Spilling the beans...

Ok... Here goes. I've been thinking long and hard about this. I decided to let the staff know, but wasn't sure if I should let the general public of PC know or not... but here goes. Many of you know that I have suffered from acid reflux for a while now. I've suffered from it for a number of years before geting it treated. That was my mistake. When acid reflux is left untreated it can cause cancer in the throat. The problem is that I've let it go for so long that I've developed cancer of the throat. I've let it go for so long that the cancer has spread to my brain. The doctors I've seen haven't given me much hope for survival. A couple months at best. I've been looking into my options for treatment and I'll be trying whatever treatment seems to have the best promise for recovery. Unfortunately the docs have said that even with treatment, I still don't have much hope for survival. I just thought that you all should know EXACTLY what's been going on with me. I love every member here with all my heart and soul and hope that you all find nothing but happiness in your lives. If/when I recover from this, I plan on returning to PC in full force. But for now, I must leave and focus on my treatment. You cannot believe the pain it causes me to leave this community. To leave you all... my friends... my brothers... my sisters... behind. If there were another way, believe me, I'd find it. I'm the one that could. But for now I have to focus on me... my health... my treatment. And if I don't see you in the near future, I'll see you in the end. Dear friends, know that I love you all. Know that I cherish everything that you have given me. The support, the friendship, the love. Everything. I'm still here for a couple of days so if you have any questions or concerns please feel free to send them my way. I love you all... more than you will ever know.

All the love that one heart and soul has to give,
Ry

Oh. My. God.

RYAN.... I don't know what to say. I'm stunned. And so so SO sorry...

I need to think about this. Be good...
LMo

((((((((((((((((Ry))))))))))))))) I am so so sorry Please know how much you are loved. I have PMd you
(((((((((((((((((((Ry)))))))))))))))))))))

((((((((((Ry))))))))))) So sorry to hear this Best of luck with the treatment, hang in there - don't give up. I'm really at a loss of words. Sorry!
Love Claire

Ryan,
You are a fine man with immeasurable gifts and dignity. I'm praying without reservation.

((((((((((((((((((((Ryan))))))))))))))))))) You are a brave strong man and we admire you so much. Do what you need to do and know you are loved. Thank you for telling us Ryan. That shows your love for us in that you care enough to tell us. Thank you.

All my best,
wantto

Ryan,
You know we all love you, and we are here. I hope you got my PM's and were able to read them.
Please take care now,

Love,
Rosanne

(((((((((((((( Ryan ))))))))))))

(((((Ryan)))))

You are such a brave guy. You are in my thoughts. There really are no words...except maybe a country song that keeps running through my head.

Bad things happen to good people and it stinks.

((((((((((Ryan))))))))))

Ryan while i dont know you but ive seen whats happened i want to say im sorry and thank you for the advice as well, i know all about acid reflux and i did something once i tried everything in the book which was about 6 months of tums this and pepcid that .. finally i went to my doctor and now for the last three years ive been on "Protonix"

Ryan is right folks dont wait, if eating habits and things dont change it get to a doctor and it will help alot. I cant go a day without my meds once its at the 30 hour mark my insides are on fire (mind you eating bread, a glass of milk etc. dont help)

I use protonix 40mg but theres the purple pill and several others not only do they help you reducing the acid but youll sleep and other things alot better.

I was very sorry to hear of it when I first heard it.... Our heartfelt wishes go out to you Ryan....

{{{{{{{{{{{ Ryan }}}}}}}}}}}}}

((((((((ryan)))))))))))))))))

Hey guy! I know that there you are pretty scared right now. I am scared for you. You are strong! YOU are a SURVIVOR!!!!!!
My thoughts are with you!!!

.........words fail me ry.......thank you for being so open with us......i love you and will pray for your recovery.......love you

Ryan, fight it like the champion, that you are!!! xoxo Pat

Ryan, I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. I don't want to sound lame my friend. Take it from the source. I spoke with a friend who has had cancer and asked her about her attitude during the whole thing, how did she maintain her positive attitude? She told me that she was very open with everyone who asked about the process and welcomed the treatment into her body while at the same time telling her body that it could protect the healthy parts from the treatment. She said she was on the vacation a month club for a while which in translation meant she set happy goals of activities. She told me that she lived each day as her last, still does. Loves people openly and gets it back x2. She doesn't know how well she will do long term but the today matters. I understand you need to focus on your treatment but I hope you can stay with us enough to get the love we have for you. Maybe we can keep a running Ryan subject in general? It makes a big difference.

You have been a caring supportive person here. I believe this is who you are. Life gives us lots of crap to deal with and it also gives us pretty cool stuff. I have a friend with end stage cancer right now and his gifts have been getting and giving endless love and friendship. His gift to me has been being allowed to care for him. I feel like I am doing something.

I wish you luck on your journey and most of all peace. Peace is all we can ask for. Love to you.

I too am at a loss for words, except I am so sorry this is happening to you, and I will be praying for you.

((((((((((((((((((((((ryan)))))))))))))))))))))) what can i say that i haven't already said to you, prince?

my continual prayers, thoughts and energies and sent to you.

kd

Hey Ryan,

Been kind of hidden here lately- sorry I haven't posted to you much. You've helped me so many times and I'd like to help you... in anyway I can. My thoughts and prayers are with you-- please know that.

Now, not that I'm knocking the medical community... but they aren't always right. I have a niece that was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor when she was 3-- the doctors gave her 5 years to live as they couldn't stop the growth of the tumor. She is 20 years old now and a medical mystery!!! So one just can never know-- what's ahead.

Hope the caring and love from all around you give you strength! I'll be thinking of you Ryan- you have been a true gift here at PC!

You're welcome to PM me anytime, if you need to talk.

Your admirer and friend,
Mandy

Ry Man,

I am utterly speechless. Believe me when I say, I know how scared you are right now (you are sharing a pet name for my friend that was is your exact situation), but know my thoughts and prayers are with you ALWAYS.

Too stunned to add anything else right now

I LOVE YOU!!



(((((Ryan)))))

Much Much Love,
Jenn

Love, Love, Love, Love........lot's of love and all the support I can give......You're on my mind and in my heart......always.....
grace

My thoughts and Prayers are with you Ryan! You can fight this. You have a lot of support here. Stay strong and we will send our positive energy your way.

So many positive vibes are coming your way, you may have to duck!

Petunia

Ryan, all my thoughts and prayers are with you.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Ryan}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Jo

Big hug.....

Ryan I have known you for a short period of time, but i can't help but shed a tear for you. I sit and pray for whats best to come. It may seem hard right now, but it will get easier as time passes. I am here if you need an ear (I know that I am not you first choice, but I understand). Much love to you Ryan.