[birdcrazy]

I still can't figure this out, one of my former roommates was saying things that didn't make sense to me. All I can remember was she pointed out that I had a hard time understanding complex metaphors and my hearing was good. She hinted later she was not talking about an autism spectrum disorder, so I don't know what she was getting at. She seemed upset with me, saying "You are so smart, yet so dumb sometimes, can't you see what's wrong with you?"

I had a later roommate ask me if I "liked things very much" but she wouldn't say what she meant either. She said she thought I had a mental disorder but didn't say what earlier in that conversation. My mind of course imagined she was accusing me of an autism spectrum disorder, but I dunno.

Now I'm dxed schizoaffective, could these people have tried to tell me that? Or something else???

[loveregardless]

Even if you are not dx with an autism spectrum disorder there could be aspects of that spectrum that apply to you, or any other person for that matter. Having difficulty with abstract and vague statements or metaphors could certainly be a part of that. I understand that your friends were frustrated when trying to talk to you, but it doesn't sound like they were doing it very nicely, and if they were truly concerned for you I would hope they would handle your feelings with a bit more care.

I do not know what they were trying to tell you, other than it seems clear that they were expressing their frustration in not being able to communicate with you in what they consider an effective way. This can be very frustrating for me with basically everyone I try to communicate with from time to time, because as humans, it can be hard using language to try to communicate something non-verbal.

With a bird, my understanding is that communication is much clearer than it is with humans, which is perhaps why you are so drawn to them and your love of bird songs. The rhythms and notes are used to express what they are trying to say, and having to choose one of many words that means the same thing, or close to the same thing but kind of different, can be really confusing and causes a lot of trouble for people in life, on this forum, and basically any time they come into play. Words are like a puzzle. When you put them together one way, they mean something. Then when you take those same words and put them together another way, they can mean something completely different. Does that make sense?

Hope this helps.

Can you ask your friends to try to explain what they meant to you?

[lynn P.]

Great post Loveregardless. I agree your friends weren't being very kind and you don't deserve to be treated this way, just because you don't understand something.

[birdcrazy]

Thanks for that. Anyway I lost contact with these people over the years, so I cannot ask.

I don't have problems with most simple metaphors though, like "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" and my favorite "thin as a rail" which actually refers to a thin rail bird!

As one who has spent a large part of his life in a profession that required good communication skills I am constantly reminded of how difficult the process is. Although not directly on point, I found this interesting: http://personalitycafe.com/nfs-tempe...e-another.html

I realize I am talking nonsense. Even so, birdcrazy, I quite understand your frustration.

Do not despair, however. A soulmate need not necessarily share an identical perspective to be a soulmate; neither does a friend. All that is required is a healthy dose of compatibility (in your case, another NF is best) and a mutual interest in maintaining the friendship/relationship. The process of overcoming your differences is a worthy tribulation that reaps equally worthy rewards - ultimately adding more value to your friendship and strengthening the bond between you two.

[1flagwriter]

Great story you just shared...I'd be intested in learning more about the condition...

[Psyched]

birdcrazy- I can't write anything better than what has already been written by the responses you've received. I just wanted to tell you that the bird in your avatar pic is absolutely beautiful & I appreciate it every time I see it.

[birdcrazy]

Originally Posted by Psyched

birdcrazy- I can't write anything better than what has already been written by the responses you've received. I just wanted to tell you that the bird in your avatar pic is absolutely beautiful & I appreciate it every time I see it.

It's an Indigo Bunting from Eastern North America. It's pretty common and has a lovely song too.