[spacecase]

It's something I recently noticed about myself. I can convince myself of anything. For example, I'll be walking my dog and for whatever reason I'll consider the possibility that a cougar could be lurking in the shadows (... in central Illinois, heh...) just waiting to pounce on me, and then I suddenly believe that this really WILL happen and I rush home as fast as I can.

Or I'll be with my friends and they'll tease me in a friendly manner, and the thought pops into my head that they could actually think horrible of me, and then I think they really do and I began hating them for thinking of me that way.

It's so weird and difficult to explain. Sometimes though, I can't decide if, when in situations like these, my paranoia is justified or if I'm being rediculous. Once I make myslef believe something I can't stop obsessing over it. The situation I described above ( with my friends) happens quite frequently. We click so well sometimes and I often have all the love in the world for them, but other times I for some little reason or no reason at all, I think that it's all fake and they're really conspiring behind my back or something. It's so frustrating.

It may be worthwhile for you to talk to a professional about this.

[Pomegranate]

Hi spacecase. I have this problem also, the paranoid thinking. I find that if I'm off my antidepressant and anxiety meds, or under too much stress in one form or another, my paranoid thinking gets worse. (I'm in centralish Illinois also, never have worried about cougars. But the corn snakes creep me out - actually had one in my backyard.)

As long as I'm on my meds and keep my social interactions to a minimum I do pretty well. I hope you have better luck than I did trying to make the people connection work. I tried my best for a long time, but I would even get paranoid thoughts about my therapists. I would talk about it with them but it didn't help. Just made me feel and act worse.

Wish I could be more helpful. I have learned to be okay with my situation - solitude is better than all the turmoil, anger and acting crazy I did trying to be "normal." I realize now that much of my paranoia comes from my PTSD, from way back in my childhood. But that hasn't really helped me not think and feel paranoid, when I get that way nothing can convince me I'm "just being paranoid." I'm positive that people around me are conspiring to hurt me. I've learned how to manage it, not fix it.

[salukigirl]

I had those kinds of thoughts and my T called it hypervigilance. I would check my car convinced someone was hiding in the backseat waiting. I couldn't go to the dumpster at night because I just knew someone was inside and going to attack me. Which are absolutely ridiculous ideas....but I was certain of them. I used to be in an abusive relationship and watched my parents fight constantly. And with therapy and talking through all of those complicated emotions and him making me realizing how those things would never actually happen....I eventually quit having them. It took several months of therapy but I feel so much better now.

[Trying & Caring]

I had that;for example, my husband & I were walking a very popular trail but nobody else was on the trail despite it being a beautiful Sun. morning so I immediately concluded that there was a serial killer on the trail & we hadn't watched the news to know this. Husband said that was a not logical conclusion. Ended up the parking area was blocked off due to resurfacing or something & we could walk from our house to the trial so didn't need to use the parking lot....

Typical thoughts for me which DBT is helping a lot.

Jump to very negative conclusions...

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by spacecase

It's something I recently noticed about myself. I can convince myself of anything. For example, I'll be walking my dog and for whatever reason I'll consider the possibility that a cougar could be lurking in the shadows (... in central Illinois, heh...) just waiting to pounce on me, and then I suddenly believe that this really WILL happen and I rush home as fast as I can.

Or I'll be with my friends and they'll tease me in a friendly manner, and the thought pops into my head that they could actually think horrible of me, and then I think they really do and I began hating them for thinking of me that way.

It's so weird and difficult to explain. Sometimes though, I can't decide if, when in situations like these, my paranoia is justified or if I'm being rediculous. Once I make myslef believe something I can't stop obsessing over it. The situation I described above ( with my friends) happens quite frequently. We click so well sometimes and I often have all the love in the world for them, but other times I for some little reason or no reason at all, I think that it's all fake and they're really conspiring behind my back or something. It's so frustrating.

my therapist calls this the power of suggestion. my therapist is a hypno therapist she says Some peoples brains are more suseptible to the power of suggestion and others arent. like people who are hypnotized. if they are not the least suseptible they cant be guided to relax and go into deep trance states. some people who are go under hypnosis in a snap. some people can suggest to their self something is going to happen and end up believing it, sometimes even to the point where their bodys start acting on that suggestion. another example my therapist used was having head lice. she asked me if I had ever had them and just that question made me start wanting to itch my head and I wondered for days if the people I was coming in contact with had lice and I had my partner check my hair every day after work. I didnt have lice but just the idea of it made me itchy and anxious about it.

[VickiesPath]

Originally Posted by salukigirl

I had those kinds of thoughts and my T called it hypervigilance. I would check my car convinced someone was hiding in the backseat waiting. I couldn't go to the dumpster at night because I just knew someone was inside and going to attack me. Which are absolutely ridiculous ideas....but I was certain of them. I used to be in an abusive relationship and watched my parents fight constantly. And with therapy and talking through all of those complicated emotions and him making me realizing how those things would never actually happen....I eventually quit having them. It took several months of therapy but I feel so much better now.

I hear what you're saying, salukigirl. It's referred to as "hypervigilence" in those of us with PTSD because it goes with our diagnosis. I was always looking for hidden danger. Because my parents were alcoholic, before I knew anything about the syndrom, I used to call it "lying in wait" because we kids would be tiptoeing about the house when it got close to the time that dad would come home from work or if we knew the bars were closing because we were afraid of what condition they would be in when they came through the door.

I also used to think that people could see me if I was outside in the garage after dark, tinkering with things, or if I was in the bathroom doing bathroom stuff, they could see through the curtains, or any number of things that I would be on my guard about. I, too, would check in the back floorboards of the car before I would get in to go somewhere. God, it was emotionally draining. It's a different thing expecting imminent danger (like a couger attack) than simply expecting something to cause distress (a parent having a tantrum over something ridiculous). One is more unlikely. The other is highly possible.

I can't ever remember being relaxed as a child. It took me a long time as an adult to learn to feel safe. I had to get away from the danger. It took a long time to unlearn that practice.