[Renovation]

I am so frustrated that I have not gotten back a response to three different emails I sent to this person. Is it so freaking hard to simply reply back: Got your email. Will be sending the item you requested out today. I mean how long does that take? How freaking difficult is this? Granted this person did call me yesterday and left me a pleasant voicemail. I responded via email and have still not heard back. When you're in my situation (unemployed and dependent on these people to restart a business), minutes feel like hours and days feel like weeks. All indications are that this person is going to proceed as we agreed but I need a definitive answer. There are other people besides me that are depending on their response.

We had agreed over a week ago that we would be moving forward and, as of right now, they still have not sent me the item I am expecting. If you say you are going to do something, then do it! Or if you are not going to be able to get it done in the agreed upon timeframe, at least have the professional courtesy to get back to me and say, "It's going to be a few days longer because..." This way I at least know that they are going to follow through.

To make matters worse, some former colleagues are trying to go behind my back and screw me big time. Can't go into details but it sure is infuriating that someone would try to steal my idea. I am so angry about this. I don't know this for a fact but it seems likely. I am waiting to hear back to try to get more information but so far have not had success in trying to reach who I need to reach.

That emoticom made me smile.

[lynn P.]

I hear you (((Renovation))). Wouldn't it be nice if you could win the lottery and then see who would be knocking on your door, claiming you're the best buddy in the world. We own a small business and recently went through a crisis - amazing when you're doing well you have all kinds of friends and when you're down they scatter like roaches. Take some deep breaths and I hope you get relief soon.

Keep on posting, Renovation.

[sanityseeker]

Hope that helped a little and that everything works out for you.

[Renovation]

So I ended up calling the person from whom I was expecting an email response and had a very good conversation. She will be sending out the item but lawyers ended up getting involved so I had to sign some additional paperwork. The good news is that the next step I wanted to happen is happening. The challenge is that there is this person who is trying to take my idea. Can't go into more details but my feeling is that they are trying to take advantage of a distressed situation. What I'm not sure they fully appreciate is that they are trying to take away my potential source of livelihood. What's even more angering is to think that a group of former employees maybe in cahoots.

A lesson I learned from the Feeling Good book is not to catastrophize. So while there might be some discussions taking place between former associates, it doesn't mean that they have the means or intention to steal my idea. The odds are in my favor but it sure is a pain in the behind to go through this process.

[sanityseeker]

No doubt! I suppose one positive twist you could put on it is that their interest confirms you have a good idea.

Moving quickly seems to be your very best strategy and you seem well on top of that.

Is there anyway you can secure ownership of your idea? Have you pursued that with a lawyer?

"Let us learn to appreciate there will be times when the trees will be bare, and look forward to the time when we may pick the fruit." ~Anton Chekhov

[Renovation]

I am still not clear how things might turn out. I have do everything "right" to finally put myself in a position to restart my business then out of the blue a former colleague comes along and is looking into taking the opportunity away. I can't give too many details but what's frustrating is that this person knows that starting this business was my dream and I have spent the last 5 years of my life working on it.

I have a number of choices in terms of what I can do next. I am reaching out to another former colleague, who I suspect might be involved with the other former colleague that is trying to take away my opportunity. I emailed this person a couple of days ago. He used to work for me. I gave him a great reference that allowed him to get a great job. He was very thankful and said he would help me in any way he can. Well now he can help me in any way he can but he has not responded, so I sent another email this email and I may call him this weekend. Having him in my corner would pretty much seal my deal. The problem is that he has a side business that might benefit from aligning with the other guy.

I have been primarily focusing on my challenges but this other person also has his challenges. He would need to come up with a fair amount of money, which he would have to get from someone else, to even get a right to use the idea. He would need to come up with a fair amount of money to pay other people to work on developing the product. He would have to come up with a fair amount of money to pay employees. He would have to find people who had specific skills that are not easy to find. Also, even if he develops the product there is no guarantee that there will be a market for the product, especially a large one. He is not about to quit his job to work on this full-time and he doesn't have the requisite experience.

I can imagine all sorts of worst case scenarios for myself but I also need to think about worst case scenarios for him. The odds are against him. I am going to noodle on this a bit more. Thanks PC for giving me a place to vent and structure & assess my thoughts.

[sanityseeker]

I am impressed with how well you are talking charge of your thinking. Don't give him too much time. You have much bigger fish to fry so to speak. Good luck with your new venture. Take good care.

[Renovation]

Had an email exchange with the former colleague that used to work for me today. The great news is that I have nothing to worry about. He is not siding with the outsider as I had dreaded. We are going to have lunch in a couple of weeks. This is a good guy to have in my camp. He is a great guy and I am relieved that our relationship is still strong.

It's easy to catatrophize when the stakes are high but I am feeling good about how I am managing my emotions as I go through this process of restarting my business. I see a psychologist, which is hugely helpful. I have an incredible wife, who is super supportive and insightful. I have used this period of high stress to motivate to get into the gym, which is something that gives me great pleasure and a sense of accomplishment. Given that I am without a job, going to the gym practically every day is a way to bring some sense of structure into my life as well as a great way to work off the stress and anger. I have been writing in my journal more than ever and having PC as a place where I can share my worries and have so many wonderful people give me their support makes me feel like I am not alone - so thank you PC!
I am starting to see a bit of light at the end of the tunnel.
I am a fighter and I don't give up.