[Indie'sOK]

Today my best friend of 6+ years told me he is bisexual. This totally shocked me, because I'd never thought he was. My other friend came out as well on Tuesday, and last year, another friend. That makes about 6 people I know that are bisexual. I do not have a problem with this, don't get me wrong. But what my best friend told me today, I'm having a hard time accepting because it was such a shock. I don't have a crush on him, but I can't help but wonder if some of these kids are confused... I feel like a major hypocrite for feeling this way. I don't have a problem with homosexuality or bisexuality, so I don't know why I'm feeling like this. I was raised in a conservative environment, my mother a devout Catholic, and lately I've been getting away from that. I want to be more accepting than my parents, and I've been standing up for my beliefs. This is just really making me feel bad because I don't want to feel like this towards my friend...

There's my rant. I hope I don't offend anyone. It was not my intention. Believe me, I do feel bad about how I feel.

It could be shock value of hearing a secret like that. I mean, that's a lot to drop on someone all of the sudden. In time, you'll get used to it, and you'll be able to see past his sexual orientation. And just remember that he's the same person that he was before.

[salukigirl]

When I was 15 a lot of my friends were "bisexual" too. Now most of them are straight and I think it was mostly just exploration. The important thing is to be open to them to listen. I think most people go through a little curiosity or confusion at that age. With that said, you really can't help how you feel. As long as your supportive you are always entitled to your feelings and your opinion.

[Indie'sOK]

I feel like my friendship is falling apart because of this. My friend and I don't believe he really is, we just think he might be confused. He says he is and that he doesn't need to prove himself. Why is this happening? I don't want my friendship to end because of something stupid like this. I feel like it's my fault for being such a hypocrite. Frankly I don't know if I'm going to get used to this or not... hate me if you will, but this is how I feel and like salukigirl said, I can't help how I feel. I WANT to accept this, I just don't know if I can.

[Elysium]

Indie...sexuality, in my belief, is on a continuum. It is very possible that your friend is confused, but if I remember correctly, you and your friends are fairly young adults. Life is about learning about yourself and growing into your own values and morals and lifestyles.

Sometimes being confused is okay. Sometimes being confused is the most inspiring state to be in. You have an opportunity to explore the world and you are not held down by anyone else's lifestyles or beliefs.

Maybe he is bi, maybe he is not. Sometimes you have to walk down a road and experience things for yourself to see if it's right for you and sometimes you don't. This is your friends time to walk his road. If he realizes it's not who he is, he will make another road and find his own path.

I encourage you to be patient with your feelings. You're not a hypocrite just because you think he might not be bi. You're entitled to your thoughts and beliefs, and you may be right. But ultimately, your friend is the one who has to learn this from his own experiences.

The best thing you can do is be patient with him while he explores who he is. Be there for him to listen when he needs someone, offer him open minded guidance. You know that you are an open minded person, and I'm sure you would care for this person regardless of his sexual orientation. I think sometimes it's just hard to watch someone we care about go down a new road. We worry about them, that they will be hurt, or get lost. But with a tolerant and good friend like you, regardless of what roads he walks down, I don't think he would ever get lost with you by his side.

[Ascension]

I think it's important to remember and patient with the fact that just like you are trying to figure out who you are after being in a conservative family that molded you, your friend is trying to figure out who he is. We all experience feelings that at times make us question ourselves and if we are good people at one point or another. I agree with Elysium. Support each other on your own journey to self discovery. Don't be too critical of yourself or your friend, there are plenty of other people in the world who will do that to you and your friends. Support each other as you can and you will both be better for it.

[Shangrala]

Originally Posted by IndieSoul

Today my best friend of 6+ years told me he is bisexual. This totally shocked me, because I'd never thought he was. My other friend came out as well on Tuesday, and last year, another friend. That makes about 6 people I know that are bisexual. I do not have a problem with this, don't get me wrong. But what my best friend told me today, I'm having a hard time accepting because it was such a shock. I don't have a crush on him, but I can't help but wonder if some of these kids are confused... I feel like a major hypocrite for feeling this way. I don't have a problem with homosexuality or bisexuality, so I don't know why I'm feeling like this. I was raised in a conservative environment, my mother a devout Catholic, and lately I've been getting away from that. I want to be more accepting than my parents, and I've been standing up for my beliefs. This is just really making me feel bad because I don't want to feel like this towards my friend...

There's my rant. I hope I don't offend anyone. It was not my intention. Believe me, I do feel bad about how I feel.

I agreee with all of your replies. They're all very accurate.
Have the patience and support for your friend during his time of self-exploration. Support eachother and pass no judgements. This is a time when patience and understanding is needed the most.
And like Acension said so well, there will be enough of others who will be critical and hard on you as it already is. Please try not to add to that pressure and stess.

You've mentioned the fact that you are ok with the idea that your other friends have admitted their sexual preferences, yet your state that you feel "different" regarding your best friend. Maybe it is because of the shock of it, (as above suggested), and you just need some time to adjust to the news because he is so special to you?

Patience. All will be fine.

Take good care~

Shangrala

[PeculiarGroove]

I agree with a lot of the previous posts. Of course there is a chance that your friend may well be confused - however, it might be the right thing for him. But it will take time for him to work this out, and all you can do as a friend is be there and support him whatever his choice.

Don't feel bad about being shocked - it doesn't mean you have a problem with it as such it's just someone you've known for a long time has suddenly told you that how you invisioned them before is slightly different to how they actually feel. You are bound to feel a bit unsteady and it will take you some time to come to terms with it to - even if that is just adjusting to seeing your friend in a different way. The fact that you are worried you are being a hypocrite shows how much you care about your friend and I really think that if you try to accept your feeling at the moment as a transition of sorts, you will begin to get used to this new development. It's also a testament to your friendship that your friend felt he was able to tell you this - i've known many people who felt they could not tell their friends. Don't be too hard on yourself x

[jennaorgana]

i didnt really read the responses, so i am sorry if i repeat what others have said before me.

my best friend wes came out as bisexual when we were 15. at 16 he came out as gay. no one even suspected it. i, too, had the BIGGEST crush on him. at first i was hurt because there i was, always there for him. i always thought we would end up together, as dumb as that sounds. when i realized there was no chance, i felt robbed of an incredible opportunity.

well, i turned out okay i am sorry you are feeling so bad about this. you really shouldn't. you arent a hypocrite or anything of the sort. and how great that you have a place like this that can be a place for you to rant!!

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