not disputing WHY some viewers don't reply . I just read many myself. And I don't care if it's members or guests .
Ahh, what the heck do I know , just a small town man living in his own little world. I thank you for your replies , how big or small .
They all matter to me.

I do like to respond to posts when I can. I dont like to give a half baked answers. I also start reading some posts but then I find I dont have an adequate answer.... cos there is so much.. I don't have a phd in psychology and I don't want to clutter the boards.

I do like to leave a reply that is helpful where I can. Often I am just overwhelmed by the depth of pain. I dunno babysteps. Try not to count numbers if you can even those it is hard not to do.

We do care about you.

(((((((( Babysteps ))))))))))

Sorry you feel this way. It's a massive site with many heartfelt posts and even with the best will in the world I certainly can't reply to all of them. I'd have to be bionic, heck I reply to as much as I can in the time I have and with all the other responsibilities I have.

I don't think anyone needs to feel guilty about not replying and if someone has read it maybe you can look at it as you have helped someone in someway just having written it and had it read. Not everyone is in a good place to reply and as I said before it's a huge site.

Saying all that, you have had good replies to this thread, approximately 12 replies to 120 views is above average.

Take care.

Peg This is NOT about ME.
And I know most of us try our best to respond . This has turned out to be something that I had NOT intended it to be. I said twice in this thread that I UNDERSTAND why people sometimes don't reply. You're looking at it in a way that I'm trying to make people feel guilty about not posting
That is going to be possible IN SOME CASES, but overall I think people understand MY point .....which I will now put to bed.
Making mountains out of molehills is not my style. Hugs Peg.

I don't think you are making a mountain, Babysteps. Its a good point and it would help to be able to hide the view number. I know that its hurt me several times when I post something (especially because it takes a lot for me to get the courage to start a thread) and no one responds but it looks like 5 million people have read it.

I offered you a supportive reply, I'm not sure why you are on the offensive about this. You made a good point and it's ok for you to be honest and say about the views/replies, many people feel the same way but I wanted to give you the reasons why not everyone responds. ie It is impossible to reply to evey thread on the boards!.

Take care.

Dear Babysteps,
I too am sorry you feel this way. Googley & Shezbut and everybody else! all said it perfectly for me!! I read, read, read & read some more!Sometimes it may take 1 1/2 hrs for me to be happy w/ my reply to a post! I feel for the writers. The categories are many. This community is so supportive & caring Babysteps, extremely interested in your thoughts & ideas.

Holmes

Alot of times I don't feel that I have the right thing to say in response to many of the threads here because there are so many threads regarding therapy, therapists, medications, and results of them.

I've never had any T's, counselling, or even prescribed any meds. I don't feel I have the experience regarding any of that. Although I read as much as I can to try to gain understanding and knowledge....Now IF only I can remember what I read....lol.

I'm sorry that I don't reply to alot of these threads. I begin to?....but then find myself asking myself how I feel I have that right to....then...don't.

It's not that i don't care to, I do. I just feel I haven't the place to....?

Shangrala

I put a "Thank you" to all the replies that express better than I can do it what I would like to say; or to all replies that added a good answer, information, in my opinion. My English is awful and my phrases are twisted (my avoidance mechanism is another problem). I rarely get interested about a subject, if it's not for help; in the last situation I might think if I can really help. It's enough to re-read or ... "to sleep on it" when I am writing and I feel to delete all. Usually I am doing it! Therefore many times I think "what does it matter if I answered or not, who needs my view, words? Especially when I can hardly express anymore myself in a concise, efficient way?! I might harm instead of helping"

I would not like that "HIDE" options as I do not like the trigger icon either. And yes, I got triggered too! And what? We have to start to face our problems ... that's why we are here for. And we learn from others; HOW. Thank you for this thread that make us put in open our fears or views and see that we are not the only one feeling, thinking so!

I'm sorry that you find this distressing. Perhaps this is a simplistic answer, but just don't look at the views portion. Many times when I respond to a thread I'll start an answer, then not exactly recall something I'm responding to and I'll open another window and go to the thread and look over what's already been posted.

Other times a thread is difficult to read because the OP doesn't put any spaces in. I know our English classes have pounded into us that there must be at least six sentences in a paragraph, but in this medium it's just too difficult to read a huge post in one sitting. (Thank you again to the person that pointed this out to me my first post here.)

Still other times I read a post and think about it a great deal before I can organize my thoughts enough to give a cohesive response. So what I'm saying is I may read a thread 5 or 6 times before I respond.

Nobody needs to explain WHY they don't respond . There are many reasons as already pointed out by many of you. I'm not trying to get
more people to respond , who am I ?
I just get upset when I see the numbers ......that is all.
I'm sure others feel the same way.
I'll put a piece of masking tape on the right side of my monitor.
Problem solved. Feel free to do the same. Good idea , isn't it?

It bothers me, too. You're not alone. Interesting post!

(((((Babysteps)))))

At least now, reading this, we who worry about such things know we are not alone. It is one of the things on here that i can dwell on if im hyper and talking let alone down and over thinking. I, like you, know the reasons why people dont always reply as i dont always feel i can either. A hide option could be a good thing for some of us.

I understand your concern on this issue. For me, there are days when I reply quite a bit. Then there are days when I simply do not have the energy to reply. It takes thought and I find myself not wanting to think that hard. I will say that I would rather at least have folks reading my posts than for them to be ignored completely. I always appreciate the replys, but sometimes I feel fortunate to know someone cares enough to read my posts. Maybe I am simply trying to see the preverbially glass half full????

Can you teach me or is my mind made up?