[HZ3006]

I have no clue why I do this, but for some reason when I am with people I wish I was alone and I try and get myself alone and away from other people, but then when I am alone I feel lonely and sad and I get angry that people aren't there for me. This started 2-3 years ago and I don't know exactly why.
Is this normal? What is going on with me?

Hmm..intresting, for 2-3 years? Hmm. Ever talk to a doctor about this? Are you seeing a counselor or therapist?

[HZ3006]

Actually, no I'm not. I want to, but I am having trouble talking to anyone about this, like my parents at the moment, and I feel like someone is just going to make me feel like a loser (which I know isn't true about therapy, but you don't know them).

Hmm, if you are a teen, this may be a teen thing, but I still won't forget the 2-3 year thing...I say go for it and tell a doc as soon as you can. Better be safer than sorry!
PC can only help for so long..so, the faster you get this addressed, the better. You don't have to talk to your parents necessarily (although, it's a GREAT idea), but just tell him/her, anything you say is not silly or embarassing to talk about!
There's nothing to lose, only gain!

[loveregardless]

HZ, have you ever read the book, The Phantom Tollbooth?

It is one of my very favorite books from childhood, and what's so great about it, is that it is definitely not a "kids book", it's something that a kid or an adult would enjoy. In fact, I still read it every few years because I love it that much.

This is a quote from the beginning of that book :

There once was a boy named Milo who didn't know what to do with himself - not just sometimes, but always.

When he was in school he longed to be out, and when he was out he longed to be in. On the way he thought about coming home, and coming home he thought about going. Wherever he was he wished he were somewhere else, and when he got there he wondered why he'd even bothered. Nothing really interested him - least of all the things that should have.

... While he was never anxious to be where he was going, he liked to get there as soon as possible. It seemed a great wonder that the world, which was so large, could sometimes feel so small and empty.

I think you would really enjoy the book. I know I always have.

Hope this helps.

[sorrel]

What happened 2-3 years ago?
What's your experience of other people?

[thine_self_untrue]

I feel this way too. I want it, but I don't want it and I honestly don't know what the deal is. Ugh- it infuriates me!

[HZ3006]

I really don't know if it had anything to do with something that happened then, but it MIGHT be my problems with relationships in my life... I had one boyfriend who I thought was right for me just because I thought It was 'supposed' to happen and not because I wanted it to. I finally broke up with him, and started dating a guy who was not good for me. He was not my type and he did things that I didn't like, like party too much. I broke up with him and for a while I decided dating was not right for me, so I started hanging out with this guy, and I did a lot of things I'm not proud of (not meaning everything) and he never talked to me after. I felt like it was forced and I didn't feel right for so long.
I don't know if all this is the reason, but it may be part of it.

[Perna]

Oh! I did that all the time growing up! Drove me crazy! :-) I didn't want to go/do what family or friends were doing but then I'd be lonely and wish I'd gone/done it.

If I could do things over, I would have made myself go/do. Usually I've noticed that once I'm somewhere and doing something I enjoy it, it's the "getting there" that is the problem.