[redredblueblue22]

I have a question and i was woundering if anyone nows the answer

First you need to no my issues i have Borderline personality disorder, Opisitional diffience dissorder, Bipolar disorder, Adhd, Depression,and ptsd'

Now that you no that you might be able to help me. I dont like to and wont look at people in there eyes when i am talking to them or they are talking to me does that ahev enything to do with my issues?

[shezbut]

Makes me think low self-esteem.

But, I'm no expert.

[bebop]

yep low self esteem

[ECHOES]

Yes it says you don't like being looked at... being seen..
It might make you feel as if the other can see inside you, to know things about you by just looking at you. But they only know things about you that you choose to tell them.

I was taught to feel unworthy
to be ashamed of myself
to never be able to do anything right
I was stupid.

Which all made me who I've been trying to repair: very low self-esteem.

BUT remember, please. You're here. You've made it. You're sharing, asking and reaching out.

You are as good as anyone else....

And I bet you have pretty eyes

suggestion: talking in the mirror eye to eye

[VickiesPath]

When I was young, my parents made me feel like I was ugly. (No exageration.) Therefore, I always looked at the ground when walking, and rarely looked into anyone's eyes when speaking. I felt like it hurt them to have to look at my face. I definitely had low self-esteem.

Also, later, I felt like if I didn't look at someone when I was talking to them, they could only know what I said to them and could not look into my eyes and see anything else. It was a way to protect myself from them knowing too much about me. And, if they had anything negative to say back at me, they also would not see the tears in my eyes if they hurt my feelings.

[shezbut]

((((Vickie))))

I can feel that pain and shame ~ that's exactly how I was until around age 16. From there, my technique of avoiding showing my shame to others changed. Your post just got my heart pounding and I had to respond!

[Trying & Caring]

You mentioned you had the dx of PTSD (& borderline & bipolar, I believe). I also have those dxes & have found a lot of help w/EMDR, but not looking at people in the eyes or even looking UP--like I am usually looking down all the time is part of my dissociating--making me feel "unreal."

So through indiv. therapy & DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) I am learning to "ground" myself--hard to explain, but to almost try to make myself feel "real." So I look UP at things around the room & try to make myself feel solid instead of in a vapor & look in people's eyes...

It is a learing process, but it does work!

[lonegael]

HI Redred! It could be lack of self esteem, but it is also good to remember that for us Humans, with our ties to primates and all, prolonged eye contact, esp. with strangers can be very triggering. Some cultures see it as an aggressive act. It sounds like all that you have mentioned in your post, such as your current concerns, may have lead you to be a bit too open to signals sent by others (which I can betya' doesn't help with esteem either) and so eyecontact might be very anxiety producing. JUst my theory. I think the suggestion of practicing with the mirror is great! you might want to keep record of how well you do and feel each time to see how well you do and so younotice progress. Just a thought, dear! hugggsss!

[mlpHolmes]

Lonegal

I'm sorry you are not feeling well. I hope your day turns around so you're doing much better!!!

Much happiness to You,
Holmes