[jennaorgana]

i know i shouldn't be scared because i have been planning this for the past 4 months, but suddenly, now that it is happening so soon, i have to fight the urge to run. run fast and run far.

we (as in my family and i) are on eachother's nerves. everyone is fighting. everyone is staring at me like i am a leper. i guess i should just shut my eyes and wait for it to be over.

before long, i will be one step into my new life. breathe jenna, breathe.

[Tatyana2009]

Yes honey. Breathe. Take it easy. You are on your way to recovery. You are doing well. My thoughts are with you xxx

[FooZe]

Originally Posted by jennaorgana

i know i shouldn't be scared...

Who says? It seems to me that a lot of what you've posted, here and elsewhere, has been about sorting out what you should be doing and feeling and saying. Who you are and what's actually so for you often seems to get lost in the shuffle.

... suddenly, now that it is happening so soon, i have to fight the urge to run. run fast and run far.

You obviously have more than one urge, is all! You've long had the urge to go through McLean's program and benefit from it. When McLean seemed to be giving you a hard time you felt frustrated and had the urge to settle for Riggs. Now that your trip to McLean is getting close, you have the urge to flee -- and, if I may point out, the urge to fight your urge to flee.

I suspect what you'd get the most from would be just continuing to get ready for your trip, taking a step back from the action, and watching your various urges fight it out. That doesn't mean you're doomed to go with whichever urge "wins". If and when that even happened, you might discover still other urges you didn't even know were there. Anyway, it'll always be your choice what to actually go with -- something that, for all I know, the McLean program might be about teaching you.

i guess i should just shut my eyes and wait for it to be over... breathe jenna, breathe.

-- a.k.a., be here now*!

Today, for instance, you seem to be a day or two ahead of yourself -- your profile statement has you already at McLean.

Best of luck, jenna, and please do stay in touch!

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* Or, as another PC friend and I keep reminding each other: just keep swimming.

(((((jenna))))) Sending hugs your way!
This is a wonderful step you are taking towards recovery, you're very strong for doing this. You will be in my thoughts, please keep us updated on how you are doing!

[sanityseeker]

It is natural to be scared. This is a big step for you but you can do it. We are all behind you. Wishing you the very very best.

Stand tall, Jenna. Look them in the eyes. Listen. Let that big brain be a sponge.

Grant me the courage to be silent that I may hear Thy voice; to persevere, that I may share Thy victory; and to remember, lest I forget the way by which Thou has led me.

[Junerain]

(((((((((jennaorgana))))))))))))))))

Just wanted to hug you 'tis all

[tifferific]

Its best to be afraid. You know your alive, change is scarey and you are wonderful for doing it. You are strong. You can do this and when you get there you will feel so much better. Promise. Hugs