[Renovation]

I have a business situation where I am counting on a former business colleague to make a decision that will allow me to relaunch my business. I can't go into the details but basically it entails getting this person's permission to move forward. We spoke a few months ago and he told me he would give me permission assuming certain conditions. I sent this person an email a couple of days ago asking to set up a time for us to speak. I don't expect to hear back from him until next week.

I am afraid that he may turn me down although based on the last time we spoke he said he would be supportive. I realize I am being partly paranoiac but I have a lot to lose if he says "no". Relaunching this business is my dream and it's scary that I may not be able to realize it based on one person's decision.

Having said all this, this person has been a supporter in the past and without him I could not have started the business to begin with. I am truly grateful to him for that. Yesterday I met with a friend who advised me to not ruminate on the possibility of a negative outcome but instead to focus on the very possible outcome that things will workout. He said I have a choice in terms of what "movie" I want to replay in my head until I hear back. I like this analogy. As the "director" it really boils down to me making a choice as to whether I want this story to be about fear and anger or gratitude and optimism. Both stories are possible and, realistically, the happy ending story is very likely. I can definitely picture in my mind having a great discussion with this person and very genuinely thanking him for all the support he has given me. He is a really good person at heart. That's a nice story. I'll choose that one.

Lately, I have really been trying to work on putting positive energy out into the world but every now and then I run into an issue that derails me and I start worrying again. I am finding that the best antidotes for these remissions are prayer (to ask for courage and give thanks) and focusing on making other people happy through kindness and compassion.

Ok, that was helpful. Thank you PC!

[lynn P.]

I hope your discussion with your colleague turns out very well. Best of luck with your new business plans. You're in my thoughts and prayers ((Renovation))

[catrules]

I am just trying to think about expanding the small business that I have, but feel sometimes like I can't rely on myself. I really hope that you are able to realize your own dream

You have a lot of emotion invested in your former colleague's decision. You have done what you could. Being a fussbudget only exhausts you. I hope you are able to find a way to ratchet back the anxiety while you are waiting for a decision.

[Renovation]

Thank you for your support. I heard back from my colleague and he was actually quite gracious and excited to hear from me. We are due to speak later this week.

[sanityseeker]

I love that Renovation. The movie director analogy is great. I suppose it is about trying to pretect ourselves from disappointment that we try to prepare ourselves for the worse case scenerio but it makes much more sense health wise to opt for hoping for the best.

Awesome too that you heard back from your colleague to reinforce the postive movie version. Good luck.

A learning you might carry forward from this in addition to the power of positive thinking is to avoid however possible having all your eggs in one basket. To always have a plan B, C and even D so that you have more control over your future. It would have been horrible to see your dreams crushed because there was only one way to get there.

[msolson81]

Good luck! I hope all turns out well. I can relate to the whole thinking the worst scenario. For me it has been automatic, but I too have been trying to change my outlook. I also think the movie analogy is spot on. Thanks for sharing

[pegasus]

Originally Posted by Renovation

I have a business situation where I am counting on a former business colleague to make a decision that will allow me to relaunch my business. I can't go into the details but basically it entails getting this person's permission to move forward. We spoke a few months ago and he told me he would give me permission assuming certain conditions. I sent this person an email a couple of days ago asking to set up a time for us to speak. I don't expect to hear back from him until next week.

I am afraid that he may turn me down although based on the last time we spoke he said he would be supportive. I realize I am being partly paranoiac but I have a lot to lose if he says "no". Relaunching this business is my dream and it's scary that I may not be able to realize it based on one person's decision.

Having said all this, this person has been a supporter in the past and without him I could not have started the business to begin with. I am truly grateful to him for that. Yesterday I met with a friend who advised me to not ruminate on the possibility of a negative outcome but instead to focus on the very possible outcome that things will workout. He said I have a choice in terms of what "movie" I want to replay in my head until I hear back. I like this analogy. As the "director" it really boils down to me making a choice as to whether I want this story to be about fear and anger or gratitude and optimism. Both stories are possible and, realistically, the happy ending story is very likely. I can definitely picture in my mind having a great discussion with this person and very genuinely thanking him for all the support he has given me. He is a really good person at heart. That's a nice story. I'll choose that one.

Lately, I have really been trying to work on putting positive energy out into the world but every now and then I run into an issue that derails me and I start worrying again. I am finding that the best antidotes for these remissions are prayer (to ask for courage and give thanks) and focusing on making other people happy through kindness and compassion.

Ok, that was helpful. Thank you PC!

Not trying to be negative here but it is also ok to realise that there are other possibilities if this does not work out. I tend to think along the lines that if something doesn't work out then it wasn't meant to be. That means I can let it go quicker rather than ruminating on what could have been.

I wish you luck with your meeting and hope it goes the way you would like it too.

[Renovation]

I ended up having a very good phone conversation with this person and one of their colleagues. I put myself into the frame of mind that I was reconnecting with two dear friends with whom I had not spoken in a long time. I also encouraged myself to be "authentic". In other words, to not try to be too business-like but let my personality come out. The result was a very agreeable conversation. They said they would support my restarting the company.

There was one issue that came up that seems resolvable but until we work it out, we can't move forward. The issue is somewhat out of my hands, so a bit frustrating. It also involves a third person, who has worked behind my back. I can't discuss details but it is a bit infuriating that someone else would try to take away my opportunity to which I have devoted the last 5 years of my life.

My former colleagues are supposed to take a next step, which should happen in the next couple of days. Once this step happens, then we are off to the races. I try not to get nervous but until they take this next step, it's just words. I am trying not to get too anxious about this but there is so much at stake for me that I almost can't help getting nervous. I find myself checking email every 2 minutes to see if they have responded.

I am going to take the attitude that they will keep their word and move forward.